Today, I left my house. Which proved itself a very good thing when I was handed salad and poached chicken, met a very sweet dog, was given a glimpse into my new dream apartment, got complimented on my shoes, and received several emails of the “we would like to consider paying you for your awesomeness” [...]
For anyone who reads the Love Project – it’s still alive. Barely, haltingly, and freshly off an accidental hiatus, but alive. I don’t usually mention it here because it’s so…devoutly earnest. But my death grip on sarcasm wasn’t doing me any favors and a little wholesome squirming is good for the complexion. Anyway, I mention it [...]
Bikram, the dude who likes to do yoga in 110 degree heat, says “Come every day for the next 2 months and I will give you a new body, a new life.” All I got from Hot Yoga: Day One was a wicked headache and another parking ticket to pay, but I remain ever the [...]
For all the effort I put into not being a complete jackass to myself, every day finds me dissatisfied with something – whether it’s the ratio between amount of time spent working to amount of time spent staring blankly at a crack in the wall, or the way I look in jeans this week. (Hello, [...]
I had an experience a few weeks ago that was like getting leadership tips from Ghandi or having Stephen Hawking edit my science report. Or William Shakespeare say he really liked that poem I wrote in the 11th grade about the bell pepper and, yes, you SHOULD send it to The New Yorker, but first, [...]
I’ve been unemployed many times throughout my life – sometimes by choice, sometimes by accident, sometimes by deep governmental conspiracy aimed at the diminutive yet raucous aliens perched atop my head. At any rate, I have a fair amount of experience in this arena and I think I’m finally getting good at it. A lot [...]
The extent of my oblivion is astounding at times. I was walking past the Civic Center on Sunday – a mere two days after my last day at work, I’m like a hardened art thief who can’t resist returning to the scene of the crime to stare at the empty wall and chuckle maniacally because [...]
I quit my job on Friday. This announcement was heralded by the dulcet strains of a celestial choir and followed by a parade of liveried, baton-twirling orangutans. I wasn’t looking for a new job. Getting a new job wasn’t even a speck of shimmering dust on my personal event horizon. I wasn’t sending out carefully [...]
My parents considered naming me Sunshine (oh, the hippie years), but refrained for two reasons. One: I’d have to write Sunshine on all my checks and resumes, and do people take Sunshines seriously? I’m glad I never had to find out the hard way. Two: What if they called me “Sunny” and I, um, wasn’t? [...]
Concrete action is a universal panacea. Is “universal panacea” redundant? You know what would be a good concrete action right now? PICKING UP A DICTIONARY TO FIND OUT. Sometimes, concrete action should be shuffled aside for the sake of expediency. See how quickly I disprove my own points? I’m ridiculously bad at arguing for just this [...]
