Nothing a Little Sweat Can’t Cure
Posted by Moose on April 28th, 2010. Filed under: Meat Suit.Bikram, the dude who likes to do yoga in 110 degree heat, says “Come every day for the next 2 months and I will give you a new body, a new life.”
All I got from Hot Yoga: Day One was a wicked headache and another parking ticket to pay, but I remain ever the wide-eyed optimist. So I went back this morning. Maybe I’m just lightheaded from dehydration but I think waking up at 5:15 a.m. to sweat in stifling heat for an hour and a half is doing me good. Sure, I’ve been devouring carbs like the apocalypse is nigh and gazing longingly at the couch and all its horizontal possibilities, but I feel good. Healthy. Minus the malingering unease that accompanies not doing that thing you say you’ll do and then don’t. Like maybe my life will change for the better. Like maybe my butt will soon be as cute as all those yoga girls who are perfectly happy wearing tiny shorts not only outside the privacy of their own living room but EVER. (You know what I wear in the privacy of my living room? FLEECE PANTS.)
My life could use a little overhaul, frankly. More of attitude than anything else, but that’s exactly when the world will knock your forehead gently against a brick wall until the only recourse is to throw up your hands and laugh in the face of disaster. After the massive transmission fail, my computer decided to return to the Great Apple in the Sky. (Opening your laptop to realize it won’t turn on is like waking up to find a stump where your right arm used to be. It’s traumatic and horrifying and you don’t realize how much and how constantly you need it until it isn’t there.) Then there were the parking tickets, in a number unprecedented even for San Francisco quota week. After a few days of quivering in dread with what might crop up next, I decided to surrender. Because there’s no use resisting the whims of commerce. Really, Universe? This is how you want to play? Fine. BRING IT. Anything you can dish out, I can take. I’ll see your swarms of bees and your plagues of locusts and raise you a 6 a.m. yoga class. ONE THAT WILL CHANGE MY LIFE. TAKE THAT.
If I were raised in a more curse-driven culture, I would be wary of challenging the heavens in such a way, but I like to think the Universe admires my chutzpah. Or at least finds me amusing.
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April 28th, 2010 at 6:08 pm
I did Bikram for a long time, and really loved it…I hope it is epically awesome for you. After the headaches, and the adjustment to the fact that everything in that room reeks of feet.
April 28th, 2010 at 6:59 pm
Sounds as if it’s time for another Twitter message to the Universe-at-Large.
Surely it can produce more than a monkey and 1K.
April 28th, 2010 at 10:40 pm
Bikram Yoga seriously has changed me and my life. I feel the old crazy creep back in when I go more then a week without class. Call me a masochist, but I really like being able to kick my own butt on a regular basis. No, I don’t HAVE to try hard, but I do, because it feels better to take my agressions out on myself rather then everyone around me. Best wishes to you on your journey!
- jamie
p.s. I agree with Amy, but I would say that the room reeks of feet & balls.
April 29th, 2010 at 12:06 am
Not judging the Moose!! And you got up early!! Even if it meant you were too dehydrated to properly jump up and down like Rumpelstiltskin when you saw your parking ticket after.
But I dislike the man alive today who thinks he can patent yoga poses older than the dirt under his manicured fingernails. San Francisco did a rather scathing expose of him and his ENORMOUS ego a few years back, when you hit the public library, check it out. (Another good reason to read them there is the crazy vegan fiction/storyline. Try not to read about the great cocktails that cost as much as you’d ever pay for dinner.)
“Hot” yoga is almost the same, but you aren’t restricted to 26 poses, and the egomaniac doesn’t get any kickbacks from the yoga studio. Of course, with a Groupon, I’m sure he isn’t getting his cut now either.
April 29th, 2010 at 7:20 am
I’m in awe of those of you who can do hot yoga. I can’t even do regular-temperature yoga. Your determination in this field can only lead to good things, of that I’m sure. Plus how badass is it to say “Oh yeah I’ve been up since 5 because I do Bikram Yoga first thing in the morning.”
April 29th, 2010 at 8:30 am
Regular yoga, bring it. 100* yoga, kill.me.now. Am oh so impressed by your ability to remain balanced as I routinely toppled over in wake of cooking myself with the boiling sweat coming off my body. Hats off to you, lady
April 29th, 2010 at 9:29 am
Good for you! I did Bikram yoga for awhile and LOVED it! Unfortunately it is a little cost-prohibitive at the moment, but as soon as I can afford to go back I will!
Just stick with it and eventually you’ll get over the headaches, just be sure to hydrate properly. One thing that helped me was coconut water. My studio had a refrigerator case of it so you could by it there, but it was a lot cheaper for me to buy it somewhere like Central Market/Whole Foods. Or you can have it shipped from Amazon too. It’s yummy, and has more electrolytes than Gatorade AND more potassium than bananas.
Sorry I don’t have any suggestions for the parking tickets!
April 29th, 2010 at 11:04 am
That hot yoga business sounds like my own personal hell. I’m afraid my Northern European genes basically render me immobile over 80 degrees. And when you add in the tiny clothes and feet smell, well, no.
But I am 100% behind shaking things up and telling the universe to bring it. I’m hoping a full spring cleaning/rearranging of my apartment and a return to running will do this for me. God help us all if I have to turn to hot yoga.
April 29th, 2010 at 10:48 pm
I loved Bikram. It changed my life for the better in pretty much every way, particularly the kind that involves not freaking out when curveballs come my way.
Coconut water is a great suggestion – for me Smart Water was a revelation. Tastes like water but kept me more hydrated.
I like the idea of letting go into whatever the hell is going on. I mean, it’s happening anyway, so might as well get comfy with it, yes?
enjoy the yoga
May 2nd, 2010 at 9:22 pm
Yes. The ease of which we break promises to ourselves. Good luck kiddo.