Things I Think About at the Symphony
Posted by Moose on January 21st, 2010. Filed under: Uncategorized.Surprise polka! That…is a surprise. And a polka. How endearing. Polkas are quite jaunty. And make me want beer with a side of sausage.
Who plays the triangle? Did he have to go to Juilliard and major in Triangle? How hard can it be? Does his business card say Triangle Professional? It’s probably some vastly misunderstood art form and I just mocked it.
Does Yo-Yo Ma carry his own cello, or does he have a roadie?
Did the conductor just do a symphonic version of Ride the Pony? He did not just slap his own ass. Did he? No. This is Michael Tilson Thomas. He did not just slap his own ass. On a podium. You need new glasses.
Hey, Yo-Yo Ma carries his own cello.
Is his bow strung with unicorn tail? Is that why it sounds so good?
Going to the symphony is a very expensive form of Zen meditation. Time expands and contracts and then you wake up, having no idea what’s going on, except that YOU NEED TO FOCUS BECAUSE THIS IS YO-YO MA. THE DUDE IN FRONT OF YOU IN LINE WHO COULDN’T GET TICKETS WOULD BE FOCUSING RIGHT NOW.
Snzzzz…
Stand up, it’s time to clap. Bravo!
Yo-Yo Ma is really quite something. So is the guy with the tambourine.
Did I just enter a fugue-like dream state? Where am I? Does the breeze created by dozens of bows moving in unison rip a hole in the time space continuum?
Whoa. Yo-Yo Ma just tripped. So now when the first violinist goes home and his wife asks how the show was, he’s going to have to say, “I tripped Yo-Yo Ma. I am now the guy who tripped Yo-Yo Ma.”
I’m really hungry. Is that because time has ceased having meaning? Where are the girls with light-up hats and lots of cleavage perched over trays of cigarettes and Snickers bars? What do you mean, this isn’t a burlesque show?
This is really quite relaxing. I feel…happy.
Damn. Where can you get a cookie around here?
January 22nd, 2010 at 6:16 am
I was a music major in college and I’m not sure what else you’re supposed to think about during college. I couldn’t focus on orchestral pieces that long. And dude, Michael Tilson Thomas. I buy recordings with his name on them. btw, the triangle guy majored in percussion in college and they trade who gets to play that. It’s not difficult, but he does have to focus a lot not to miss his chance to play.
January 22nd, 2010 at 6:30 am
“I tripped Yo-Yo Ma.” Ha! Priceless.
January 22nd, 2010 at 8:15 am
I’m ashamed to say that I have somewhat the same reaction to symphonic concerts, opera, etc. And I even played in orchestra in college and grad school. To me, it’s kind of like getting a massage: you’re lulled into complacency of the moment, and then you realize that time is rushing past you and you’re not paying enough attention, but that just makes you (me) stressed and even LESS able to appreciate what’s going on. The only trick I have up my sleeve (and it’s a good one) is that my husband is a classical musician; when we go to concerts, he gives me a (whispered) tutorial of what to pay attention to in the music, the intricacies and interconnectedness of the themes, blah blah blah. It’s like having my very own portable “How to Understand and Appreciate Classical Music” tutor.
January 22nd, 2010 at 8:34 am
How much do I love that one of your commenters actually KNEW the answer to your question about the triangle player? A lot, that’s how much
I need to get to the symphony again — I haven’t been in years and years (probably since I lived in Boston), but I used to love to go.
January 22nd, 2010 at 11:40 am
As noted above, the triangle player majored in percussion. Depending upon the piece he or she probably played about sixteen other instruments in addition to triangle.
And there’s a funny story about Yo Yo Ma forgetting his cello in the trunk of a NYC cab once. All was well, they tracked it down, but it was a multi-million dollar instrument. So… yeah. He carries his own cello. And his bow is probably so expensive that you could buy a unicorn for that fee.
And with that, blogdom’s resident Music Nerd signs off.
January 22nd, 2010 at 11:46 am
How cool would it be to say that your profession is being Yo-Yo Ma’s roadie?!
January 22nd, 2010 at 1:09 pm
Um, you are the second San Franciscan today who has blogged about Yo-Yo Ma, and how cultured am I that I had no clue who he was? I actually didn’t know he was even a he, but thought maybe you were talking about some advanced version of yoga or your new martial arts obsession.
January 22nd, 2010 at 3:40 pm
I was in band, for like 9 years, I did concert band and marching band and I hate any kind of concert/opera/symphony.
I like musicals, because they sing songs that are catchy! And some of them I know!
But any other kind of cultured music event? SNOOZER. Don’t even get me started on ballet. It makes me want to stab something.
January 22nd, 2010 at 4:50 pm
I’m shocked Kristin doesn’t know who Yo-Yo Ma is. I guess she’s too young. Am I the only one who owned the YYM/Bobby McFerrin album “Hush”? Ah the early 90s…
January 22nd, 2010 at 8:43 pm
The triangle guy majored in percussion, sure, but maybe he’s not good enough to play the glockenspiel, because some people are sort of glockenspiel challenged, so he gets stuck with the triangle because IT DOESN’T HAVE ANY NOTES.
Also, please tell me Yo-Yo Ma didn’t drop anything when he tripped. Not his cello and not his bow. The internet’s other resident music nerd is feeling queasy just thinking about instrument damage…
January 26th, 2010 at 8:16 pm
I totally want to play the triangle. I think it’s one of my long lost callings in this life.
January 30th, 2010 at 2:36 am
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