If I Have To Think of a Title, This Post Will Take Forever and Five Minutes. So, No.
Posted by Moose on June 16th, 2009. Filed under: Uncategorized.When writing a post feels like trying to walk through my front door and slamming into a granite wall instead, it usually means I’m processing something – subconsciously unearthing some issue from the sticky depths of my psyche. An issue that needs tending, a warm blanket, and maybe a hearty dose of ipecac. This post has officially taken forever to finish. But I’ll spare you my half-baked theories. Because I care. Onward!
My Juicing Skills Are The Stuff of Legend. At Least, They Are Now
I hovered over the buffet on Saturday night like an overeager vulture, pressing everyone within four feet to acknowledge the beauty of the lemon juice in the spiked lemonade, juice I squeezed out of the lemons with my own two hands. Causing people to back carefully away from the food, because even such glorious guacamole isn’t worth saying “YES, THE LEMON JUICE IS PERFECTION IN CITRUS FORM” six times.
(It was a lovely party for a lovely couple and I feel honored to know them and everyone else in the room. If any of you are reading this, feel free to reserve judgment on me and my social skills until I invent a flux capacitor and go back in time to stop myself at one diminuitive glass of said spiked lemonade.)
Cheese Muffins That Weren’t
I tried to make cheese muffins last night, but my efforts were impeded by milk that poured out in frightening curdles and by a muffin tin held hostage in the barren arctic tundra of my freezer. My (only) muffin tin was (apparently) full of soup stock and hijacked by the icicles that grew up around it (frozen in, couldn’t wrench it out). My freezer then began wheezing like a geriatric curmudgeon in death throes. Maybe because I brutally crunched one of its favorite stalagmites.
I made cheese bread instead.
Why Mind Games Are Fun
Yesterday, I was pondering a course of action. As I realized how much thought I was devoting to Take (Mysterious Yet Entirely Innocuous) Action or Don’t, I started to annoy myself. Because I could be doing any number of things with that brain power. Like composing sonnets to fuzzy fruit. So I opted to leave it up to fate – and the well-dressed pets of Hayes Valley. I decided that if I saw a dog wearing a purple sweater in the next 24 hours, I would take said (MYEI) action. If not, I wouldn’t. And promptly forgot about the whole thing.
This morning, I saw a dog in a purple sweater! A greyhound in lavender fleece, to be exact. My decision-making strategies are obviously culled from the How To Be a Shady Telephone Psychic handbook. I have no problem with this.
Related posts:
June 16th, 2009 at 4:24 pm
cheese bread and spiked lemonade? sounds great
total sympathy for the freezer thing, similar thing happened with my old freezer, i found out kicking it really hard was not a good idea (cost the hubby $1000 for a new one)…
June 16th, 2009 at 5:31 pm
But what of the MYEI action? You can’t dangle that sort of thing out in front of us then not tell us what it is? I may need to rethink this whole “living vicariously through bloggers” theory of life.
June 16th, 2009 at 7:47 pm
Cheese bread is delicious! Especially toasted and smeared with butter.
June 16th, 2009 at 8:45 pm
Dude, don’t you live in San Fran … where ALL dogs wear purple sweaters?
Just sayin’.
June 16th, 2009 at 9:06 pm
Nicole: It finally occurred to me to turn down the temperature dial and LO! The damn thing shut up. I may get more than four hours of sleep tonight.
Karin: I suggest living vicariously through well-written movies. You get a tidy ending in less than two hours.
Manda: It’s slightly less blatant than saying “I will go to the park and IF I SEE A TREE, IT’S A SIGN.” But not much. (That said, I don’t actually see a lot of dogs in sweaters. Except for my favorite chihuahua.)
June 17th, 2009 at 4:04 am
You just cracked me up with the “YES, THE LEMON JUICE IS PERFECTION IN CITRUS FORM” I can totally imagine doing that at a party too.
And cheese bread? Yummy!
June 17th, 2009 at 11:55 am
I’ve been watching a lot of spy stuff lately (like an embarrassing amount, my only excuse is I had a cold). So I’m going to assume your MYEI involves some covert operation with codes, black boxes, shady scientists, and Russians.
I LOVE spiked lemonade drinks made with real juice, and would happily laud your juicing skills in return for such drinks.
June 17th, 2009 at 11:59 pm
A greyhound in lavender fleece? YOU DID NOT.
Truly?
June 18th, 2009 at 12:59 am
Good call that, bringing fate into the equation in the form of dogs wearing purple sweaters! No harm done, and a swift decision was finally made without too much of an effort.
About a century ago, I had to choose between peace of mind, and the prospect of sitting in front of a blank TV screen(electricity having taken a short vacation) pondering over the win-loss situation of a Steffi Graf match in progress. I decided that should a house lizard cross my path, it meant that she would win. The lizard crossed my path, and eh…..I won peace of mind!
June 18th, 2009 at 8:50 am
Teej: Truly, truly! Was trotting right up my street toward me. Next I will conjure up a beach house and a butler with a large supply of little umbrellas for the drinks he serves me.