The Incident
Posted by Moose on June 7th, 2010. Filed under: Adventures.Kristin and Scott recently pledged their troth in a lovely, tear-tugging ceremony with strewn petals and hair drifting cinematically across porcelain foreheads. It was eloquent and heartfelt and everything a wedding should be. At least until The Incident. When fate and a cozy venue made a dastardly pact that put me, my elbows, and the dessert table in the same space as physics and gravity, two sets of laws I’ve never particularly warmed to.
Yes, I knocked over the wedding cake.
In my defense, it wasn’t the entire cake, only a portion of the cake. Because it wasn’t a cake at all, it was a beautifully laid table full of vintage cake stands with the prettiest, lightest, most sold-a-tender-dewy-soul-to-the-devil’s-bakery-for-such-perfection cupcakes you’ve ever tasted.
It was A Moment, I don’t mind telling you. I felt my elbow collide with something, a rather unstable something, and I watched in wide-eyed horror as a turquoise cake stand tipped backward and nine cupcakes flew from their safe flat surface and into the air, arching in slow motion toward a bitter, painful end. Time slowed down as those carefully frosted tops landed upside down on the table cloth.
Then time sped up and suddenly the stand was righted and all the cupcakes were back in place, tops miraculously unsullied.
I’m fairly certain Nathan fixed everything with a neat economy of motion as I stood in slack-jawed horror, but I honestly don’t remember. Disaster burns itself into your cerebral cortex in a way that the aftermath doesn’t. I’m just glad I restricted myself to guppy-faced panic and kept my hands from flapping themselves toward further disaster.
Soon my heart stopped racing and I picked up my champagne to edge carefully away from the table. I joined Holly across the aisle, where she was flipping through the shots on her camera. Where she found this:
My guilt, captured in pixels for posterity.
Originally uploaded by Nothing But Bonfires
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June 7th, 2010 at 5:40 pm
HAHAHA. That photo is amazing!
June 7th, 2010 at 8:31 pm
I’m thinking of having it framed. Or blowing it up to poster-size for my new house. Or both. Yeah, probably both.
June 8th, 2010 at 7:14 am
That picture is priceless. I’m new to your journal, and very glad to meet another ‘one who will bump in to things’
June 8th, 2010 at 7:55 am
Haaaaaaaa. LIKE BUTTON.
June 8th, 2010 at 10:47 am
That photo is awesome.
I’m always soothed to know that there is someone existing in the world equally as clumsy as I. Thank you.
June 8th, 2010 at 11:43 am
Every potential boyfriend from here on out will receive a copy of this picture with a warning that he will be required to help me hide the evidence.
June 8th, 2010 at 12:16 pm
Oh my gosh. That’s the greatest photo! I love when moments like that are forever preserved to remind us to a) stay humble, and b) keep our sense of humor! I have a whole selection of them.
June 8th, 2010 at 11:39 pm
You have no way of knowing this, but Nathan prides himself on his cat-like reflexes. This is only going to go to his head.
Also, that picture is the best thing ever.
June 9th, 2010 at 3:00 pm
Bwahahaha! And see the groom is none the wiser!
June 12th, 2010 at 6:31 pm
This is perhaps the best photo I’ve seen from the wedding thus far, and we’re both equally bummed this was yet another classic moment from our wedding that we missed out on.
(Also, it’s totally something Kristin would do. You think you’re clumsy, just spend 24 hours with that trainwreck…!)
June 12th, 2010 at 6:43 pm
all kinds of wonderful!
i so wished someone would have knocked over our wedding cake because it looked like crap.
nice hair action btw.”)
June 12th, 2010 at 7:17 pm
LOVE!!!
June 13th, 2010 at 12:31 am
Furthermore, I want to know what’s going on behind you!! Soneone’s getting cozy with someone’s husband!!
September 4th, 2010 at 2:38 pm
[...] all of you. If you want to read more about the wedding for now, Leah wrote a lovely post, and Moose recapped how she almost ruined the wedding “cake” (*snicker*). Filed Under: All About Me, Gettin' Hitched, SVV About [...]