Pulling Out the Big Guns
Posted by Moose on June 9th, 2009. Filed under: Uncategorized.Among my regrettable habits is reading Some Inspiring Blog Post and Vowing To Do What They Did For Massive Success & Maximum Fulfillment and then…not doing it. Or even remembering that I planned to do it. Yes, this is just as successful a life plan as you might imagine.
Even small projects – like, say, hanging pictures on my walls – are abandoned. Lured by the seductive come-hither glance of my flannel sheets or by a Twitter account gone unchecked for seven whole minutes, I’ll wander off – only to realize fourteen months later that my walls are still empty. (I’m sorry to report that this fourteen-month tally is unembellished.) Perhaps I was waiting for a crew of kindly elves with carpenter’s levels and an abundance of free time to swoop in and finish for me. Perhaps I convinced myself white expanses are restful, minimal, THAT IT’S A DECORATING SCHEME, DAMN IT. From where I sit on my bed at this very moment (fourteen months later), I see three suspiciously blank walls and a stack of frames gathering dust where they’ve been shoved against the wall under the hammer and nails I placed on top of them in a wildly optimistic gesture.
I’d really like to change my gestures from “charmingly optimistic, yet ultimately futile” to “done.”
Community action has always worked for me: I’m most likely to exercise when someone’s waiting for me on the corner, staring at the rain soaking their jogging shoes. I’m most likely to write if I have a deadline. I’m most likely to bake if I know appearing empty-handed will yield a rousing round of “WHERE ARE MY COOKIES, WOMAN?” If someone expects something, it’s just more likely to get done. (Which is a sad commentary on why we’ll do things for others that we won’t do for ourselves, but that’s not my point here.)
To That Point
I’m going to take one month and devote it to a project. In order to actually last the month – or even remember that I said I would do it – I need people with me. Actually, what I really need is someone to appear at my door with a shotgun to prod me back to my designated task, but I don’t think the NRA delivers.
My Project: Operation Organize Tiny Living Space (OOTLS) (yes, it’s the worst acronym ever). When my home feels good and clean and efficient, I get so much done. Things start happening for me. So I’m going for the full overhaul – clean out the physical space and the mental space follows, etc. You really don’t want the full list, but it includes divesting my closet of anything purchased in the ’90s and making sure everything else actually fits, scrubbing the mold from the part of the shower I can’t reach by standing on my toes (tossing the sponge at the ceiling and hoping something happens doesn’t work, apparently), organizing the storage closet so it’s no longer in danger of growing arms to grab the landlady’s cat and a stomach to digest it with. I will also be delving into the wilds of my computer documents. (Someone hold me.)
My Proposal: If you’re anything like me and you have some dark corners that need purging and need a little prodding to actually do it, let’s try an experiment. For this month that I’m plowing through OOTLS, I’ll send out emails* with the pep talks I’ll be giving myself (example: spend ten minutes pawing through your filing cabinet and then you can knit and listen to back episodes of This American Life) (see also: bribery), some cheerleading, and maybe some kindly whip-cracking. Whatever seems helpful. And you join me in banishing the clutter to make way for something new.
If You’re Interested: Leave a comment or email me at mooseinthekitchen (at) gmail (dot) com.
*This is tricky, because I know how aggravating those cheerful daily emails can be when you’re buried in reports because your boss left them in your inbox on his way to Aruba. (Related: SHUT UP ABOUT MY GODDAMN SINK, FLYLADY.) But it’s my best thought at the moment, given that trying to figure out a web forum would turn this into yet another project that never gets done. It will be a work-in-progress and input on what’s useful is greatly appreciated. Besides, if there’s anything “daily” about them, I’ll eat the hammer sitting on top of my unhung pictures.
June 9th, 2009 at 11:53 pm
Sounds like my version of flylady. Maybe at the end somewhere, I can invite you for tea and you won’t be afraid to enter!
June 9th, 2009 at 11:59 pm
Sounds like a plan, and the good news is that it’s a possible dream.:-) Good luck with it.
I finally cleaned out my closet last November. It felt sooooo gooooood. Mind you, that was a whole year after my first thought concerning the clutter!
~~~Procrastination is my middle name~~~
June 10th, 2009 at 12:00 am
Because I just moved with only the things I can fit into two suitcases, I’m gloriously clutter-free at the moment. But I’m tempted to join just so I can have an excuse to listen to This American Life after pretending that I’ve done some organizing work.
I actually like the OOTLS acronym. I pronounce it “oodles,” a word I much prefer on its own over pairing it with that nasty-sounding “gobs.”
Good luck, you can do it, envision your outcome, etc.
June 10th, 2009 at 1:28 am
OOTLS! Love it!
June 10th, 2009 at 1:32 am
I’m in! Funny you should post about this now – I just organized my sock drawer with cardboard dividers and wallpapered the inside of my medicine cabinet. Because plain white is BORING.
June 10th, 2009 at 5:18 am
Ooh, love this idea. I have some of those clothes from the 90′s, as well as wood I spent $200 on in the insane belief I’d someday make it into a shelf, not remembering that I’m a lazy ass bum.
Count me in!
June 10th, 2009 at 6:43 am
I’m interested! Maybe I’ll even buy a filing cabinet for my piles of paper currently on the floor.
June 10th, 2009 at 6:45 am
I’m in, Moose. I have an entire basement that needs attention. In all honesty, it needs more than attention – it needs triage.
(And, yes, step off, Flylady…)
June 10th, 2009 at 7:19 am
This is just the thing I need because I recently moved and the unpacking and settling-in process has come to a slovenly halt. Count me in!
June 10th, 2009 at 7:44 am
Count me in! It’s gotten to the point that I don’t even want to be in my house because there are toys and clutter everywhere. Ugh. This particular abode may require more than a month of decluttering, but I’ll stick with you for as long as you’re doing this!
June 10th, 2009 at 7:56 am
Yes, please! I always go into frantic cleaning mode just before someone is coming over for supper/to stay the weekend, and I always feel so pleased and at rest with my home and myself once it’s done (that is, unless the guests are standing at the door while I’m still wearing my sweats and scrubbing down the guest bathroom – the zen aspect of cleaning takes a little longer to sink in after that).
June 10th, 2009 at 9:19 am
I’m in! I’ve been trying to do something similar for the past couple of weeks, and it’d be awesome to have some moral support.
June 10th, 2009 at 9:34 am
Yes, yes, yes! My closets and drawers are taking over my life. SOMEONE with whom I live doesn’t believe in the premise “if you just shove it somewhere you can’t see it, the house is all nice and tidy!” It’s definitely time for OOTLS.
June 10th, 2009 at 10:49 am
Yay! I’m so excited. I’ll send out the first email tonight – and avoid the unbearable urge to decide sending out that email counts as the only work I have to do on OOTLES. (Must.tear.apart.closet.) (Before.it.eats.my.head.)
If anyone who threw their name in the hat doesn’t get an email tonight, please let me know. It’s all very low tech over here.
Thanks for jumping in, guys!
June 10th, 2009 at 11:08 am
As much as I’d like to join in … I MIGHT NEED ALL THOSE BABY THINGS ONE DAY. Oh and the overalls I haven’t worn in more than 5 years. And those lime green pants. They could be used creatively in a COSTUME one day, ya know! I’m not made of MONEY!
Ok fine. Email me. Crack the whip.
June 10th, 2009 at 11:22 am
Yes, please count me in – I need all the help I can get.
June 10th, 2009 at 11:47 am
Please count me in for the great OOTLS event!
June 10th, 2009 at 11:58 am
OOTLS is the best acronym ever. I love to clean and organize but I actually have the opposite problem: I need to stop cleaning and enjoy life.
So perhaps I’d better not sign up for this email. It’s possible I would quit my job so that I could organize and clean my home full-time. It’s a sickness, I know.
June 10th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
I’m so in, although I’m leaving for vacation in a few days, but when I get back? I’m gonna crack that whip louder than a nun’s ruler on a naughty kid’s desk. (Um, do they still do that?) Besides, how can I not love an acryonym like OOTLS? It reminds me of high school marching band, where our rally cry was OOTS!!, which if I remember correctly stood for Orgies On The Spot. I have no idea why (see: BAND GEEKS) but embraced it nonetheless.
June 10th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
Husband has been on my ass about cleaning out my side of the closet and my fabric stash . . . so I suppose I’m in then
June 10th, 2009 at 2:54 pm
SIGN ME UP. I am all for decluttering your life!
June 10th, 2009 at 3:01 pm
Count me in.
I painted my condo…wait, scratch that. I saved money and hired a nice man named Tim to paint my entire condo last month….wait, scratch THAT. It was three months ago.
I have yet to hang a single piece of artwork, or photograph. But I have a stack of frames with a hammer on top of them, all just waiting for my attention. That’s either a funny coincidence, or fate’s way of saying “sign up for those emails!”
Sign me up!
June 10th, 2009 at 4:07 pm
This sounds great. Just what I need, at just the right time. Please do count me in and thank you!
June 10th, 2009 at 4:29 pm
I’m in! But please don’t be quite as regular as FlyLady.
She’s relentless.
We can all do this together!
Cheers (I’ll come and help out with bottle in hand – not gun – though I can’t really show up ’cause I’ve got a family to raise and we’re a continent apart)!
We’ll see how this goes!
June 10th, 2009 at 10:34 pm
Sign me up! I have a closet full of clothes that I need to sort through. And don’t get me started on the books that I need to weed through and get rid of. Oh and the cds that I need to upload into iTunes. And the paperwork that needs to be shredded. Gahhhh! Can you send me an email now … perhaps the first one should talk about how to breathe into a brown paper lunchbag in order to prevent hyperventilating over the ginormous to-do list!!!!
June 10th, 2009 at 11:43 pm
Amazing, you truly can bend spoons with your mind. As a precursor to this proposal your mind directed me to complete a massive organizational project that involved multiple trips to the thrift store drop off, trash can filling, and listings on ebay. And.that.was.just.one.room.
Now moving on to the next room….
June 11th, 2009 at 1:38 pm
I’m in! I laughed out loud when you wrote about pictures waiting to be hung for 14 months because I can totally relate. I moved into my place over 18 months ago, and 90% of my pictures etc are STILL sitting propped up against my living room wall waiting to be hung. How time flies.
June 11th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
I’m in! Hanging pictures is not something I procrastinate about, but PLENTY of other things are. And since I just moved into a new place three weeks ago, there are a bunch of little projects (and a couple of bigger ones, like hanging shelves in the kitchen) that I ran out of steam to finish after the initial unpacking blitz. OOTLS away!
June 12th, 2009 at 4:59 am
3 years ago we painted walls. Pictures have yet to be rehung.
OOTLS has a couple of interesting word possibilities:
TOOLS
STOOL
Tools for the picture, a stool for the mold….
Congratulations!
June 12th, 2009 at 8:19 am
Sign me up for OOTLS emails! I have a bunch of things from my ” Stop Procrastinating, Lazy Girl” list that I want to get done this summer and daily reminder/guilt trip might make me more successful:)
June 12th, 2009 at 9:49 am
Sign me up too! I’m moving into a new home and I will not let that perfect, dream house become cluttered with my crap.
Also, if I should at you like that will you really appear with cookies because that’s something for me to think about if so.
June 18th, 2009 at 8:09 am
Thankfully I just moved, so I was forced to do this anyway because I didn’t want to move a bunch of crap I had been holding on to since college. It really does help and make you feel better to purge!
Especially since now I can write off my donations to GoodWill!
Good luck1
November 27th, 2009 at 10:57 pm
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