In Which I Only Swear Twice. I Consider That a Win.
Posted by Moose on March 12th, 2009. Filed under: My brain needs a drink.It’s important to watch yourself fail. We all fall off the wagon, some of us rolling off like a seasick whale and sending shock waves through the surrounding country side, but the trick is to chase that goddamn wagon down and hurl yourself back onto it. Instead of lying in a ditch until your wagon is in Beijing.
This is mighty convenient, as my week has been an exercise in failure. Wagon chasing will commence on Monday. So without further ado, here are things I HAVEN’T failed at this week:
- Showering: My hygiene is downright startling. My hair is shiny, my hangnails are unobtrusive, I even flossed. Once.
- Running: I ran for 20 minutes on Tuesday evening and goddamnit that counts.
- Eating vegetables: I think the tally is heading toward six. Six vegetables this week, people. I deserve a medal.
- Reading comprehension: Wait, no. Never mind. The SATs want their score back.
- Supporting Girl Scouts in worthwhile endeavors: Enough said.
How was your week? Did you fail, or did you soar through your commitments with gazelle-like grace, gathering sepia-toned memories worthy of deathbed recall along the way?
March 12th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
Hmm, well I’ve yet to have a breakdown in my severely stressed-out state. I consider that a WIN! Also, I was close enough to Ellen that I could kiss her. Double points to me.
March 12th, 2009 at 1:37 pm
There are pro’s and con’s to each step of my week:
CON: my students really bombed a test and a paper, meaning I may have not taught so well
PRO: I didn’t hurt any of them while relaying that message and actually had a good talk with them about sucking less.
CON: woke up, weighed myself and saw the biggest number ever and wanted to die.
PRO: FINALLY motivated to get back to the gym.
So, no gazelle here. More like an elephant. But, still trying to see the good here!
March 12th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
well, i’ve been sick all week and spent most of my awake time watching reruns of jon and kate plus eight and perusing the lives of past classmates on facebook. FAIL!
March 12th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
Eh. I did a little of both. I’ve had an utter failure of focus this week (my allergies have made my brain feel like someone has stuffed it full of the wooliest of wool). And when I get home tonight, I need to rip out literally thousands of stitches from the sweater I started knitting a few days ago because I’m dumb and a) read the charts wrong and b)fucked the edges all up, and they won’t be hidden by a seam. And yesterday morning, I totally could NOT get my ass out of bed for the gym.
BUT, despite my wooly brain, I have mostly finished what I needed to at work this week. And I have a date (!) tomorrow night, with a boy who seems smart and funny and like he’s doing a lot more than just taking up space in the world. And another maybe-date with a doctor (!!) next week. Can you hear my mom’s heart going pitter patter at the thought of a doctor in the family?
March 12th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
That first paragraph was one of the best things I’ve ever read.
This is one of those weeks that I won’t know if it was a win or a fail for a few more days. I’ll have to get back to you on that.
March 12th, 2009 at 2:01 pm
…..I failed at basic hygiene. No heat and no hot water in my apartment means that hygiene has taken second place to staying warm.
Wow…that is sad and depressing to actually type out on the Internets.
xox
March 12th, 2009 at 2:02 pm
So this week is finals week (stupid quarter system, whoever came up with that is a lifelong FAIL) but I have only cried ONCE. That is a win. Also, I have showered every day, which is more than I can say for some of my scuzzy library compatriots. Win!
March 12th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
That last line is so good … must remember it.
I … felt like I failed. Boy is a screaming mess (verdict: reflux) and the dishes have gone undone and don’t even BRING UP the laundry, but I’m home with my boy and I got to kiss him 197 times in the last week alone and that, my friend, makes it a totally successful week.
(I too have done my part for Girl Scouts, as well.)
March 12th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
Considering that this is my BIRTHDAY WEEK, everything I didn’t do this week doesn’t count as failure, right? RIGHT?
March 12th, 2009 at 2:46 pm
What I’m realizing as I read these comments is that things I would call failure in my life are things I would never, ever label failure for anyone else. Hello, blatant double standard! Those do tend to sneak up on a person, don’t they?
March 12th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
WIN: Finished a bunch of work. Or a little bit of work.
FAIL: Am behind on the rest of my work, can’t find Girl Scout cookies anywhere.
Girl Scouts may be crying, somewhere. Because of me.
March 12th, 2009 at 7:30 pm
This week has been AWESOME. Matthew leaves tomorrow for two days, so I am preparing for a big, fat, FAIL.
March 13th, 2009 at 7:59 am
Under the catagory of gazelle, soaring like a, I put my triumphant return to the world of running. And using my wicked cooking skillz for once and creating some great dinners, therefore saving money.
Under the epic fail catagory is sobbing in the restroom at work due to the blazing hatred I feel for my job, topped only by knowing I can’t quit because my husband just got laid off.
You win some, you lose some, right?
March 13th, 2009 at 1:48 pm
I’ll just say this, the wagon totally made it all the way to Beijing during the last few weeks, but now I can make it out on the horizon. Progress.
March 13th, 2009 at 3:46 pm
You know what, I had a mega mega failure in one area of my life.
But the rest went well. My hygiene is spectacular, too. I was going to go home and wallow tonight, but instead I think I’ll just brush my teeth and go “HAH! LOOK AT THAT, GODS OF FAILURE, I SPITE THEE!”
Or sleep. You know. Whatever.
March 15th, 2009 at 5:37 pm
I drank too much wine one night and I didn’t keep up with the laundry so it took me 3 hours to fold and put it away yesterday…since I did manage to succeed in at least running it through the wash and drier all week. (9 loads of it)
March 15th, 2009 at 9:07 pm
I’m too tired from the new job to sort the bad and the good.
March 16th, 2009 at 4:49 pm
I achieved the goals but at what expense? What expense, indeed?
I surprised myself by working overtime, covered for the boss and completed all my tasks. What is the reward? A killer respiratory infection that has me in bed. Therefore, I’ll have to work just as hard when I return to work to make-up for the day(s) I missed!
I’m thinking meeting a goal is half-way is the way to go — a stop in a park to watch puppy chows would be more appreciated upon my deathbed.
March 17th, 2009 at 6:22 pm
I’ve always agreed with the sentiment that we learn more from our failures than our triumphs.
As for my failing of late, well, I have been a TERRIBLE blog friend lately, but I’m doing my best to remedy that. (Exhibit A: HIIIII!)