Differently. Is how. Which is intensely baffling when you tell someone you love them and they gaze blankly for a minute and then offer you a piece of fried chicken. They’re thinking, “Here is some love. In the form of sustenance for the body.” While you’re thinking, “That’s just chicken.” So you say you love [...]
Lately, I’ve been resisting this blog with such tremulous might and stubborn force of will that you’d assume it was a standardized test that I, in my dewy naivete, assumed would determine the course of my entire life. Huh. Perhaps I’ve managed to convince myself it has. The Algorithm of CRAZY 1. I’m a writer. [...]
Now that another week has passed into the annals of history, I have a few additions to my List o’ Things I Want in a Mate. Therefore: 12. A good match for me. Oh, so crucial. A person can be many wonderful things and just not the right one. It’s something to do with inexplicable [...]
My dating exploits are legendary. Mainly because I’m the only person I know who’s still single, so I totally have the market cornered. It’s easy to dominate the field when you’re the only one on it. I was out with some high school friends on Saturday night and, after giving this month’s rundown of romantic [...]
I moved from California to New York when I was 18. I visited Manhattan for the first time on winter break during my senior year of high school. Separated from the group by a pair of rogue gloves and my need to retrieve them, I walked the streets of an unfamiliar city and thought, “Oh yeah. [...]
Dating stumps me. Not the mechanics of it – conversation and a glass of something red is the easiest thing in the world, even if he’s a mouth-breather with the hygiene of an alley cat and the table manners of a pigeon. What really baffles me is how to choose the right person. I’ve always [...]
I want a dog more than I want just about anything else right now. If someone on the street offered me fame, fortune, the keys to a turn-of-the-century Victorian, and Nathan Fillion to mow my lawn – or – a Boxer Akita-mix puppy, I’d say, “Is the dog house-trained?” My walks take me to the [...]
Last week I spent some time going through my email archives – when you’ve been felled by the wasting plague, you need something to do during the seven minutes a day you’re not sleeping – and I found an email I sent to my ex, about a month before we split up. It was nine [...]
One nice – and highly entertaining – thing about not having a partner is making mental lists of qualities that partner will have when you do find him. Obviously, it’s much harder to do this when coupled up, because if you decide you want a man who gazes ardently off into the distance while translating Spanish [...]
You know what’s exhausting? Finding dates is exhausting. It’s not necessarily hard – at least when you’re young and live in a fairly metropolitan area and know how to use a computer – but the upkeep takes serious energy. The emails and the juggling and the planning and the laundry so you can keep your cute [...]
