I Will Change Your Life (With Stir-Fry)
Posted by Moose on March 5th, 2008. Filed under: I Live to Eat.Know what happens when you chop up a red chili pepper and scratch your face? You race to the refrigerator, grab a container of yogurt, wrench it open, and stick your nose in it. Because of the BURNING. OH, THE BURNING. But only after you’ve stuck your nose in 1) a glass of milk, 2) a cup of lemon juice, 3) some vinegar, and 4) paste made of baking soda and water, and NOTHING WORKED. It makes me very glad I delegated the chili chopping. Because my nose is not the one currently crusted with drying yogurt.
I’m going to give you a recipe now. A recipe that will 1) change your life with an amazingly tasty, incredibly easy dinner, or 2) make you curse me and the day you found my url because CHILI JUICE HURTS, WOMAN.
(Because I think only of you and your comfort, I want you to keep this Metafilter page close at hand as I relate the recipe. Or just put on some rubber gloves and drop them in the incinerator once dinner is on the table.)
(I like to include pictures when I proffer recipes, but believe me when I say this recipe was so good, there was no picture taking possible. Not only was I unwilling to stop stuffing my face long enough to grab the camera, I was unwilling to stop stuffing my face long enough to help my poor, beleaguered co-chef find a solution for his burning nostrils. I was even – and I don’t like admitting this – considering using his distraction as an opportunity to finish the rest of his dinner myself. I am not a good person.)
Stir-Fried Chicken with Chili and Basil
(From bills open kitchen
4 garlic cloves
1 large red chili
1/4 teaspoon sea salt
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
7 oz skinless chicken breasts, sliced on the diagonal
10 1/2 oz snake beans or green beans, cut into 1 1/4 inch lengths on the diagonal
2 tablespoons fish sauce
1 tablespoon dark soy sauce
1 tablespoon sugar
1 large red chili, cut lengthways, seeds removed, extra
1/2 cup Asian basil leaves, or regular basil
Roughly chop the garlic and chili. Place in a mortar and pestle with the salt and pound into a paste. If you don’t have a mortar and pestle, place the garlic and chili on a chopping board, sprinkle with salt and finely mince with a knife, using the side to make a paste.
Place a wok or a large non-stick frying pan over a high heat for 1 minute, heat the oil and add the garlic chili paste. Stir-fry for 15 seconds until lightly golden. Add the chicken and beans. Cook, stirring, for about 5 minutes. Add the fish sauce, soy sauce, sugar and chili and stir-fry for 30 seconds longer. Remove from the heat and stir through the basil.
Serve immediately with steamed jasmine rice.
~~ End recipe ~~
This is one of those recipes that make my heart sing, and not just because I consumed half a bottle of sparkling wine beforehand. (Also easy to cook when drunk!) With its flavorful chicken and sinus-clearing spice, I would have been happy with this dish anywhere I ate it. And that doesn’t refer to the lazy man’s “couch or dinner table like civilized folks, dear?” No, that’s how I judge my cooking. My kitchen prowess falls into one of three categories: 1) dreadful with a side of disaster, 2) acceptable, but how DID you manage to dirty every dish in the kitchen? or 3) good, but I’d be pissed if I paid actual money for this at a restaurant.
This recipe, my friends, would do your favorite Chinese restaurant proud. Which means it has invented a whole new category for my cooking. Try it. But make sure you have a container of yogurt handy first. Peach works nicely.
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March 5th, 2008 at 10:21 pm
That’s the way Bill likes it! ha!
I have a confession. I am not married, pregnant, or otherwise in the family way. BUT sometimes, late at night, I sit up in bed in a panic and think: I don’t know any easy weekday meals. My children will starve!
Sure, I know how to make a mean cassoulet that takes five hours and I make cheese from scratch, but I won’t be able to do that when I have kids.
So thank you for this. I shall try it out immediately. And hopefully, with your help, I’ll start sleeping better.
March 5th, 2008 at 10:26 pm
OH MY GOD CHILI JUICE HURTS.
http://whoorl.com/archives/384
March 5th, 2008 at 10:29 pm
I think “I will change your life (with stir-fry)” should be the next big pop song sensation. That would make me happy.
March 5th, 2008 at 10:33 pm
I cook WAY better when drinking wine. I also write better.
*Wishes she had a glass of wine in her hand*
Chili juice is NASTY (I’ve made salsa), but that recipe looks dee-lish!
March 6th, 2008 at 1:06 am
You cannot go wrong with basil. It is just one of the tenets of life. I make something very similar to this, and I would request it on my deathbed. Well, I would if anyone who’d actually BE at my deathbed knew how to cook it.
March 6th, 2008 at 7:37 am
I was once so badly in the chili juice way that I had to have a friend take out my contacts for me because the burning sensation was creeping slowly up my cheeks towards my eyes. This is what happens when you believe the sign in the store about “sweet” banana peppers and blithely cut away without actually checking first… I wore slices of bread-soaked-in-milk on my face for an hour afterwards. It wasn’t pretty but did work. Also, it would be a hilarious thing for everyone else who’d had the 1/2 bottle of wine to witness. Something to keep in mind for next time. If you can bear to look at a mom’s blog for a moment, this post has a bit of blog bling for you.
March 6th, 2008 at 8:54 am
This looks incredible. Once we’re all unpacked and our dining room table isn’t littered with boxes and Tupperware storage units, I’m ABSOLUTELY making this. So, in about four months, I’m thinking.
March 6th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
I recognize that recipe!
March 6th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
Wait, how did that annoying little smiley thing pop up? That was unintentional.
March 6th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
I’m going to use those three categories for my own meals. As long as no one bleeds directly on the food, I call it a success!
March 6th, 2008 at 3:36 pm
I do believe my husband will be quite happy if I cook a meal this month so, I know he’ll love this. If he doesn’t, I’ll make sure to shoot chili juice in his eyes.
March 6th, 2008 at 5:50 pm
*Print* Yay!
And do you know that chili juice in your nose doesn’t compare to chili juice in your eye? I WISH that I took a self-portrait of the “after-effect”. HORRENDOUS. The white part of my eye formed an edema(sp?) (Dr’s word, not mine) over the colored part. My actual eye got all goopy and it looked like my eye was overflowing from the socket. And the prescription for this “issue”? “Oh honey, it’s nothing a bag of frozen peas won’t fix.” I swear this is what his nurse told me. And hot damn if it didn’t work.
So, if you’re out of peach yogurt, just shove about a dozen frozen peas up your nose.
March 7th, 2008 at 10:17 am
Oh how I wish you’d taken a break to snap a picture of the yogurt covered victim! Someday he’ll look back and laugh (but probably not today!)
March 7th, 2008 at 4:01 pm
Good Girl Lit: I plan to feed my children triscuits and popsicles. There will be no healthy meal plan in our house! (Though this recipe could be great fun with the kidlets. “Here, darling. Chop up some chili for mama.”)
Whoorl: I read that! And VOWED TO REMEMBER IT. Like so many things I vow to remember, I UTTERLY FORGOT 12 SECONDS LATER. It’s a curse.
Kerri Anne: I think that title should headline the New Kids on the Block comeback tour.
Angella: I cooked the meal AND wrote the post after 3/4 of a bottle of wine. My limit is about two tablespoons. Let the good times roll!
NBB: What IS it about the combination of chicken, basil, spice and tasty sauce? It cleanses the palate, the nasal passages, and the soul. I want some right now. Which is rather unfortunate because I’m at the office.
Mommytime: Bread soaked in milk – we didn’t try that! I will remember it for next time. (Fervently prays there won’t BE a next time.) And thank you! I left you a wee comment.
SLP: As soon as you can find a frying pan, I highly recommend it.
Jemima: Oops. I need to delete the irritating smiley face. Blog Mistress, at your service. (That sounded more risque than I intended.)
Leah: We need to make potato latkes together sometime. Now THAT would be some good, entertaining fun. I’ll bring the potatoes, you bring the bandaids.
Gorillabuns: That’s what chili juice is for. So innocuous looking, such deadly stinging.
Over-Thinker. EWWWWW. (I sometimes (often) use unnecessary caps, but that eye goop description totally deserved them.) That sounds rather horrendous. I’m glad someone came through with a frozen vegetable cure for you. And I’m adding it to my list.
Heidi: His nostrils were covered in crusted, goopy yogurt. I suggested a photo shoot. He glared at me.
March 10th, 2008 at 2:30 pm
this is utah…and i’m pretty sure fish sauce is fairly unavailable. (i’ll be able to find it, but it won’t be convenient. plus it just sounds gross.)
is it a necessary ingredient? can i skip it? add more soy sauce?
March 10th, 2008 at 2:36 pm
Jess: You can definitely skip the fish sauce. (In fact, I made this recipe again, added too much fish sauce and ruined it. Blast.) Stir-fry is one of those “throw in whatever the hell you want” type dishes – and bless it for that.
If it doesn’t seem as saucy (ahem) as you like it, definitely try tossing in a bit more soy.
March 18th, 2008 at 11:36 am
This sounds so super good; I’m going to try it for my mom’s birthday dinner. May I ask how many this recipe serves, please? I’m going to be feeding several hungry mouths, and definitely don’t want to be short! Thanks so much for sharing!