He’s Still Offended
Posted by Moose on April 13th, 2009. Filed under: Uncategorized.Walking down the hall on some mostly pointless errand - not quite pointless enough to avoid doing it, unfortunately - I passed a cube o’ plotters. We’re the party division at this grand institution and these parties are legendary. The upcoming gala is entitled “It’s April 15 and Your Taxes Are Done So Here, Have a Bagel With Jaunty Pink Salmon.” Everyone will be celebrating with their carbs and lox, everyone except me because I WON’T have finished my taxes, I’ll have filed for an extension instead. One of my charming consistencies is the ability to find ever-creative ways to procrastinate on important tasks.
Sucked into the conversation on the valid basis that I may have forgotten it was my job to buy the cream cheese, I heard a blatantly sexist decree:
“I told Cliff he was lucky someone was going shopping with him, because women are natural-born shoppers.”
Cliff sat in his well-appointed cubicle and looked surly.
“I don’t know,” I said. “Look at that shirt. Look at that matching tie. Look at those pinstriped pants.”
Everyone dutifully looked, everyone except Cliff, who presumably knew what he was wearing and so simply sat back and looked smug.
“Now look at me. Cliff’s obviously a much better shopper than I am.” I paused for dramatic effect. ”I’m wearing a hoodie, for god’s sake.”
Two seconds later, I realized I’d turned my own wardrobe into the sacrificial lamb for his vindication. And deservedly so: If it’s not a cartoon t-shirt, a pair of ratty jeans, or a hooded sweatshirt, I want nothing to do with it. Mostly acceptable when I was 22, this is growing far less socially permissible now that I’m 30.
As I walked away, picking at the hole in the shoulder of my purple hoodie, I decided I should learn to dress my age. Does any one know what that entails? I’m a bit stumped. Any of you clever shoppers – male or female – please feel free to offer Adult Wardrobe Recommendations. I desperately need them.
I also need an accountant and six tubs of cream cheese.
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April 13th, 2009 at 5:07 pm
Um, DUDE. Call Kristin. But if you don’t want end up with a wardrobe full of only skirts and dresses, make sure you tell her that. (Then please ship me all of the skirts and dresses she had picked out for you? Please?)
Until she gets back from wherever she undoubtedly is, enjoy your cartoon tees and hoodies. This is one of my current faves.
April 13th, 2009 at 6:18 pm
I’m at about that point, too. Nice pants? A good shirt? Accessories? Eh. Whatever.
April 13th, 2009 at 7:26 pm
Hahaha, love Teej’s comment. Aaaaaand I happen to know that you will happen to be in Santa Cruz this weekend with a girl who happens to have a knack for spending money. Pick her, pick her!
April 13th, 2009 at 8:22 pm
I had a head of steam last year to dress “appropriately”, but it only lasted about a month. Unless you have gaping holes in your clothes or terribly unmatched patterns, nobody notices or appreciates accessories or fashion except other women. And really, if I cared what anyone thought, it definitely wouldn’t be women. I’m kind of a miser too.
I have a few pairs of jeans, shorts, skirts, and dress pants that fit me well. I paid more for them when necessary, because it’s a lot harder to make the ol’ bottom half look okay, and I’m willing to pay for it to. But Ann Taylor has semi-annual sales where you can get dress pants for $50, so bargains can still be found. To fill in the gaps and add some interest, a couple times a year I go to one of those giganto outlet malls, the ones that have everything (banana republic, jcrew, gap, ann taylor loft, ann taylor, nike, REI, etc. etc.) all in one place, AND at bargain prices!
April 13th, 2009 at 8:54 pm
I am no help. I spend my days working at home in yoga pants and a hoodie..
April 13th, 2009 at 10:03 pm
I can help you on the accountant front: up until I moved back to LA, I worked for a tax/accounting firm in the Castro that was seriously the best place ever (we played musicals on the dvd player in the lobby all day and the office even had a mascot in the shape of the cutest little chihuahua mix named Max…also there was an American Idol betting pool). Anyway! WEL Tax on Market St. Tell Bill (the owner/most awesome boss ever) that Georgia says hello!
As for the style situation, I pride myself on being fashionable and incredibly cheap, so if you ever come to LA for a visit, I’d happily take you on a shopping excursion.
April 13th, 2009 at 10:09 pm
good heavens, I’ve no idea. My current fashion statement is Yoga Chic. I haven’t gotten enough cool yoga-type clothes yet though, so it’s really more “Off to the gym?” at the moment.
April 14th, 2009 at 5:01 am
The first and last word in fashion: Crocs. Especially those really swanky ones with leather that are supposed to look like wingtips.
April 14th, 2009 at 5:16 am
Crocs aside, I find that Gama-Go fulfills most of my hoodie needs. This is the jewel of my hoodie collection: http://www.presentsofmind.tv/products/dirty-bird-crow-hoodie
April 14th, 2009 at 6:34 am
My friend and I – we’re both about the same age, mid-30s – were having this conversation about dressing one’s age. Her comment summed it up well: “It’s like one day, all of a sudden, those Gap clothes just don’t work for Work anymore. But what else is there? Chico’s? God, I’m not ready to make that step, yet.”
And as I type this, I’m wearing a hoodie, jeans, and Converse All-Stars. (I’ve been unemployed since September. My fashion sense is all but gone at this point.)
April 14th, 2009 at 10:05 am
I’m not sure I’ve really dealt with this situation myself, but I have two suggestions: sale section at Anthropologie and jersey dresses. Get a couple cute shirts at Anthro to throw on with the jeans and a couple dresses and you are done.
And since it sounds like you’ll be in Santa Cruz I’ve had good luck at the Crossroads on Pacific.
I actually kind of like doing my taxes. But it’s because I get money back and my taxes are ridiculously simple. The year I had to pay money I felt differently.
April 14th, 2009 at 10:12 am
ha! I’m currently wearing an Aventura hoodie, Levis and sneakers.
April 14th, 2009 at 12:53 pm
i’m a big fan of dressing like a grown up to go to work…and dressing like i’m 20 on the weekends. runners, hoodies and jeans.
anthropologie. yes. they have some good grown up clothes that won’t make you look geriatric.
April 14th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
I started dressing like a grownup on accident, when jeans spontaneously started always being too long even though I hadn’t shrunk any. I hate hemmed jeans, so I bought a bunch of simple dresses at, like, american apparel, H&M, and the Nordstrom junior’s section, replaced most of my hoodies with cardigans, and bought a billion colors of tights.
Turns out, dresses are more comfortable anyway, and they show off my awesome shoes better. Tshirts and hoodies still go with my skirts, and it all works for brunch or work or playing catch.
April 14th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
Ditto the unemployedness ruining what little style I had.
I wear jeans or yoga pants (but don’t do yoga) 98% of the time. A skirt or dress those remaining 2%, but only with tights. http://www.welovecolors.com has awesome tights in crazeee bright colors – and normal colors, too.
I have found that the right cut and color of jeans can make a world of difference in how grungy or classy I look. Toss in the right shoe or the right accessory and even jeans and a t-shirt look fab.
April 14th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
Good luck! That’s what I have sisters for. Because I suck at the wardrobe department…
April 15th, 2009 at 2:49 pm
A few points.
1) The sacrifice was for feminism, not the metro
2) Women ARE natural shoppers – it’s evolutionary. Men are hunters, women are gatherers. Duh.
3) Don’t ask for my fashion advice. Leah can tell you, if you let me dress a hot woman, she ends up looking like a $10 whore. From my perspective that’s great, but I don’t think that’s what you’re looking for right now.
-Simon.
April 16th, 2009 at 10:00 am
I’m all about being able to mix and match clothing (more bang for the buck!) So I have a closetful of pants and skirts in basic colors– black, navy blue, brown– and tops with various patterns and colors. As someone who is not terribly efficient in the mornings, I appreciate the ability to choose a pair of pants not yet worn that week, choose a shirt that seems like it goes with the pants, choose the shoes that go with those pants and get on with my day.
April 16th, 2009 at 10:47 am
See, I think I know what to wear to look like an adult. Know being the key word. Because I don’t actually dress that way most of the time. I would rather be in sweatpants and hoodies all the time.
Also, I don’t mind shopping, I would just rather spend my money on better things. Like booze.
April 16th, 2009 at 1:29 pm
Wow. Sometimes I think we are connected. I’ve been thinking about how, even though I don’t really have to, I’d like to up my style since, really, what better time to do it than when you are starting a new job and no one knows what a slob you can be? (Except they totally do, so that point’s kind of moot.) But it becomes tricky when new job entails rockpooling and then heading to a forum to network with important people, like from government agencies and stuff. Polka dot wellies and a suit, baby! (Okay, well not really. I went home and changed in between!)