You know how some days you feel really in the groove of things? You hop out of bed to exercise in the morning, you choose the apple over the apple danish, one work task flows effortlessly into the next, and nobody cuts you off when you’re trying to make a left turn? Yeah. I love [...]
Pub trivia renders me pretty much useless. Not as useless as I would be at, say, nuclear physics or CIA headquarters, but my main function on trivia night is more Fetching Pints than Accurately Naming the 27th President of the United States. Before I go to trivia, I like to make sure people are well [...]
Hipsters in plaid shirts and neon sunglasses seriously disturb me. Because it means that things I was wearing in high school with a gravely earnest air have come back as nostalgia fashion. Combined with the double chin I’ve noticed cropping up in pictures, I’m ready to stop aging now. Who can make that happen for [...]
For all the effort I put into not being a complete jackass to myself, every day finds me dissatisfied with something – whether it’s the ratio between amount of time spent working to amount of time spent staring blankly at a crack in the wall, or the way I look in jeans this week. (Hello, [...]
I don’t know who died, but the Baptist church across the street from my apartment is hopping. Cars are double-parked on one side of the street and blatantly in the street-cleaning zone on the other. (Do the orange funeral stickers exempt cars from parking tickets legally or just morally?) (The $500 in parking tickets I [...]
My poor, beleaguered Suzi. She’s on bed rest until I can figure out if I’m going to pay for the operation necessary to revive her or if she’s getting sold down the river. Suzi is my car, by the way. Suzi the Suzuki. She’s a good car, I’ve had her for nine years and my [...]
Some days I feel like I have things figured out and am trucking merrily along my little path – yes, my little path straight to death, because that’s where it inevitably ends, but at least it’s the right path toward death. Which is a comfort. It probably comes as no surprise that soon thereafter something [...]
My thought processes are an ever-shifting harmonic convergence of festering doubt and mewling anxiety. The human brain is a wonder, marvelous in its ability to twist events into something so far removed from reality as to be unrecognizable. (Or to qualify, in certain notable and best forgotten incidences, as certifiably insane.) Since there is no [...]
Brains are somewhat all-encompassing in their ability to control your life. Ever notice that? How much power your brain has over you? Yes. I’ve spent years trying to force myself into action that my brain just wouldn’t get behind and you know what? It never worked. Mind over matter, indeed. I honestly used to think [...]
People who know me would probably say that I’m a gentle sort – quiet, kind, prone to looking for the best in situations. But lately there are bright flashes of anger that spike out of me, manifesting in odd, deeply self-effacing comments that are a little too harsh for your average social situation and don’t [...]
