My Lease Expires in Seven Months
Posted by Moose on September 2nd, 2008. Filed under: Wee Apartment.I have two major goals right now: 1) Get myself to a tropical island where I can guzzle daquiris thoughtfully provided by a tanned man named Paco, and 2) GET A DOG. As soon as I sign the lease for a place that allows canine slobber, I’ll head for the pound to pick out a medium-size mutt who will sleep on the bed with me and breathe kibble in my face.
When I was moving, my sole requirement in a new place was AVAILABLE YESTERDAY. For three rather depressing days, I thought this would require living with pot smoking 23-year-olds who didn’t know which end of the toilet brush was up. But now that I’m comfortably settled and the GET ME OUT OF HERE impetus isn’t a factor, I have time to reflect on what I want in my next place. Namely, lots of sunshine and room for a dog. My current apartment is just too small for anything but a fat hamster or a skinny cat. I have nothing against rodents or underfed kitties, but what I really want is a pup to lick my face at 5:30 a.m. until I drag my pushover carcass out into the morning chill to let my ungrateful hound sniff at tree
roots.
Replacing Meeka is simply impossible – you’ve never met such a sweet dog with such a penchant for climbing trees JUST IN CASE THERE’S A SQUIRREL UP THERE – but having a dog of my very own might be even better.
In the meantime, I think Paco needs to fetch me another strawberry daquiri.
September 2nd, 2008 at 11:43 pm
Oooh, can I come dog hunting with you? Fuuun! I, too, am DYING for a dog. Unfortunately, my rather hectic lifestyle must slow a bit before that can happen.
September 2nd, 2008 at 11:51 pm
A shop down the street from me is selling puppies. I stop by every. single. day. on my way home from work. I too need a barking, licking, annoying, and so very loving, little friend.
September 3rd, 2008 at 7:22 am
sweet! you have 7 months to find the perfect place and your dog-to-be
that should be plenty of time, unlike your last move.
September 3rd, 2008 at 8:09 am
You will find the perfect dog at the shelter!! They know you saved them, so they’re forever in your debt… and they pay up with kisses and love!
September 3rd, 2008 at 8:58 am
I would also like Paco to get me a daquiri. He’s shirtless while he’s doing this, right?
September 3rd, 2008 at 9:02 am
Rhi: OF COURSE Paco is shirtless. He doesn’t even own any shirts. He doesn’t even know what a shirt IS.
September 3rd, 2008 at 9:56 am
pop by my blog if you need a puppy fix – I post about my Stella far too much than is acceptable
September 3rd, 2008 at 11:36 am
Yay you’re getting your own pound puppy!
Can’t wait!
September 3rd, 2008 at 11:52 am
heh skinny kitten, fat hamster… ah made me chuckle. I have lived in a similar place and I know the feeling of wanting something warm and cute to cuddle with that will not completely break your heart. I hope you can find a place that allows to have all that and more!
September 3rd, 2008 at 12:24 pm
It’s probably no secret that I would heartily recommend a pug for your dog of your choosing. I can’t tell enough stories about how I would be having a sub-par day, only to come home and see the silly look that always rests on Iggy’s face, no matter what he happens to be doing or not doing, and how I just start laughing, and everything is suddenly so much lighter, so much better.
September 3rd, 2008 at 2:09 pm
AWWW!
I hit this point in my life too, at 27. I woke up one day and thought, IF I DON’T GET A CHIHUAHUA SOON I WILL DIE.
I am quoted at this time as actually saying, out loud, “I have so much love to give.”
A low moment. Hang in there. Soon, it will be like you have a dog.
September 3rd, 2008 at 2:47 pm
My cat licks my face. You can have him if you like.
September 3rd, 2008 at 3:14 pm
It’s definitely *not* replacing, but a new dog will bring you similar joys with all his/her new quirks.
September 3rd, 2008 at 3:17 pm
I think the real question here is, Does Paco have a dog? or perhaps, Paco, do you make drinks AND pick up dog poop?
I’m pretty sure Match.com needs to reconsider their selection criteria to include Paco-type-dog-owners.
September 3rd, 2008 at 3:44 pm
I think Match.com needs a search engine that allows you to type “tanned + understands tequila and dog cleanup + named Paco” – and then delivers Paco to your door via next-day FedEx.
Surely, there’s a Paco somewhere in the world. Match.com needs to find him for me. Yes.
September 3rd, 2008 at 6:41 pm
OK. The name Paco makes me laugh because I went to high school with a Paco. He was a scrawny, geeky, TINY dude.
Might I suggest an Enrique? Or a Hulio?
(Apparently I like the Iglesisas’)
September 3rd, 2008 at 6:46 pm
That’s what I get for not clarifying. Scrawny boys tan too. But Paco rhymes with Taco – which practically guarantees a match made in blogger heaven.
September 3rd, 2008 at 9:58 pm
I have wanted a little tiny dog for forever, but James is allergic. BOO.
September 4th, 2008 at 1:24 am
So right after our Maldives discussion, I heard that one of the radio stations here is giving away a trip to, you guessed it – the Maldives. I have to listen to the morning show all week next week. (I’m not sure Jenny’s going to be so into that!) But, I’m not sure the crap morning talk and pop at 1 am for you would be worth it…
September 4th, 2008 at 1:25 am
Oops, that should say, “I’d recommend streaming invicta fm, but I’m not sure…”
September 4th, 2008 at 6:59 am
Pound puppies are the best.thing.ever! We had one for 8 years before we had to say good bye and she was the best thing I ever did! I can’t even go into the shelter without weeping!
But now I am feeling the need for a shirtless man named Paco to bring me a drink and it is only 9am here. I know what I am going to think about all day!
September 4th, 2008 at 9:55 am
I already have a cat-dog (he’s a cat, but you’d hardly know it), but now I need to get me a Paco. If you figure out how to work that match.com magic, please share your secrets.
September 4th, 2008 at 11:07 pm
Dear Moose,
Thanks for suggesting the use of the toilet brush.
I like it very much. After trying it out, however, I’ve decided to go back to using paper.
September 6th, 2008 at 5:59 pm
Very few landlords allow pets here, I blame it entirely on college students who allow their pets to destroy apartments. Yet no one care to listen that I’m nearly 30 and clearly more responsible than a college student.
I want a dog too. I would like a merle great dane- big, huge loveable dog.