Starbucks May Be Lacing its Hot Chocolate with Hallucinogens*
Posted by Moose on October 14th, 2008. Filed under: Daily.Nothing like getting a salted caramel hot chocolate from Starbucks and calling it lunch to cement your domination in the field of poor decision making. Oof. Hot chocolate for lunch – not accompanied by a healthy salad or turkey sandwich, by the way - was really not one of my wiser plans. So, hey! Maybe the other decisions I’ve made today are actually good ones! Because I poured all my bad judgment into meal choice. YES!
Hi! You know what else drinking hot chocolate for lunch does? IT MAKES YOU HYPER.
Saturday was one of the most spectacular autumn days since autumn decided to call itself an official season. So I took myself and my red water bottle up to Sweeney Ridge to compose sonnets dedicated to the clear blue sky and ocean view. That was the plan anyway: sky + sonnets = deluded English major with a water bottle she’s inordinately proud of just because it’s apple-hued and shiny, but then I decided I’d rather play photographer. I hit the summit, pulled out my point-and-shoot, positioned the most glorious nature shot you’ve ever been privileged to witness – and my camera died. So you’ll just have to imagine it. Are you imagining it? Are you blown away by my artistry and subtle manipulation of a cheap camera that always makes things all smeary because I never did read the manual? Are you? GOOD.
Now imagine this post has a point and that all your fondest wishes are about to come true, that Daniel Craig just walked through your office door holding the bridle of the chestnut pony you asked Santa to bring you in 1983. The pony won’t even take a dump on the report that was due two hours ago, because the report was finished by Angelina Jolie in a halter top. You’re welcome.
~
* If not, there’s absolutely no excuse for this post.
October 14th, 2008 at 4:10 pm
I’ve been coveting a salted caramel hot chocolate ever since I found out they exist (uh… three days ago) but it’s been 80 degrees here. Are they everything I imagine them to be? (Awesome, spectacular and crazy good?)
October 14th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
Oooh! Is it a shiny, environment-friendly, STEEL water bottle?
Flickr image, please.
Or a simple hallucination will do.
October 14th, 2008 at 4:14 pm
First of all, that salted caramel mocha RULES. Those evil Starsucks people gave me a sample of it the other day. Addictive chemicals!
I think Angelina Jolie in a halter top might just depress me. Hmmm…
October 14th, 2008 at 4:22 pm
There are several drinks that have hallucinogens (I was thinking of Mt. Dew which actually has the habit forming “crack” in it, not really a hallucinagen)…and I haven’t actually had that yummy caramel and hot chocolate concoction – but it is sure to be consumed within the next 72 hours if the weather cooperates. I can see why that, consumed by itself, would make you hyper. Or shaky.
And by the way, there was purpose to this post – and all of my wishes have come true. And now we’ve all been updated by you and our wait is over. All is good!
October 14th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
How was this salted caramel hot chocolate? I’m nervous to order it because I hate their normal hot chocolate, but the internet tells me it’s good, and lord knows, I do whatever the internet tells me to do. So I might just have to go for it. But you steered me right on the Chihuly glass (loved it!) so I thought I would check with you on the hot chocolate too.
October 14th, 2008 at 4:34 pm
Said salted caramel hot chocolate gets the Moose Hoof Stamp of Approval. (Oh, how I wish I HAD a moose hoof stamp of approval. I would misuse that thing all over town.)
Recommended! Beware of post-chocolate hyperactivity!
October 14th, 2008 at 4:54 pm
Starbucks most certainly does put something in their stuff that makes it impossible to resist. Have to try that one, as I’ve lately been addicted to Pumpkin Spice Lattes. Mmmmm.
October 14th, 2008 at 5:08 pm
Salted caramel hot chocolate?! REALLY? Guess I’ll need to stop in to see the Evil Corporate Greenies sometime soon and give it a try…
Oh, and Angelina was just here, and she says to tell you that it was a criss-cross sweetheart tank, NOT a halter. ‘Kay? Kay.
October 14th, 2008 at 5:43 pm
Hey, Moose, you get a wish-come-true, too!
Check it out:
http://www.krittersinthemailbox.com/animals/moose/rhb471.htm
October 14th, 2008 at 5:51 pm
Um, I have dreaming about that damn salted caramel hot chocolate for days. Tell me, was it everything you wished it would be? Did it envelope you in sweet yet salty goodness? DO TELL.
October 14th, 2008 at 8:42 pm
I’ve yet to try the salted caramel hot chocolate – but I had a sample of the hazelnut hot chocolate and it was delightful.
October 15th, 2008 at 7:06 am
You definately need to Peter’s suggestion of a moose stamp! Think of all the Christmas cards you could make with it!
October 15th, 2008 at 7:28 am
I’m heading to Starbucks. Be back later with a comment worthy of this post.
October 15th, 2008 at 7:46 am
I too recently had a seasonal misstep in my diet. I got some pumpkin seeds and they were so tasty and salty and protein packed I thought, “I’ll just have pumpkin seeds for lunch!” But by mid-afternoon, my belly full of pumpkin seeds was all aquiver and what followed can only be described as digestive hell. Maybe we can form a support group for victims of the lure of seasonal goodies.
October 15th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
Salted caramel hot chocolate? My hips curse you. I must try this (and it’s going to be cool the next few days, good timing).
(Did I tell you that because of your salted caramel comments I wasted the better part of an evening trying to procure some on the web? I had it narrowed down to two different sites and was comparing the cost per salty/sweet ounces of goodness when my husband shut the laptop on me. By the time I got back to it, the urge had died and sanity had beaten back the snack monster.)
October 22nd, 2008 at 12:12 pm
I don’t know about this salted caramel hot chocolate you speak of. But I must get some.