Just Me and The Day
Posted by Moose on March 8th, 2009. Filed under: Daily.Hello, Internet! It’s 8:56 on Sunday night and you are the first person (entity? collective? amorphous world presence?) I’ve spoken to all day. Except for the nice woman who gave me my coffee, but I don’t think “Vanilla latte, please” and “Thank you” are the stuff of exuberant and inspiring discourse.
January and February have been crazy busy and so far March is following that fine example. I couldn’t remember the last time I had a day entirely to myself, so this weekend I decided to pack Saturday full and protect Sunday with a Gollum-like devotion, stroking the gloriously empty calendar page with the pads of my fingertips and whispering, “Preeecioooussss….”
When I mentioned how jealously I was guarding my Sunday, I got this reply: “Isn’t that great? Just you and the day.” It is great, by gum. And you know what I did with it? I cleaned my apartment. Yes, I did. I am one of the great adventurers of our time. But I also ate a grilled cheese sandwich under the blooming cherry trees in the backyard, walked in the sunshine to buy clementines and dark chocolate, and hiked to my favorite spot. As I wandered around under the cloudless blue sky, I’d occasionally say to myself, “Just me and the day.” And I’d smile.
If anyone heard my mutterings as they passed me on the street, I’m sure they mentally replied, “Just you, the day, and a few lingering psychoses,” but I’m feeling quite healthy, thank you. All the more so because I’ve had some time to myself. Mental space can’t be underestimated. A few years back, we had a spate of various house guests for a solid six weeks and by week five, day six, I was a gibbering mess. I found myself sobbing on the sofa, wondering why life felt so bleak and who had finished the last of the coffee beans, sweet merciful Jesus. So I grabbed a few things, called a bed and breakfast in Half Moon Bay, and drove down the coast like a fugitive fleeing the scene of a crime. Which I kind of was. It’s humiliating when your boyfriend’s stepmother finds you bawling into a couch cushion for no apparent reason.
I’m not really the type to flip out and run shrieking to the nearest hotel, but this was probably the best thing I could have done for myself. It was frivolous maybe, to go to a bed and breakfast and eat sushi when money wasn’t terribly abundant, but I bought myself some peace and quiet when I really, truly needed it. I still consider it some of the best money I’ve ever spent. Turns out you can buy sanity. All it takes is Visa and a horrified glance at a sofa cushion covered in snot.
My mother is a very social person – she’s always having guests, going places with friends, and wondering how she can fit four visits into a Tuesday afternoon instead of a highly insufficient three. My father lives miles down a dirt road in the Santa Cruz mountains, a road that didn’t even have telephone service when he moved in. I seem to balance precariously between the two, veering between rabidly social and downright hermit-esque. I’ve been known to go weeks without any significant social interaction, barely noticing that I was two rifles and a pit bull away from starting my own compound. I think that was when I read the complete works of Jane Austen, in between solitary trips to the British Museum and quests for more Cadbury Dairy Milks. I’ve since learned a better balance, one that doesn’t require hotel reservations or the ability to avoid shooting off my big toe with a double-barreled Winchester.
Sometimes all you need is a blank space on the calendar and few over-the-hill bananas. Now I have to excuse myself. It’s time to bake some banana bread. You can have some – as long as you eat it very, very quietly.
March 8th, 2009 at 9:57 pm
Hello? (peers around corner) I don’t really want to intrude between you and the day, but in that very real (and yet, based entirely on someone I’ve never actually met) sense, I totally understand where you’re coming from. Sometimes a person just needs to recharge, and can only accomplish the feat in solitude.
And of course, sometimes a person just needs to bake banana bread, which, oddly enough, I attempted tonight as well, but I failed, due to a conspicuous lack of eggs. Sometimes I suck. Share a slice?
March 8th, 2009 at 9:59 pm
I have not had a “just me and the day” day in years. I love my husband and daughter and more often than not can spend hours and days and even weeks in their presence and be perfectly comfortable, as long as no one else is around, but…I envy you your day alone. It sounds like it was delightful. I am glad you appreciate it.
March 8th, 2009 at 10:00 pm
Sweet Jeebus. Sorry about the shotgun blast of commas in the above sentence. Way to proofread, self!
March 8th, 2009 at 11:55 pm
I love you. That is all. And I’m glad you’re loving yourself more than ever and spending time with the most important person in your life (YOU).
March 9th, 2009 at 12:48 am
Sounds like you had a lovely day.
“barely noticing that I was two rifles and a pit bull away from starting my own compound.” Brilliant line! See, this is why you ARE a writer!
Oh, and blossoming cherry trees sounds rather lovely. We’re getting more snow here in Finland today.
March 9th, 2009 at 7:26 am
I have those moments when I just need to get away and have silence and not have to worry about interaction or “putting it on” for anyone. It’s so nice to have a day to just listen to yourself.
March 9th, 2009 at 7:32 am
Good for you! I actually did the same thing this weekend — set it aside to just do “me” stuff, and it was LOVELY. (Though I did break down and have a friend over for dinner last night, after realizing that I had accidentally made enough dinner to feed about 8 starving teenagers. I didn’t want to have to eat nothing but spring chicken salad with tarragon pesto for the next 10 days!)
March 9th, 2009 at 7:38 am
i absolutely get it. writing this in lower case so you can tell i’m whispering…
March 9th, 2009 at 7:40 am
There is nothing better than some “me-time”… I get that much too rarely. I am glad you could enjoy yours!
March 9th, 2009 at 8:37 am
congratulations – sounds like a perfect day (even having the side effect of a freshly cleaned space). cheers to the gifts we give ourselves…
ab
March 9th, 2009 at 8:47 am
“Just me and the day.” What a great expression!!! I love those times too, you know. It’s just that when I tell you about what’s been happening in my life, I tend to tell you about my social activities. I don’t have your incredible talent for making “Just me and the day” sound so enticing. If I did, you’d hear more about those days when I just putter or read or garden or listen to a symphony or sit in the backyard and watch the flowering plum start to bud and the birds fighting over the bird feeder and the alpha squirrel chasing the other squirrels away from the seeds scattered underneath, or all of the above. I know you were looking forward to “your day.” I’m happy that it was so wonderful for you AND that you wrote this post.
March 9th, 2009 at 9:52 am
Alone time can be AH-MAY-ZING, and for a long time I always felt like a dork that I wanted to be alone, but it makes you a better person when you do interact with others.
PS — where did you stay in Half Moon Bay? The boyfriend and I will be there for a day and I’m trying to find a fun place to stay the night — would love the recommendation (you know, assuming it was recommendable…haha)
March 9th, 2009 at 9:55 am
Oh yeah. I start to go TOTALLY bonkers is I don’t get time alone. And grumpy bonkers, not fun bonkers.
March 9th, 2009 at 10:10 am
would love to have to day of just me and the day. seriously. i don’t know how long it’s been.
also? really would like a grilled cheese sandwich.
and some banana bread.
March 9th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
It sounds like a PERFECT day. Can I order one for myself?
I come across as a VERY social person (And I am, I guess), but I also need alone time. It’s either that or I start throwing things.
And you think I’m kidding.
March 9th, 2009 at 3:21 pm
When I read this, I felt like a girl on a crash diet watching her coworkers eat chocolate birthday cake.
THIS SOUNDS INCREDIBLE.
And I think we’re a lot alike in this respect. I hang out, hang out, hang out–then I freak out and become a hermit for a few days to recover.
March 9th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
I am the exact same way in that I need more alone time than most people. It doesn’t help, though, that I work from home. It sounds like you had a perfect day though.
March 9th, 2009 at 6:23 pm
I totally understand this need. And it literally is a need for me…even if it’s just 2 hours at a coffee shop, blissfully alone. I vacationed alone a few times, and those vacations were among the most enjoyable. While sometimes I feel like a hermit, a friend who is very social told me she thinks it takes a certain type of confidence to just go alone and do your own thing. I kinda like thinking about it that way.