Babysitting is Much Easier With a Leash
Posted by Moose on June 4th, 2010. Filed under: Nice Things.Kids are fun. I’d totally forgotten this basic yet elusive fact, a grievous lapse for which you must forgive me, mainly because the only kids I routinely see are the ones on my computer screen. You may have noticed that children on your computer screen don’t move much and stay eerily silent. They don’t tap dance their little sneakered feet on your hardwood floors or hold your index finger as you embark on an urban safari.
Wombat and I hung out tonight while his parents made use of a Groupon approximately two hours before it expired. Because my apartment is untried by small humans, I decided to avoid the death trap scenario and we went for a walk. (Walk > Death Trap.) Wombat likes stairs and was intent on investigating every single set of them, some more than once. Because he is a very thorough child and will not countenance any shoddy stairway inspection, no matter how briskly I tugged on his little monkey leash.
(The only advice Simon offered regarding his offspring was, “Don’t let him push you around.” Whether or not I allowed a two-foot-tall human with a dripping nose to push me around is a matter of some debate.)
Three blocks into our expedition, I got hungry and we went to Memphis Minnie’s for barbeque (well, I got barbeque, he got Spaghetti-Os) where he stood patiently under the counter reading a sign about pigs. I say reading because he took his little finger and pointed it right at the “s” while making a “sssss” sound, something I am convinced is not an accident, because any kid who can imitate a walrus in a monocle so effectively can certainly read by 18 months.
After a detour to the dog park where he acted all excited and wee conqueror of the animal kingdom, at least until an actual dog came within 12 square feet, we braved the apartment death trap and sat on the kitchen floor to eat. He with his Spaghetti-Os and me with my barbeque. Kitchen floors are handy when you both have red sauce and approximately the same level of hand eye coordination when it comes to dinner forks.
Perfunctory application of damp paper towel to hands (hey, kids were built to be grubby) and we sat in my big red chair, where he snuggled into my arm to listen to Mercer Mayer’s tales of a delightfully moody critter I remember from my own childhood.
Thanks, Wombat. Especially for waiting until you were in your mom’s arms again before doing that horrifying hurl-your-little-skull-backward-toward-the-cement thing.
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June 4th, 2010 at 10:21 pm
Um, can you babysit ME? This sounds like a lovely evening. I promise less elevator crying this time.
June 4th, 2010 at 10:39 pm
Awwww…..
June 5th, 2010 at 10:52 am
Yay! I’ll take it as a good sign that he threw a fit when he had to be dragged away from his newest bestest friend to hang out with his good-fer-nuthing parents again. Next time we’ll make sure he’s better about doing his “moose” sign.
June 5th, 2010 at 4:55 pm
Obviously you’re an amazing care giver. You’re already introducing him to quality barbecue.
Also, my nephews totally have those monkey leash things and they LOVE THEM.
June 5th, 2010 at 4:55 pm
Obviously you’re an amazing care giver. You’re already introducing him to quality barbecue.
Also, my nephews totally have those monkey leash things and they LOVE THEM.
June 6th, 2010 at 4:42 pm
This got a bog ole awwwww from me. Sounds like a fun night.
June 7th, 2010 at 8:02 am
Leash. I forgot to register for one of those, but it’s not too late!
June 7th, 2010 at 8:03 am
Kids are! fun. I love hanging out with kids. Especially kiddos belong to good friends. Somehow their stories and freak-outs are just that much more entertaining.