A Text Message Would Work Too
Posted by Moose on August 4th, 2009. Filed under: Meat Suit.My body is telling me something, but I have no idea what. For some reason, it revolts at the idea of sending me a nice email and prefers to send the message by forcing me to cling weakly to the cheese counter while the world condenses to the spots floating in front of my eyes, the lunch-time noise mutes to a dull, far-off roar, and tourists from Tulsa step gingerly around me. In other words, I almost fainted in the Ferry Building on Friday. A message I interpreted as GO HOME AND GET IN BED.
After lying in bed and staring at Harry (Spider Co-Resident No. 7) perfect his maramba across the ceiling for a day or so, I decided I was fine (read: bored) and got up to run errands and eat cheese and random Italian meat with friends in Dolores Park while watching Pretty in Pink. An experience that’s greatly enhanced by a sitting behind a collection of young gay men in fluffy pink prom dresses. Their dog was wearing a pink scarf.
The next morning Chris and I foraged through the Alameda Flea market, where I found a Maxwell coffee ad from 1930, describing what morning food goes best with their coffee. Among the suggestions are Leg of Black Mountain Bear, Haunch of Arizona Elk, Kentucky ‘Coons, Sheep Tongues, and Young Squirrels. That’s copied directly from the ad, by the way. No embellishment necessary when discussing “luxurious cuisine”, Southern-style. I’m framing that sucker and putting it over my french press and bags of Blue Bottle.
We started dragging, something we attributed to Beer, Too Much; the over-whelming assortment of tea cups; and the sun that kept flirting with the fog, until finally I had to peel off my jacket, my sweater, and deeply regret wearing my boots. I thought I was just getting old – to be so massively hung-over for so long from a couple of beers – until I went to work on Monday and realized that I wasn’t processing what anyone was saying. Adults in the Charlie Brown TV Specials make more sense, and I realized that when someone was asking me to do something, I wasn’t quite sure which of the three heads to focus on. So I went home and crawled into bed. AGAIN.
I’ve been sick more in the past year than I’ve been sick in my life. At my last job, I had six weeks of sick days stacked up because I’d taken a grand total of three days over five years. Now, when taking sick days just takes away from my vacation days, I’ve been sick every couple of months. Only two things have changed this year: 1. My apartment, which is charming and full of ineradicable mold, and 2. My job. Because I like my apartment and I don’t like my job, I keep saying I’m allergic to CubeVille. Since I’m officially finished with CubeVille on Friday, we’ll see if my thesis has any merit.
Until then, I’m guzzling thera-flu and hoping the spiders will figure out how to do a chorus line across my ceiling.
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August 4th, 2009 at 10:12 am
Oh, boo. I hope you feel better immediately. I think the new job is just what the doctor ordered. Or would order, if he had attended some weird kind of medical school where they don’t learn about medicine and stuff.
August 4th, 2009 at 10:16 am
Ooh, sucky that you’re sick. I spent all of Sunday evening and most of yesterday nursing a wicked headache. I also had chills yesterday, though, which don’t normally come with my headaches, so perhaps I had a touch of whatever has knocked you out? I do seem to remember something about a shared flask of Calvados along with all the beer at the movie
Does brandy sufficiently kill germs?
August 4th, 2009 at 10:22 am
Make sure you’re eating some protein…sounds like how I feel when my blood sugar gets low. It’s miserable and being in bed doesn’t really do much. I start realizing I’ve not had lunch for several days in a row or not had any protein to speak of (sounds like I should be thinner than I am, hhmmm). Anyway – I hope that you start feeling better before the new job!
August 4th, 2009 at 10:24 am
OH, and when you get to be 30, the switch is instantly flipped so that you can’t do hangovers as well as you used to. The gods are just like that.
August 4th, 2009 at 10:30 am
Oh, Theraflu is awful. I think it tastes like Death. Get well soon!
August 4th, 2009 at 11:29 am
Hey, I was also at the Alameda Flea Market on Sunday! And I was also wearing ill-advised wintery clothes. I got a terrible sunburn on my neck — WHAT IS UP WITH YOUR WEATHER, ALAMEDA?
Anyway, I wonder if you found a hat? I saw approximately 7867 awesome ones that I considered buying.
August 4th, 2009 at 12:01 pm
Ack, that dizzy, spots in your eyes feeling is the worst. Hope you are feeling 100% again soon!
August 4th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
Hurrah for no more Cubeville! Take good care of yourself, darlin’.
August 4th, 2009 at 3:16 pm
Summer colds are The Worst. I have been blowing my nose for a week. It’s so annoying.
I hope you feel better. I am envious of your escape from Cubeville!
August 4th, 2009 at 7:03 pm
It would be so, so, nice if the body could communicate by means other than feeling like crap. Hope you feel better!
August 4th, 2009 at 10:41 pm
Mold is so evil. Never underestimate it. Hope you feel better soon! Good luck on the new job.
August 5th, 2009 at 8:18 am
Rest up! Glad to hear you’re honoring your body right now. They sure have an uncanny way of letting us know what’s up and NOT letting us ignore it. Hope that your exit from Cubeville and (I’m assuming) fluorescent lighting helps. Hanging out in Sausalito can always do something for the soul as well!
August 5th, 2009 at 11:17 am
Theraflu won’t make the spiders do a chorus line. You’ll need stronger drugs for that.
Feel better!
August 5th, 2009 at 11:35 am
Are you still not eating sugar? Because THAT would be your problem. Go eat some beignets.
August 5th, 2009 at 10:00 pm
Bummer–wish I’d known Alameda was last week! I totally would have gone, too! Sorry you haven’t been feeling well =(
August 6th, 2009 at 10:41 pm
Ugh–I’m so sorry! I really hope the fuzzy goes away soon.
xox
August 8th, 2009 at 11:44 pm
And here, all this time, I thought the spider’s name was “hairy”. I guess I just hear what I want to hear.
August 10th, 2009 at 8:37 pm
am I crazy to recall (I think) that you have been in this job for a year or so? And you say you’ve been sick ALOT this year. Either there might be mold growing in your cube or this job is not “the one”. (we had a spider named Harry, but then it got shut between a window and screen in the heat and shriveled.
October 22nd, 2009 at 9:22 pm
Hello from Russia!
Can I quote a post in your blog with the link to you?