Where Do I Need To Put a Mirror To Get a Million Dollars and a Shetland Pony?

Posted by Moose on February 6th, 2009. Filed under: My Brain Needs a Drink.

Last week I swore off men and vowed to hunker down with my collected works of Shakespeare and the yellow hat I’ve been knitting since December, until the wind changed or the crops rotated or some damn thing. I don’t know. I just knew I was done. This week I learned you should never make grand pronouncements in a public forum, lest you’re required to backtrack frantically.

Yes, there’s a distinct tinge of mutton in the air.

Also receiving a tick in the box of Life Lessons Learned: When Jemima gives advice, TAKE IT. I don’t care if she tells you to belly flop off the Golden Gate Bridge or simmer your old plastic yoga mat in a vat of chicken broth and eat it for dinner, do it anyway. Obviously there’s some master plan at work. She’s been telling me for months to put a mirror next to my bed – something about feng shui and attracting…what? Sex? Good ju-ju? New pillows because the ones I’ve had since freshman year of college are looking decidedly thin in the haunch? I nodded and smiled and thought of the rabbit-y guy in some movie I watched once (excellent reference, Moose, well cited!) who flapped his hands at a row of cubicles and said, “We need some serious feng shui in here; all the desks are, like, facing evil,” but I never did anything about it. Until a week ago, when I found a little pocket mirror in my closet. I was about to toss it in my Bound for Goodwill box, when I remembered her urging, turned on my heel and propped it on the ledge beside my bed instead.

Hot damn if that thing didn’t work.

Moral of the Story

1) Listen to Jemima when she makes suggestions involving mirrors. (And sweet potato biscuits, but that’s for another day.)

2) Feng shui works, yo.

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11 Responses to Where Do I Need To Put a Mirror To Get a Million Dollars and a Shetland Pony?

  1. suz

    Oh, you torture us! More information, please!

    And I am all about the feng shui too. I had to put my foot down when furnishing my newly-built office. I could NOT agree to have my back to the door although that was the otherwise, allegedly, “best” furniture placement. Citing feng shui didn’t exactly increase my credibility around here! But, I prevailed (it IS my office, after all) and have yet to lose a case, so HMM..is an “I told you so” in order? :)

  2. jennifer in sf

    All it took was a pocket mirror? Why didn’t anyone tell me about this? I know where I’m moving all my mirrors when I get home.

  3. Kerri Anne

    I really don’t know too much about feng shui, but my desk at work is immaculately organized and has just the right amount of green in it, and I seriously enjoy sitting there all day every day. I’m a big personal space gal; I need mine to be organized in such a way that I can breathe and feel creative.

  4. Jemima

    Thank God you didn’t go with a full length mirror! Imagine the possibilities!

  5. Julie

    duly noted, madam! and ooh, sounds like congrats and a squee might be in order…

  6. Camels & Chocolate

    Haaaaa, I know! I know!

  7. Amanda

    I CAN HAS DETAILZ?

  8. Georgia

    So, precisely how close does the mirror need to be to ones bed??? Details, lady! Some of your fellow bloggers could use a little action.

  9. chrisc

    Ooh, I think I need to try that mirror thing . . .

  10. movin' down the road

    HOT DAMN! I’ve had a mirror here near my bed for quite a while now, it seems it has been doing something!

  11. Moose

    Georgia: The mirror is tiny – just a little hand mirror – and it’s on the wall about two inches above the bed. I will never doubt feng shui again.

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