Bride and groom pledging love, devotion, and solemn promises to clean the cat box more often, while their child giggles in the front row. Dancing and waving red vines in the air like glow sticks, because funk is playing and waving red vines when funk is playing is practically a requirement. I’m sure that’s written [...]
I used to think showing emotion in public was akin to stripping off my bra and whirling it three times over my head to better wrap it around an innocent chandelier. The chandelier I would then swing from by my knees. But I’m getting sappy in my fourth decade. My sarcasm gene squeaks in undignified [...]
I’m a very loyal person. When I was a junior in high school, I turned down a date for prom because I thought a friend wanted to go with him. (She didn’t.) (Oops.) I find a brand of chocolate chips I like and buy them until the company goes out of business – then I [...]
About a month ago, I was waiting for the train on my way to dinner. I was all decked out in clothes that usually molder in the back of my closet – green silk dress, high heels, and black gunk on my eyes. Tip to any San Franciscans who want to get hit on: Wear [...]
The problem with dating in San Francisco is that it’s a small city. Only 49 square miles. It takes a mere 20 minutes to get from one end to the other. (Unless you’re on MUNI, in which case it can take anywhere from half an hour to three days.) So every time you stop seeing someone, there’s yet another neighborhood [...]
After a day that alternately fascinated me (exhibit A: sitting in the California Supreme Court chambers and learning about the dueling habits of the first justices in 1850) and sapped my will to live (exhibit B: a lesson on the three branches of government), I was told to hie myself downtown. So hie myself I [...]
When you’re skiing in several feet of fresh powder and manage to tip yourself over, getting back up again is like trying to climb out of a vat of whipped cream. Last weekend, Tahoe was the Grand High Potentate of tricky yet stunning precipitation. After somehow losing a ski and plummeting face first down the mountain [...]
I was going to stop talking about BlogHer, but a question of profound importance has arisen. How are you protecting your stolen Bliss products? Do you have them in a safe with the cupcakes and birth certificates? Is there a special padlock I can buy? I climbed into the shower yesterday and found it already [...]
I have to admit, I was nervous about BlogHer. I come from a long line of hermits, hermits who sit in log cabins in the wilderness spit polishing the shotgun just in case that bastard squirrel from the next county strays into the vegetable patch again. Fine, it’s only my dad who polishes his shotgun [...]
I have found my people. I never thought my mecca would be the purple carpet of the W hotel, but it is so. Because you know what can be done on a purple carpet? The worm. And the worm, my friends, is awesome. Especially in thoroughbred racing form. Sure, there was some blatant cheating and [...]
