Now All I Need Is Towering Hair
Posted by Moose on April 26th, 2008. Filed under: Wee Apartment.I’m sitting here in my very own apartment, posting from my very own internet connection. After three weeks of my computer connecting to nothing but the power outlet, which is a blessed invention but entirely lacking in photos of ferrets wearing purple top hats, I can’t even begin to tell you how good this feels.
I spent the morning washing my wood floors with Murphy’s oil and waiting for the Comcast guy, who appeared in the last three minutes of his four hour window. I’m not sure how they manage to do that for each and every appointment, but it must require some kind of intensive training. After he left, I walked up the hill a few blocks to amble around the park and toss pine cones in hopes of inciting the dogs to riot. (It didn’t work.) As I walked home again, I passed a large black woman in a wheelchair wearing a hairstyle that can only be described as bouffant. She was sitting on the corner with a friend, her diction rising and falling with an ebullience that somehow defies exclamation points.
“I got this nice place on Noe now and it’s so clean and fancy.” She pauses for effect. “I even got internet. In my very own house.” Her friend bounces a little with enthusiasm, and the seated woman’s hair bounces right along with her. “I am so grateful.”
I hear that, my new neighbor. I hear that.
April 26th, 2008 at 4:55 pm
You should get a wheelchair too.
April 26th, 2008 at 5:22 pm
Yay! Fancy…very fancy. Congrats!
April 26th, 2008 at 6:36 pm
When I moved into my apartment last year I held out for 3 months without internet or cable. It was in the internet that finally broke me. I was desperate to check email on the weekends.
April 26th, 2008 at 7:07 pm
You went three weeks without the Internet!? That alone is way scarier than the high-rise hairdo.
April 26th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
Congrats! Let the time-sucking begin! (I fully expect to see more of your great wit from now on!)
April 26th, 2008 at 11:46 pm
It’s time to grill a pizza. Do you have a grill? Go to Wal-Mart and let me know when you’ve got the goods. Do I have a treat for you!
April 27th, 2008 at 7:31 am
Hooray for you having the Internet! You have been missed
April 27th, 2008 at 7:57 am
The “internets” are becoming very popular and available to the masses these days — glad to see you’re on board.
April 27th, 2008 at 10:44 pm
Oh goodness, she has the Internets (referred to by some as simply “the e-mails”)! She’s never emerging again! Unless I lure her with promises of brunch at her doorstep mayhaps? Bar Jules? Anyone?
April 27th, 2008 at 11:02 pm
When Al Gore and I invented the Internet we had you in mind.
“You know, Bill,” Al said, gazing wistfully across the bay, “when you and me are finished with this project, anybody in America, and I mean anybody, will be able to call up an image of a purple top hatted ferret just like that.” And he snapped his fingers for effect.
Choked with emotion, all I could manage was, “I’m not worthy, sir.”
April 28th, 2008 at 8:03 am
The next time you want to incite dogs to riot – toss bacon not pine cones. Works EVERY time.
Congratulations on getting your innernet (as my 5 year old niece pronounces it) working! I have a total picture in my head of the lady’s bouffant hairdo! It has just made my Monday morning.
April 28th, 2008 at 8:56 am
How often do you actually get to hear someone say that they are grateful… and not in response to someone else doing them a favor?
That they are good, and things are good and they are thankful. (And no, ‘it could be better ifs’).
April 28th, 2008 at 11:57 am
Murphy’s Oil! How genius. I tried to make up for the lack of cleaning fluid in my Swiffer WetJet, and I used Pledge instead. Yes, I’ve almost killed myself nine times since then walking through the kitchen in socks.
April 28th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
see? the internet makes EVERYONE happy
April 28th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Sometimes I like to sit around and remember the dark ages before Internet. HOw on earth did we even survive?
Remember how you had to look stuff in an ENCYCLOPEDIA?! Or like if someone couldn’t remember a song lyric, everyone just sat around and scratched their heads at the impossible puzzle???
April 28th, 2008 at 5:22 pm
I’m glad to hear that having internet hasn’t dissuaded you from your worldly hobbies (i.e., inciting dogs to riot).
April 28th, 2008 at 6:51 pm
OH! OH! I’ve SEEN her! That’s more like a beehive, I think, than a bouffant, but it’s BIG.
April 29th, 2008 at 6:34 pm
Do you think she’s hiding “internet” in her hair?