My love for this blog knows no bounds. That said, if it was a baby or even one of the more delicate cactus specimens, it would have died months ago from sheer neglect. Reason number 36 that I shouldn’t be allowed to breed. (Reason number 37 is that I’m bad at naming things. Hi, Mr. [...]
Step into the sun, step into the light. Los Angeles has sun. Lots and lots of sun. As someone who used to take bikram yoga and an environmentally unsound number of showers just to warm up, I am reveling in this. In fact, I’m reveling in the whole thing. In all the work, the reason [...]
My lust for melodrama may be skewing the facts a bit. I’m moving, not burning. Nothing is actually on fire, except possibly my closet because torching it would surely be easier than deciding which of my shoes get trunk space and which get abandoned at Goodwill. But sometimes it feels like I’ve taken everything safe [...]
My trip to Las Vegas last weekend was a glitter-dusted convergence of all my favorite things: cheese, hilarious people who like to type words on the internets, and accidentally flashing a room full of bloggers because I don’t understand how dresses work, especially dresses from American Apparel. Flashing people isn’t really a notable pastime of [...]
Bay to Breakers celebrated its hundredth anniversary yesterday, which honestly confused me until I realized it was probably just a leisurely jog back in 1912. Seems unlikely that the good women of the Edwardian era dressed up like sexy pandas to prance up Hayes Street. Or that the men stripped down to their red flannel [...]
Today is one of those days when something as simple as ordering coffee confuses me. Which does not bode well for the quality of this post, but I have “write blog post” on my to do list and my to do list has magical, mystical powers of doneness, powers I shouldn’t try to thwart. These [...]
So I’ll be wearing them more often. SORRY, EVERYONE WITH TASTE. You can’t see the Crocs in this picture and that’s a damn shame. But we clean up nice, right? Even if my sequin quotient is entirely insufficient. This weekend was all epic, all the time. From buying bunny tails to muppet photo bombing to [...]
My mother’s cat is a witch. Or maybe one of the lesser demons, disguised by a fluffy pelt. Only a witch or a minor devil could slide past a latched door in the dead of night (fine, 7:00 in the morning) to take a flying leap and land smack in the center of my stomach, [...]
My friends Leah and Simon are getting married in a few weeks. I officiated their legal marriage a few months ago, the one for the health insurance. Diamond rings and fancy parties are all well and good, but the real romance is in staring down half an inch of paperwork for the goddamn Blue Cross. [...]
We meant to go to Tosca, because Tosca has legendary Irish coffee and pervasive rumors that Sean Penn destroyed the pool table in the back room. Sean Penn could trip over me on his way to attack the juke box with nunchucks and I probably wouldn’t notice (handy in San Francisco – crazies on MUNI [...]
