Application for “Most Exciting Person Ever” Is In the Mail
Posted by Moose on November 11th, 2008. Filed under: Uncategorized.Words you want to hear when preparing to house-sit: “I hope you like gingerbread cake with cream cheese frosting…There’s going to be a lot in the fridge when you come over.”
Oh, don’t you worry. I’ll take good care of the gingerbread cake. While forgetting why I’m there in the first place, forcing a small, tragic dog to jump up and down, waggling his ears wildly in hopes of capturing my attention. “Hey, lady! Lady! Lady who’s supposed to be taking care of me! Get your head out of that cake, lady! BUSTER’S HUNGRY TOO, YOU KNOW.”
Sorry, Buster. None for you.
None for me either, because I made this macaroni and cheese a month ago. Using twice as much cheese as the recipe calls for. Sometimes I’m rather inspired, and I say it myself. Like when Miguel de Cervantes thought, “Hey! How about PROSE!” Or Pollock said, “Hey! Let’s try PAINT SPLOSHES!” Quite similar to when I declared, “Hey! MORE CHEESE!” Truly a genius for our time.
When will someone create the technology necessary to turn a PICTURE of macaroni and cheese into ACTUAL macaroni and cheese? The kind that I could eat with my fork? A fork I could have ready and waiting in under three seconds. We can send monkeys to the moon but can’t make a pan of cheesy pasta goodness appear magically before me? I feel a bit cheated by the 21st century.
(This pathetic display sponsored by Bloggers Who Really Shouldn’t Post While Waiting Hungrily For Dinner To Finish Cooking Already Anonymous.)
I don’t cook very often any more – it’s less satisfying to cook for one and I’m a little lazy about inviting friends over for festive artery clogging. But I’m making spicy tomato and fennel soup tonight and if that doesn’t thrill you to your very core, let me tell you about the hat I’m knitting. It’s a hat! I am knitting it! ALERT THE PRESS.
Speaking of pointless yet enjoyable creation, one accomplishment I’m rather proud of is my haiku about a kiwi. It’s a dazzling tribute to this under-appreciated fuzzy brown fruit and I CAN’T FIND IT. My desolation over the loss of my kiwi haiku suggests that I don’t have enough to do. Or maybe it suggests that my contribution to the poetry world will have to remain at its pinnacle with Fred, Thanksgiving Turkey on the Lam.
Meter-challenged poems about tasty, tasty turkeys are apparently what happens when I’m not allowed in the kitchen on Thanksgiving morning. So it’s probably good that I’m making tomato soup right now. KEEPS ME OUT OF FURTHER MISCHIEF.
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November 11th, 2008 at 10:32 pm
Um, could you save some of that gingerbread cake until Nov. 23??? Because that would be AWESOME.
November 12th, 2008 at 12:08 am
I’m having a similar single-girl problem about not wanting to cook for one. It also involves attempting and failing to not eat every meal in front of my laptop. I bought my very first dining room table and chairs almost a month ago, and the only time I’ve sat at is was the night I got it, to make sure the chairs were comfy. They are.
That mac and cheese looks gooooood.
November 12th, 2008 at 7:56 am
what’s your macaroni and cheese recipe? I sort of collect them and try them out and make constant comparisons, because that is how I roll. NO EASY-MAC FOR ME. I am a connoisseur. Yes.
I always find myself more inspired to cook when there are other people around, too.
November 12th, 2008 at 8:27 am
My secret macaroni and cheese weapon is adding a block of cream cheese in addition to whatever other cheese you’re using. Oh. man.
Also, a slightly more virtuous (but not really – you don’t decrease the cheese at all) version that’s gotten rave reviews from anyone I like enough to share with involves mixing in roasted, pureed butternut squash.
Do we get to see the hat?
November 12th, 2008 at 10:46 am
Ok. Now I want macaroni and cheese and it’s only 9:30am! Where is the matter compiler when I need it? Those scientists need to get cracking.
November 12th, 2008 at 11:01 am
Instantly transforming Mac N Cheese from photo to reality would be awesome! Like living with the Jetsons.
That picture makes me want to make some when I get home (which is the perfect since the Bay Area has suddenly gotten cooler lately).
Another cheesy carbo-loaded fave of mine? Scalloped ham and potatoes from scratch. MMMMMMM
Darnit, now I’m really hungry.
November 12th, 2008 at 11:44 am
Heeey, I recognize that DUTCH OVEN…bwaaaahahahahaa!
November 12th, 2008 at 11:50 am
I am envious of your knitting abilities. One of my girlfriends knits hats and scarves, and I suggested that she host a knitting party to teach a few of us how.
We sure know how to party up here in Summerland.
November 12th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
Last night I wrassled that gingerbread wedding cake into Tupperware. Do you know how many it took? FOUR!!!
My Wii Fit keeps asking why I’ve gained wait. You have to actually choose an option. But there is no option that says, WEDDING CAKE OVERLOAD.
Have fun!
November 12th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
Double-cheese-mac-n-cheese?
Gingerbread cake with cream cheese frosting?
I am so very physically attracted to you, right now.
November 12th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
I find cooking for two no easier than cooking for one. It always seems wasteful. PLUS, Aaron eats dinner at like 10, which NO EFFING WAY.
November 12th, 2008 at 6:57 pm
So is that what I needed to do to get you to housesit? Stock the kitchen with tasty desserts? You should have just said so! That mac-n-cheese is making my mouth water just thinking about it.
November 12th, 2008 at 9:13 pm
well. I have spicy tomato soup cooked for tomorrow dinner (art show, had to cook ahead of time)…AND cornbread. Try that. ,Leftovers, you toast with butter and eat for breakfast with honey. Seriously, nothing wrong with that. I’m guilty of three times the cheese in my mac and cheese recipe. It’s never enough, what they tell you. We are of course a better judge, than those cookbook recipe building people. I like me my cheese.
November 13th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
It has been my experience, that the only way to get enough cheese is to get the RIGHT cheese. For macaroni and cheese that means extra sharp (not just sharp) cheddar.
The kind of cheddar that it is so sharp it cuts into your sharp knife . . . so, handle the cheese with leather gloves.
November 13th, 2008 at 4:37 pm
You can never go wrong with MORE CHEESE!
I too hate cooking for one. And I don’t invite people over because that means I would have to clean. And why end the many month long no-cleaning streak NOW?
November 13th, 2008 at 7:58 pm
Good GOD that looks good.
I challenge you to a Cheese Haiku.