How Plagiarism Can Lead to Gainful Employment. Or, How Wasting Time on Twitter Got Me a Job.
Posted by Moose on July 26th, 2009. Filed under: How To.I quit my job on Friday. This announcement was heralded by the dulcet strains of a celestial choir and followed by a parade of liveried, baton-twirling orangutans.
I wasn’t looking for a new job. Getting a new job wasn’t even a speck of shimmering dust on my personal event horizon. I wasn’t sending out carefully edited cover letters or scouring job boards or even sitting at my desk and wistfully thinking, “You know what would be swell? BEING SOMEWHERE ELSE RIGHT NOW.” (Fine, I was thinking that. But only in conjunction with some not-very-proactive daydream about reading a large, leather bound gothic novel in front of a roaring fire while the butler fetches me a hot toddy and a warm brick for my feet.) (July in San Francisco is cold, yo.) After months and months of job hunting last year that yielded little more than rejection and unusual amounts of dry-cleaning, I accepted my current job and have determinedly shunned Craigslist ever since. I thought it would be at least another year before I could gather the fortitude to start looking again. So imagine my surprise when a new job jumped gracefully into my lap, like a gazelle auditioning for Alvin Ailey.
Here’s where I blow the ending into smithereens small enough to make any truly dedicated storyteller cringe – I GOT A JOB OFF TWITTER. Yes, I did.
Wherein the Fairy Tale of Getting a New Job Without Looking, Especially in This Economy, Is Explained. Also, That Vaguely Hysterical Twitter Announcement.
Like many of my fellow internet brethren (hello, fellow internet brethren! you are some of my very favorite people! truly!), I spend inordinate – even obnoxious – amounts of time on Twitter. This is a source of much amusement for my work friends. They enjoy tiptoeing up to my gray padded cubicle, lurking around the corner so the fluorescent lights don’t cast looming shadows to alert me of their nefarious presence, and loudly asking some trumped up question. Just to watch me jump and scramble to minimize the telltale blue, be-clouded page.
One day I was at a loss for words and, instead of slinking off the internet to wallow in dull but self-respecting silence, I decided to steal someone else’s words. I credited the source (making it not so much plagiarism as laziness, I suppose) and the source found me. After yelling “Hey, look! Brian Andreas is on Twitter!” – rendering null and void my “of COURSE I’m devoted to this spreadsheet!” aura of work ethic yet again – I clicked the handy “Follow” button under his name. A few months and several exchanges about black licorice and pirates later, he asked: “Random question, but what do you do for work?” I replied, “I fax things for attorneys and YES, IT’S EVERY BIT AS FASCINATING AS IT SOUNDS.” Then he asked if I might be interested in a job.
A job? A job, you say? A job that would probably have very little to do with gray cubicles, Polizei-esque glares if my computer is turned on at 8:07 rather than the precise turn of the hour, or a Committee on Committees? (No, I’m not exaggerating any of that. Not even the Committee on Committees.) SIGN ME UP.
So I drove over to Sausalito and, after a two hour discussion about philosophical quandaries and books recently loved and nothing whatsoever about my resume or work challenges over which I triumphed, they hired me.
I’ve never been hired on the spot for anything. Not even when my father was the one hiring. I believe the best word for my reaction was “gobsmacked.” And the best description for my facial expression was “cow, paused mid-chew.”
My answer wasn’t immediate (see: gobsmacked, cow-like), but as I was driving home I thought, “How can I not do this? HOW?” So I’m doing it. I start two weeks from now and, lo, I am thrilled. About the company, my new job duties, the possibilities, and, yes, for my grand escape from CubeVille. I admit nothing, but there may have been some celebratory dancing. Said celebratory dancing may have included an Irish jig and possibly a crude polka.
Now that Twitter sorted out my job, I’m wondering if it can do the same for my love life. Maybe I’ll put up a few clever @NathanFillion comments to see if that yields fruit. YES, I’M CONSIDERING IT. AND NO, I’M NOT ASHAMED.
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July 26th, 2009 at 9:47 pm
I don’t know how you could type this without stopping so often to perform HUGE FIST PUMPS! Congratulations!
July 26th, 2009 at 10:25 pm
How awesome! I am so excited you don’t have to fax crap anymore!
Congrats!
Does this mean I am going to have to spend more time on Twitter? I think maybe. Sigh.
July 26th, 2009 at 10:25 pm
Woo hoo…. Congrats. Here’s to new beginnings.
July 27th, 2009 at 3:41 am
Hooray for you! If it’s odd to be genuinely happy for someone you’ve never met, then color me odd. Congratulations!
p.s. And now, when I interrupt (put off) my job search by spending a few (many) minutes Twittering, I will not feel the slightest bit guilty. Instead I will feel good about giving ye olde Fate plenty of avenues for working her magic with me. It’s a great Monday already!
July 27th, 2009 at 3:45 am
I just looked at the URL for this particular post:
http://www.mooseinthekitchen.com/?p=888
Isn’t 8 considered by the Chinese to be a lucky number? And that 888 would be especially (triply? threeply?) lucky?
I felt the need to point that out, because maybe it means something good? Although now that I’ve written all this, I think all it means is that I need to get out of the house for some fresh air and coffee.
July 27th, 2009 at 4:29 am
This is fantastic! Also, Twitter is fantastic. Also, to me the strangest thing about reading this post is I’m sitting in a different room than I normally use my computer and happen to be facing my Brian Andreas print. And now I’m going to go follow him on Twitter.
July 27th, 2009 at 6:00 am
Congratulations! May the power of Twitter never be mocked.
July 27th, 2009 at 7:31 am
Yay! I’m jealous. Two of my previous jobs have fallen into my lap with no effort on my part (except talking to everybody I ever meet in an attempt to get them to like me and think of me when they hear of a job opening). It’s been almost five years and I’m still waiting for my next job to arrive so I can quit the current one (or perhaps I should think about actually looking for one?)
Your new job sounds so much more interesting and right up your alley than your current one. Good luck!
July 27th, 2009 at 8:13 am
Wow! Awesome! It’s about time the Internet paid you back for your dedication.
July 27th, 2009 at 8:26 am
That’s wonderful! Congratulations!!!!!
July 27th, 2009 at 8:42 am
Man. I have thus far avoided twitter, but if it’s going to find me a job, I might have to finally give in and join.
July 27th, 2009 at 8:48 am
Wow, I can’t believe twitter finally had an actual purpose, other than telling me what my friends did every 5 minutes of every day!
Good for you, Goose. I am excited to hear more about that job!
July 27th, 2009 at 8:48 am
Woops, typo… I meant “Moose”, of course.
July 27th, 2009 at 9:23 am
Okay, now you have to go back and do some math. Count up how many resumes you sent out, how many months you looked, how many times you said, “I think my biggest flaw is that sometimes I work too hard.”
I looked for a job for EIGHT MONTHS when I moved to this city. I forget the stats of how many resumes I sent out, but it was appalling and helped me appreciate victory even more.
I couldn’t be more excited for you. I love Brian, I love Moose, and I love kismet.
July 27th, 2009 at 9:47 am
Congrats! I’m so excited for you! And what an interesting story to be able to tell about how you got the job.
July 27th, 2009 at 1:02 pm
Good for you! I’m hoping your escape from the lawyers is going to start a trend and that I won’t be far behind you (even though I am one of the lawyers. I’m sick of our kind).
July 27th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
That’s utterly fantastic. I’m so happy for you!
July 27th, 2009 at 3:21 pm
Congratulations! I hope this means my approach to finding a new job (i.e. thinking about how I’d like another job) will work out somehow.
So are you working in Sausalito? Are you going to ferry over? That sounds like the best commute ever.
July 27th, 2009 at 5:59 pm
This is an amazing story—I’m so happy for you. Congratulations! And yes, are you working in Sausalito?! Eat some of the delicious ice cream from the cash only ice cream place. Delicious.
July 28th, 2009 at 8:25 am
Do it! Mr. Fillon won’t know what hit him. ;o)
Congrats on the job! That is so exciting, chica!
xoxox
July 28th, 2009 at 8:42 am
That is FREAKING AWESOME. (here via twitter! go fig.)
July 28th, 2009 at 8:58 am
Congrats! Great news. And go Twitter!
July 28th, 2009 at 9:54 am
Congratulations! I have to say, it’s your Twitter feed that makes me embarrassingly excited to meet you at The Blathering.
Also: Nathan Fillion is mine, so GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.
July 28th, 2009 at 3:57 pm
WOW! Just . . . SERIOUSLY! CONGRATS. That is spectacularly awesome and it couldn’t have happend to a nicer Moose!
July 28th, 2009 at 7:01 pm
Um, wow! Congrats!
July 29th, 2009 at 12:28 am
I wish I were home right now to take you out on the town and tell you how much you deserve this. I am so happy and proud of you!
Keep us posted on the love life leads. If it works, I will become Twitter’s newest devotee and will ramp up my own twitter-time trying out its baby producing karma!
“Twitter: for all your wish upon a star needs!” I like it!
July 29th, 2009 at 2:54 am
This may go down as the only job someone gets (not looses) because of Twitter. Very original – Congratulations!!
July 29th, 2009 at 11:26 am
Thank you, all! I am very excited. There is dancing, often at inappropriate places – like at the fax machine and in meetings with people wearing ties.
July 29th, 2009 at 3:34 pm
Because I’m only human, with a propensity for eavesdropping, I do have one question: What is this new job? Can you please tell me? It’s so exciting!!
July 29th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
Um, you are only awesome. And, also, when my current boss told me that my current position was opening up, he basically did it in a DM on Twitter. So, kind of the same, but really totally different.
July 29th, 2009 at 5:44 pm
Congrats! I can’t wait to hear about the job!
I used to find Twitter utterly useless. Until an editor found me, asked for my manuscript, and then offered a publishing contract for it.
So yeah. I don’t get it. But I like it better now.
July 29th, 2009 at 5:46 pm
Awesome! Sounds like I need to be on Twitter more often.
July 29th, 2009 at 7:03 pm
YAYYYYY! I can’t wait to hear more!
July 30th, 2009 at 11:29 am
OK, that is AWESOME! Congrats!
At work when someone mentions Twitter, I pretend to know nothing about it and get a very glazed over look in my eyes.
August 3rd, 2009 at 10:26 am
So I’ve already told how unbelievably psyched! I am for you, and you already know about my undying devotion to Brian Andreas (two of his prints are now adorning the wall in front of my writing desk), but have we discussed my love for Nathan Fillion yet? HAVE WE? If you get to meet him, you have to let me come along as The Person Who Holds Your Scarf, or something.
(YAY!)
August 10th, 2009 at 8:38 pm
aha! I knew it was about a year in this job (per my last comment on your current post). And you quit! woot! congrats! (on everything!)
August 12th, 2009 at 10:15 am
I am SO behind.
THIS IS AWESOME. SERIOUSLY, SERIOUSLY AWESOME.
September 2nd, 2009 at 5:22 am
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