Less Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered. More Bedraggled, Besmattered, and Besmirched.
Posted by Moose on May 21st, 2009. Filed under: Uncategorized.Three people have asked me how I’m feeling this morning. Which leads me to believe I look like an old polyester sweater dragged around town by a raccoon for half the night before being left in a dumpster because the raccoon found something more alluring. Maybe that something was wearing lip gloss.
Luckily, my only hot date tonight is with my knitting, season three of How I Met Your Mother, and a leftover crawfish beignet. Speaking of my knitting! (I know how enthralling this is. I can hear you now… ”Oh, tell us more, Moose! TELL US ABOUT WHAT YOU DO WITH YARN AND TWO STICKS.” Why yes, Internet! I’d be happy to. Thanks for asking.)
I KNIT A SWEATER FOR MY NEW PHONE:
Cozy!
I don’t know why I’m so thrilled about this, or why that announcement deserves the caps lock, but thrilled I am. Because the phone is my baby. Which probably means I need a boyfriend and a dog, pronto. Or at least a new hobby. But whatever. My new phone is very well cared for. Even nurtured. In its handknit sweater.
Also makes a nice hand puppet! I call this “Portrait of Voldemort, in orange yarn.”
Anyone want a sweater for your phone? Seriously. I have lots of yarn and many episodes of How I Met Your Mother to watch.
Related posts:
May 21st, 2009 at 10:59 am
It is adorable! And I’ve heard about you and cameras, so I’m sure the iphone will appreciate a little knit padding
May 21st, 2009 at 11:09 am
I have seen many people experience the honeymoon phase of iphone ownership. So don’t feel bad.
Enjoy the How I Met Your Mother marathon. It’s…wait for it….LEGENDARY. True story.
Wait, is there any way you can knit a suit for the iphone?
May 21st, 2009 at 12:04 pm
“TELL US ABOUT WHAT YOU DO WITH YARN AND TWO STICKS.” = Classic!
May 21st, 2009 at 1:22 pm
It is VERY fetching!
And speaking of iPhones and caps lock, I can show you how to turn your caps lock key on. I can’t believe I made it 6 months without knowing how to do this.
[Here are the instructions]
The iPhone does include a Caps Lock feature — the trick is finding it so you can turn it on. Here’s how:
* Tap Settings
* Tap General
* Tap Keyboard
* Tap the Enable Caps Lock slider
The Caps Lock slider is like a toggle switch. Tapping it once enables the feature, tapping it a second time shuts it back off.
Using the Caps Lock is really simple: Quickly tap the Shift key twice. Instead of the usual glowing arrow that tells you your next letter will be upper case, the whole Shift key turns blue. Tapping the Shift key again turns Caps Lock back off.
May 21st, 2009 at 1:57 pm
Can you knit a sweater for a flip phone?
xox
May 21st, 2009 at 2:20 pm
Heidi: All I need to know is how big it is! And color preferences.
May 21st, 2009 at 2:46 pm
HIMYM is an AWESOME show. True Story.
May 21st, 2009 at 3:05 pm
I like Jennifer’s idea for a suit for your phone. Then you can overuse the saying, “Phone, SUIT UP!” Legendary indeed.
May 21st, 2009 at 3:06 pm
Stone the crows! I have been DYING for a way to enable caps lock on Sparky (my iPhone). Thanks, May! Now I can be EXPRESSIVE (read: annoying) with the greatest of ease. And Moose? Sparky is totally jealous of your phone and its handsome wardrobe.
May 21st, 2009 at 3:16 pm
Sparky can have one of his very own! What color does Sparky like?
(Sorry for replying in the comments, they aren’t coming through to my email for some reason.)
May 21st, 2009 at 4:09 pm
Ooh, how fancy! In that case, we’re partial to red. (Brings color to his alabaster complexion.). Besides, the weather here in Denver dropped from the 90′s yesterday to mid-50′s today, so a sweater is quite apropos. Thanks!
May 21st, 2009 at 6:12 pm
i want one in every color! I totally can’t knit. SO, a phone cozy is quite something in my eyes. (or a puppet)
May 21st, 2009 at 7:56 pm
Oooh, are you seriously offering to make me one? Because I (would love one! and) have cute yarn too, but I can’t knit ANYTHING (yet). I shall prevail! Or fail. But hopefully prevail!
May 21st, 2009 at 8:44 pm
I’m knitting them as we speak! Well, we’re not speaking. But you take my point.
May 22nd, 2009 at 7:33 am
I have to say that I’m amused no end to envision your iphone (one of man’s greatest modern accomplishments) all snug in its yarn cozy (from a craft that was practiced at least pre-Williamsburg (and sorry for the lack of accuracy in terms of when knitting started. I’m too lazy to check Wikipedia, and I do know that knitting existed in the Williamsburg era because of a rad yarn-making demonstration I saw there once)). Anyhoo. It’s kind the inverse of a caveman having a car bra for his wheel.
May 22nd, 2009 at 9:34 am
Apparently I don’t love my phone very much!! I have never knitted it a sweater!!
May 22nd, 2009 at 9:38 am
Robin: You are my kind of people. I love mental machinations like connecting Colonial Williamsburg to current technological toys. Good stuff.
Manda: There are so many ways to show your phone you love it. Maybe just caress it and offer it some cheese.
(Yeah, I’m getting a little weird about my phone. HELLO, PROJECTION!)
May 22nd, 2009 at 2:32 pm
My new Kindle could use a sweater! He’s already bone-white from the cold!
I could tell you what I made once with yarn and two sticks, but I don’t think this is that sort of blog.
Update: I have just been informed that this could be taken the wrong way. To clear the air, I made a hammock. A very small hammock. For a mouse. His name was Timothy.
SEE? NOT WHAT YOU WERE EXPECTING, EH INTERNET?
May 22nd, 2009 at 4:23 pm
I need a phone sweater. Absolutely. I don’t have any sort of cover – no wetsuit, no rubber, no nuthin. Please feel free to knit one for me.
@Hobo It was not what I was expecting, but even more I want to know if Timothy the mouse used the hammock. Did he?
May 22nd, 2009 at 4:37 pm
Gas Ho: Dear god! Don’t keep us in suspense! WHAT HAPPENED TO TIMOTHY THE MOUSE?
May 22nd, 2009 at 5:00 pm
Props for “How I Met Your Mother” that show is awESOMe! Your writing makes me laugh
May 22nd, 2009 at 6:29 pm
Of course he used the hammock! He carried little bits of bedding up there and made a nest and slept there.
Adorableness, thy name was Timothy.
My rat (Biscuit) is a bit larger, so she’s actually using a ferret hammock.
Moral of the story: EVERYBODY LOVES HAMMOCKS!
May 23rd, 2009 at 10:34 am
@Gasoline hobo: Amen.
May 24th, 2009 at 2:56 am
How I Met Your Mother is a very worthy hot date
Love it!
PS: the choc chip biscuit in your header is making me crave some somethin’ chronic – looks delish!
May 25th, 2009 at 6:39 am
You are too funny and lovely. And a very good phone mom!
May 26th, 2009 at 6:59 am
Phone jackets coming soon! I’m knitting my way through the list, and will email you all shortly about pertinent information. (Like how big is a Kindle, Gas Ho? I haven’t reached that level of technological capability yet. My books are still made of paper.)
Please note: “Shortly” is a term I use with some freedom.