Of Bacon Lollipops and Other Nice Things
Posted by Moose on August 3rd, 2008. Filed under: Uncategorized.What you forget about the sun when you live in a foggy microclimate? Is its latent ability to transform you from Pleasantly Pasty to Lobster Impersonator in under half an hour.
My skin, it is singed. I don’t want to fuss too vehemently, as said singeing happened when I was lolling out of doors in the much-beloved but rarely seen sun (it’s been a weird summer, weather-wise). But taking a shower now feels less like one of my favorite activities and more like being attacked by thousands of tiny needles shrieking, YOU SHOULD HAVE WORN SUNSCREEN, YOU NINNY. The needles, they are judgmental.
Other things I did this weekend:
1. Went to Miette to buy treats for Slynnro and Jenny.
2. Realized four hours later that I need to go back to Miette, because I may have eaten everything many of the things I bought them.
3. Except for this, because destroying such a work of art would be utter blasphemy:
(Why, yes. That IS a bacon lollipop.)
4. Had brunch with a friend who manages to be charming and delightful even when hungover and forced (by me) to sit in the blistering sun.
5. Read three books cover-to-cover.
6. Contemplated my crush on a friend-of-a-friend.
7. Contemplated my own utter cowardice in regards to this crush.
8. Contemplated death and its general proximity, hypothesizing that perhaps I should stop being a coward JUST IN CASE.
9. Decided my chances of dying within the next month or so are slim to none and so cowardice is acceptable for at least another week.
10. Went to farmer’s market for strawberries and olives and scored a 27 on the scale of San Francisco dwellerdom.
11. Invented a new word. (Dwellerdom! Coming soon to a dictionary near you!)
12. Wrote a post with no real point. Except that bacon lollipops are awesome and smart people wear sunscreen.
August 3rd, 2008 at 9:51 pm
Man, I don’t usually burn because I’m reasonably dark skinned (thanks, Dad!) but a day by the pool in Mammoth and a half afternoon on the beach in Tahoe left my butt cheeks fried (no, I wasn’t wearing a thong; my bikini just rode up, OK?!).
August 3rd, 2008 at 9:56 pm
Posts like this post with no real point are exactly the reason I like your blog so much. You are not only a good writer, you are funny and creative. Henceforth I will be adding “dwellerdom” to my vocabulary.
August 4th, 2008 at 6:56 am
You have no idea how excited I am. I’m almost embarrassed by my level of excitement for candy – but then I remember you get just as excited, so I don’t feel so crazy
August 4th, 2008 at 7:44 am
Only YOU could write such a great post about nothing. I on the other hand cannot think of a decent comment for the life of me.
Maybe I need candy. Or a bacon lollipop.
August 4th, 2008 at 7:57 am
Sounds like a great weekend, other than that sunburn business, at least… But bacon lollipops? I think i could live without those.
August 4th, 2008 at 8:16 am
Have you tried Mo’s Bacon Bar? omg…it’s baconey, chocolately heaven. You can get ‘em at Bittersweet Chocolate Cafe in Rockridge.
August 4th, 2008 at 8:17 am
I’m loving the debate re: bacon lollipops. I haven’t tasted these lollipops (also come in absinthe!) so can’t speak with any credibility, but I think Bacon On a Stick might be more appealing.
Maybe I should conduct a taste test.
August 4th, 2008 at 8:19 am
Who, in the world!, would think that you can get sunburned in SF?? (Ahem, happened to me a couple of weeks ago).
Remedy: A tube of SPF 30 in my purse at all times.
Bacon Lollipops? Sounds more than weird. Seriously. It’s like eating pancakes with eggs and bacon. Oh wait, many people do that in this country. Can you tell I am not from here???
August 4th, 2008 at 8:48 am
Three books! I’m insanely and totally impressed.
I read a J. Crew catalog and the TV listings.
August 4th, 2008 at 9:21 am
Me: incredulous. And fascinated, too, like when you first learn as a kid that there’s a worm in that bottle of tequila. Thanks for the photographic proof!
August 4th, 2008 at 9:27 am
Weirdest weekend weather ever! I’m hot! It’s the Sahara desert! I’ll never make it! I’ll die right here in a melted pool on the sidewalk…
Jeez…is it suddenly freezing cold to anyone else?
I’m jealous you read three books! You must be a speed reader!
August 4th, 2008 at 9:39 am
Two things:
1) I want to eat that bacon lollipop
2) The word Ninny is not used nearly enough. I’m going to start using it now.
That is all.
August 4th, 2008 at 9:46 am
It’s easy to read three books when you do virtually nothing else all weekend. And when the books in question are, ahem, not necessarily the most intellectual tomes on the shelf.
August 4th, 2008 at 10:05 am
Oh, I hope I’m getting a bacon lollipop because Mr. A WILL DIE when he sees it. Die in the good way obviously. I am SO excited!
August 4th, 2008 at 5:59 pm
In Key West you can get Key Lime Pie (DIPPED IN CHOCOLATE) on a stick. Why is food so much better when it’s on a stick?!
August 5th, 2008 at 6:53 am
I love bacon. I like lollipops. I enjoy the word, “lollyphile.” Sold.
August 5th, 2008 at 12:30 pm
FYI, I’ve read a ton of blog posts with these bacon lollipops and apparently they do not taste good. Which, is completely inconceivable to me. Because how can you go wrong with Bacon? Really.
August 5th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
Oh, I missed! your Miette run. I’m sorry! I’ve seriously been so out of it this past week. I would blame someone, or something (Dear Twilight Series, Give me my life back! Speaking of: I read the first two of those books cover to cover, this weekend, and then the third last night; Hi! 2.5 hours of sleep), but really I am just a lame emailer sometimes. I verily appreciate the offer. You are far too awesome.
Did I ever tell you the story about how I left the peanut butter cookies I bought that day we went on the table in our hotel room, and left a note for Whoorl to have some cookies! if she was so inclined, and then when I got back to the room later, there were suspicious crumbs everywhere and another note beside mine that was all, “I opened the bag and spilled cookies EVERYWHERE,” which made me laugh and just goes to prove that a. I leave the longest most nonsensical comments ever and b. Miette cookies are quite irresistible.
Oh, and also: on my way home to Portland the lone Pixie Stick in my purse totally broke and scattered pink sugar all over everything. Clumsy Pixie Stick.
August 5th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
Dude,
A bacon lollipop is reason enough for a blog post. That’s pretty much my dream on a stick!