If someone gave Sasquatch a sledgehammer and a cappuccino and set him loose in a newly constructed Ikea, he would have more delicacy than I do. On Friday night, I was at a bar with some friends, including one who cleverly maneuvered the entire group to the spot where his new crush was hanging out. [...]
Today, I left my house. Which proved itself a very good thing when I was handed salad and poached chicken, met a very sweet dog, was given a glimpse into my new dream apartment, got complimented on my shoes, and received several emails of the “we would like to consider paying you for your awesomeness” [...]
I had an experience a few weeks ago that was like getting leadership tips from Ghandi or having Stephen Hawking edit my science report. Or William Shakespeare say he really liked that poem I wrote in the 11th grade about the bell pepper and, yes, you SHOULD send it to The New Yorker, but first, [...]
I’ve been unemployed many times throughout my life – sometimes by choice, sometimes by accident, sometimes by deep governmental conspiracy aimed at the diminutive yet raucous aliens perched atop my head. At any rate, I have a fair amount of experience in this arena and I think I’m finally getting good at it. A lot [...]
My main goal for cleaning out my house last month was to clear the way for something new. Lo and behold, a mere three days after I finished OOTLS the new job jumped into my lap. Why, hello, whacked-out theory! You look so pretty WHEN YOU’RE PROVING ME RIGHT. Even better, other people found it [...]
The extent of my oblivion is astounding at times. I was walking past the Civic Center on Sunday – a mere two days after my last day at work, I’m like a hardened art thief who can’t resist returning to the scene of the crime to stare at the empty wall and chuckle maniacally because [...]
I quit my job on Friday. This announcement was heralded by the dulcet strains of a celestial choir and followed by a parade of liveried, baton-twirling orangutans. I wasn’t looking for a new job. Getting a new job wasn’t even a speck of shimmering dust on my personal event horizon. I wasn’t sending out carefully [...]
My parents considered naming me Sunshine (oh, the hippie years), but refrained for two reasons. One: I’d have to write Sunshine on all my checks and resumes, and do people take Sunshines seriously? I’m glad I never had to find out the hard way. Two: What if they called me “Sunny” and I, um, wasn’t? [...]
Concrete action is a universal panacea. Is “universal panacea” redundant? You know what would be a good concrete action right now? PICKING UP A DICTIONARY TO FIND OUT. Sometimes, concrete action should be shuffled aside for the sake of expediency. See how quickly I disprove my own points? I’m ridiculously bad at arguing for just this [...]
My tiny apartment didn’t understand the meaning of cramped until we tried to stuff in two people, rather than just one person and lots of neuroses. (Hey, neuroses take up space.) I invited Jenni to stay with me for BlogHer back when I was living in a house boasting guest quarters – complete with private [...]
