One of the first things I saw on Vashon Island was a large, hand-painted sign reading, “Philip for Fire Commissioner.” Vashon is a small island in Puget Sound, a 30-minute ferry ride from downtown Seattle. I don’t know precisely how many people live here or how big it is but not many and not very. [...]
A nice, long post (full of carbs!) is coming as soon as I get my act together (which, put like that, could mean never) but, in the meantime, do any of you lovely people live in Seattle? Anyone ever BEEN to Seattle? If so, would you plan my trip for me? We’re going to be [...]
Every time I read about someone’s experience with kids, my stomach travels up my esophagus to fill my throat and I hear the faint echo of someone laughing at me. I think that someone is my mother and I think she’s remembering every single day between 1978 and 1983. Something about Italy makes children seem [...]
People tend to assume there’s something between “moving in together” and “having kids.” People like my mother. When we mentioned that maybe children were on the horizon, in what was the most unexciting, non-announcement ever: “Hey! We’re thinking about kids! But not right away! So the earliest you might have a grandchild is, like, fall [...]
My favorite vacation activity is to loudly announce, “I should be at work right now!” at the dinner table before cackling and snorting wine out my nose while the waitress hovers uncomfortably in the background, wondering if it’s safe to approach or if something else is planning to fly out of my nasal passage and [...]
Tonight is the last night of our trip. I don’t want to sound churlish about a two-week vacation that didn’t involve my backyard and a beach towel, but I’m very excited to be getting on a plane tomorrow morning. Yes, the hotel room has towels that fold themselves but does it have a dog who [...]
I kid. There is no tolerance for prosecco here. But when you consume bottles with dinner on a fairly regular basis, it seems reasonable to assume that I will return home able to drink under the table, if not a hardened booze hound, at least the 15 year old across the street. When I decided [...]
I have, at last count, six mosquito bites. I am happy. Why am I happy about mosquito bites? Because they are ITALIAN mosquito bites. Italian mosquitos wear large sunglasses with the Chanel logo tactfully emblazoned in rhinestones. Italian mosquitos treat road signs as mere suggestion. Italian mosquitos are clearly superior to their more sedate American [...]
Number of bottles of wine drunk: 4 Number of gelato scoops consumed: 8 Number of mozzarella di bufula hunks shoved down my craw: Lost count after number 10. Number of strange looks received when whipping out a stuffed moose and posing it in front of some venerable Italian monument: 17 If anyone would care to [...]
Hello, my friends! I leave for Italy in less than an hour. We’ve packed the bags, shuffled the dog off to the neighbors, obtained the many snacks necessary for a long flight, retrieved the dog by hopping over the fence and lifting her over to spend the last 20 minutes with us (she was peering [...]
