Fine
Posted by Moose on May 15th, 2009. Filed under: Friends.The problem with dating in San Francisco is that it’s a small city. Only 49 square miles. It takes a mere 20 minutes to get from one end to the other. (Unless you’re on MUNI, in which case it can take anywhere from half an hour to three days.) So every time you stop seeing someone, there’s yet another neighborhood you have to avoid. For a week, a month, a year – depending on the nature of the relationship, the length of time involved, and the severity of the breakup.
So when your friends make plans without giving proper consideration to your current geographical limitations, there can be some argument.
“I don’t care what neighborhood you refuse to visit this month, that’s where we’re going and you’re coming with us.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
[Insert balance of lengthy standoff.]
[Insert final ringing "Hell to the no."]
[Insert stern silence.]
[Insert grudging acceptance of lot.]
“Maybe. But I’m not taking the bus. I’m taking a cab.”
“I don’t care if you throw a saddle on a pterodactyl and fly. You’re coming with us.”
May 15th, 2009 at 3:48 pm
No one ever believes me when I tell them how small SF is. (The Bay to Breakers is 7 miles FOR A REASON.) But, really, I’d like to know who said “I don’t care if you throw a saddle on a pterodactyl” because they’re my new favorite person on earth.
May 15th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
Is it wrong that reminds me of that scene in When Harry Met Sally where she tells him he’s going to have to move to New Jersey because he’s slept with all the women in New York?
Maybe you should start dating some Sacramento hotties! Just saying…
May 15th, 2009 at 4:07 pm
Note: This was actually an imaginary conversation. I was considering bailing on tonight’s plans like some particularly cowardly form of rodent, until I just decided to have the argument in my head and save us all the time.
May 15th, 2009 at 4:21 pm
Or people try to coax you to the BFE ‘burbs with promises of cheese and wine. Shame on those heartless so-called friends. Really.
May 15th, 2009 at 6:49 pm
Terrible people, your friends, trying to get you out of the house and away from any brooding that may or may not be going on
May 16th, 2009 at 11:25 am
So, you went? Were there boys?
These are important questions.
May 17th, 2009 at 1:26 pm
That’s why I’ve just stopped dating. I was concerned I wouldn’t be able to leave my house.
May 17th, 2009 at 5:41 pm
Gawd. DC is the same. I have a friend who hasn’t been to one area of town in eight years. That’s a relatively large child. Le sigh.
May 17th, 2009 at 6:37 pm
Oh man, I thought that I was alone in my certain-neighborhoods-aversion thing. Lower Nob Hill was my hood to avoid; I had one sighting and that was that!
“Hell to the no” and the pterodactyl remark are classic, even if it was a internal-only conversation.
Best of luck getting comfortably back into the areas that you’re avoiding. It does suck to have to balance the desire to avoid triggers against the desire not to be confined.
And, again, you speak what’s in other people’s heads, and you do it with panache.
May 18th, 2009 at 9:13 am
This post is awesome–I pink puffy heart it!
xox
May 18th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
I don’t think I knew how tiny SF was. I’ve only been there once, so I’m not expert, obviously.