Intrigue and Questionable Chicken
Posted by Moose on July 9th, 2009. Filed under: Uncategorized.Turns out, the key to my sanity is fast food chicken. Before you flee what appears to be another dull post about Eating Habits and Dear God, I Hope She Doesn’t Mention the Spreadsheets Again, I want to say this: If you have inexplicable mood swings, weird bouts of depression that suddenly vanish, self-esteem issues that make no logical sense - read up on blood sugar. Do it for me. And for yourself. And for co-workers who come over to ask you a question and then have to say, “Um…are you crying?”
Tuesday afternoon was the beginning of a major crash and burn. In my Low Blood Sugar Police State, I was teary and uncertain, feeling overwhelmed and like I would never be a success at anything, SNIFF, SNUFFLE, WOE, PLEASE DIRECT ME TO THE NEAREST FAINTING COUCH AND SEND PACO OVER WITH A HOT DRINK. I googled “someone to tell me what to do because the melancholy engulfs me and lo, I am too weak and distraught to make any choices for myself.” (That doesn’t work, by the way - www.heresyourfairygodmother.com just gave me an error message.) Last night, after a wretched day and a half, I realized I really wanted chicken – something I crave like a caffeine addict denied his morning espresso when I’m depressed or sick. A person truly devoted to health would’ve gone to Whole Foods for a $12 organic breast from a plump chicken fed on unicorn’s milk and living in a free-range co-op with maid service, but come on. Like that’s going to happen. I walked six blocks to Popeye’s and ordered spicy chicken strips and a biscuit. In 45 minutes, I felt like myself again. My body is apparently much smarter than I am and knew it needed the protein.
(Yes, I’ve been eating protein – not enough? - and there may be other things going on, but I’m concentrating on the most obvious first. It saves wear and tear on the stress-o-meter.)
Now I’m engaged in frantic catching up from the days I lost – parties to plan, projects to finish, email to return, extra freelance to afford the birthday presents I keep buying myself. (Yeah, I should probably stop doing that.)
For making it to the end of this post, I will reward you with a tale of Fourth of July Abandonment, Intrigue, and Corruption. This year’s second annual Fourth of July barbeque was missing an essential component: a lovely young lady who ditched her friends and family to BE ELSEWHERE. WITH A BOY. She has proven herself a traitor to God and country. And to gatherings where you spend most of your time with a badminton racquet in one hand and a margarita in the other. So her sister and I sent off a flurry of text messages calling her Judas and displaying photographic evidence of all the fun she was missing:
Yes, that’s your favorite brother-in-law with a pitcher of tequila and, yes, he’s pouring it directly into your mother’s open mouth. AREN’T YOU SORRY YOU MISSED IT NOW?
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July 9th, 2009 at 10:39 am
oh wow, that looks dangerously fun!
July 9th, 2009 at 10:47 am
Dear Moose,
Please eat more protein. We like happy Moose much better than sad Moose.
xoxox, Chris
July 9th, 2009 at 10:56 am
I think I might have a problem. Whenever I get particularly upset or randomly testy, the hubs asks “Are you hungry?” And most of the time, when I think about it, I *am* hungry. Perhaps I shall get me this book.
July 9th, 2009 at 10:59 am
I could have written about my coworkers or boyfriend being all, “Are you crying (or raging, freaking out, etc.) for no reason?”. And I hear you on the protein…
July 9th, 2009 at 11:00 am
I JUST CRACKED UP WHEN I SAW THAT PHOTO! YOU ARE JUST TOO FUNNY, BUT WHAT GREAT FUN WE HAD. MAYBE NEXT YEAR THE BRAT CHILD WILL GRACE US WITH AN APPEARANCE.
July 9th, 2009 at 11:28 am
Note to self: When the going gets rough, listen to your freaking body!
I read intrigue, jumped to the picture, and here’s what I saw…..a blacked out b-i-l, and the rest of it in shadow play….damn,if that isn’t intrigue, then what is…the fact that I went back to the beginning, and saw the picture as it was meant to be seen this time around!?!
July 9th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
I get the blood sugar drop. But it pretty much always manifests as, well, I’ll say irritability. Wicked witch of the west level irritability though. I’ve gotten pretty good at recognizing it, although someone usually suffers a flying monkey or two first. Maybe I should start keeping a pitcher of tequilla on hand for such moments. Hmm, I wonder how my boss would feel about that….
July 9th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
Hahaha! That’s an awesome pic.
Also–on the blood sugars…I’ve been doing some reading and, so far, I still haven’t been able to give up the brownies, pies and cupcakes. But I have a good mind to try it…maybe next
week,month,year, soon…xox
July 9th, 2009 at 10:27 pm
The photo is backlit to protect the identities of the innocent. Uhhhh….
July 10th, 2009 at 11:12 am
Birthday presents? Does Moose have a birthday coming up?
July 10th, 2009 at 11:19 am
Tomorrow! I will be 31. Also known as No Longer Able To Wilfully Cling To My 20s.
July 10th, 2009 at 11:25 am
Oh wow, an early bird wish for your birthday Moose. Btw, I think the 30′s are the new 20′s, so enjoy it.
July 10th, 2009 at 11:34 am
Happy day before your birthday!!! As well as an actual Happy Birthday for tomorrow.
Personally I hope, nay DEMAND, that the 30s are better than the 20s.
July 10th, 2009 at 11:35 am
Thank you so much! People keep bringing me flowers and strawberry shortcake. I like birthdays.
July 10th, 2009 at 11:58 am
I saw that someone had recommended the book “Potatoes to Prozac” (or the reverse of that…am too lazy to google, sorry), and I’m wondering if you read it. Did that help you figure out the blood sugar connection? I am fighting my way through a myriad of symptoms lately, and the three possible solutions I have found point to either hormone imbalance, hypothyroidism, or hypoglycemia. Because being a woman is awesome and makes determining what is wrong with your body oh so easy!
But, enough about me, I’m just wondering what, besides craving chicken, pointed you towards the blood sugar connection. Sorry to be nosy, but thanks!
July 10th, 2009 at 1:17 pm
Happy early birthday!! I am now 40 and swear it’s the new 30′s; so 30′s becoming the 20′s seems to follow suit. I hope that your birthday weekend is a great one!
Also – I actually was diagnosed with hypoglycemia as a child and have constant trouble keeping my blood sugar elevated. The days I do better are the days I start with an egg. The protein goes a long way to keeping my sugar stable…I know there’s probably some scientific reason, but I don’t know (or really care) what it is – I just know that the protein works (and a cold beer in the afternoons when the sugar slumps works well too).
July 11th, 2009 at 6:56 pm
HAHAAAA. The chicken breast description is…well, spot-on, sadly. (Suck it, Whole Foods!)
July 12th, 2009 at 9:29 am
Put cinnamon on your cereal in the morning…or your egg, if you so choose. I don’t do it (but probably should) but my mom swears by it. Oh, uh make sure it’s cinnamon and not chili powder.
I had a very low blood sugar day on Friday. It wasn’t a particularly great day anyway, but the skipping lunch so I could try to be ready for an afternoon meeting didn’t really help. Nor did the time spent working instead of eating matter in the end.
I hope you had a nice birthday lunch yesterday. Pizza and champagne?
I’ve been craving wontons and soy sauce for the last three days. I don’t really know…
July 13th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
Happy belated birthday, my friend! I celebrated by getting absolutely shit-faced at the Cubs game and giving my phone number out to a cab driver whose name I’m pretty sure was Adnan.
YOU ARE WELCOME.