That Lesson Is: Buy More Shoes
Posted by Moose on February 22nd, 2008. Filed under: Adventures.We get back to my car, and I realize I don’t need the key to open the door.
“So, my car’s been open all night.”
“I hope nobody stole your tape deck.”
Do you ever have moments when you truly believe everything you own is crap? The above conversation wasn’t even the crystallizing moment. That moment came hours earlier, when my fully charged phone died a sudden, gasping death. Right when I was supposed to be calling Jemima to decide which movie at what theater. We missed the movie. Because I had to race across town, burst through my front door, plug in my phone, flap my hands in agitation, and call her.
(If you’re wondering why I didn’t use a pay phone, stop to think about how many phone numbers you actually know by heart. The days of the manual dial are long gone. Unless I can walk to a pay phone and dial J-E-M-I-M-A, I’m flat out of luck. Besides, I think there are as many pay phones on the streets as there are baby ostriches. I bet I could find a wee ostrich in San Francisco faster than I could find a pay phone.)
(And I was totally out of cash.)
It may astonish you to hear that I don’t mean to complain. I have everything I need and more. But some days, when I enter the state best known as Ungrateful Hag, I can’t help but think about a friend’s shiny iphone while stomping 45 minutes home in the rain, just to plug in a phone to make one call. Ten minutes after the phone was pulled off life support, I climbed into the car, only to remember that my car doesn’t do so well in the rain. The window fogs up until I can’t see. So the coldest, rainiest nights are the ones that require the most air-conditioning. Visibility is still such that I’d do better in a little red wagon pulled by a sullen, one-eyed cat.
Sitting in the car, waiting until I could see details like traffic lights and pedestrians, I began to ponder the monetary total of my worldly goods. Were I to sell them all off, I’d net about $900. Excluding the ipod and the hand-me-down computer, which I didn’t pay for anyway.
I’ve always been more interested in experiences than in stuff. I’ll spend guilty hours staring at the receipt for a $20 shirt, but a meal that costs twice as much won’t even register on my mental spreadsheet. I’d rather spend six weeks in Italy than have, um, savings. But sometimes, when your cell phone’s receptor is hanging drunkenly off your phone and a friend mentions that maybe THAT’S why you don’t seem to get reception anywhere, you wish your capability for acquiring stuff was better established.
I dreamed of a fancy new phone. One with internet, so when I’m lost, I don’t have to start calling everyone I know to give me directions, I can just pull up google maps. I thought of replacing the plywood bureau that lists six inches to the left. Buying new underwear to put in the bureau. A new battery for my laptop. A diamond-studded cashmere pony. One with a driver’s license so he could chauffeur me around in a red, convertible mini-Cooper. Then I smacked myself and pulled out of the driveway.
In the end, my car is a good car. It runs. Takes me where I want to go. It hasn’t even needed any major repairs since I replaced the transmission a few years ago. (Apparently, it’s rather hard to destroy a transmission. But I managed it. I’m just that kind of talented.) My phone…well, my phone hasn’t exploded and set my head on fire. So there’s that.
Plus, I have some truly awesome shoes. And what’s more important? A cell phone or shoes on your feet? I would have been far less happy tromping home to plug in my cell phone if I’d been tromping barefoot.
I’m sure there’s a lesson here.
Related posts:
February 22nd, 2008 at 9:09 am
My shoes are probably worth more in total than all of my electronics. And my car.
February 22nd, 2008 at 9:14 am
The lesson is to pay for the freaking insurance on the phone. Then when it breaks? $35 and a shiny new phone. I have Sprint and they even replace the power cords when they stop working.
February 22nd, 2008 at 9:28 am
I totally have days like that! Days in which I wish we could just throw caution to the wind and book that trip down south or sign that lease on a new car or put a new kitchen on the credit card. Then I land back on earth with a disappointing thud.
February 22nd, 2008 at 11:03 am
She Likes Purple: Amen, sister!
Mere: I didn’t even know you COULD buy insurance for a phone. I suspect my phone, the one I got for free from the phone company, isn’t really worth insuring. In fact, I shouldn’t even be complaining. A free phone just lasted me three years. My old (quite expensive) ipod didn’t last half that long.
Assertagirl: My hand will start twitching toward my wallet, and I’ll have to yank it back. Sometimes I’m entering my credit card number on a shopping web site and I’ll have to slam the computer shut and go dunk my head in a bucket of cold water.
February 22nd, 2008 at 11:39 am
…from a longtime reader, first time commenter
You wrote: I’ve always been more interested in experiences than in stuff.
I couldn’t agree more! Lately, I’m working on my latest project…er…becoming a runner…and I really should shell out some good cash for a nice pair of running shoes. I can’t ever justify it, but I constantly find other experiences justifiable, costing ~$70 (like snowboarding), which would either pay for the shoes or a majority of the cost, anyway.
February 22nd, 2008 at 12:26 pm
I hope it’s not mean that I’m giggling over the image of you in a little red wagon pulled by a sullen ,one-eyed cat.
February 22nd, 2008 at 1:34 pm
i couldn’t even call my mom for a ride home without my cell phone. i don’t know her number!
there are few numbers i know by heart.
and who doesn’t love shoes????
February 22nd, 2008 at 2:39 pm
I second Mere. I have insurance with Verizon, and when my CrackBerry was stolen in Amsterdam (the first expensive item like such that I ever purchased, so it was a double punch in the gut!), I just had to pay them $50 and they sent me a brand new one. Which was actually better, as I had successfully scratched up the screen thanks to my butterfingers and repetitive dropping.
February 22nd, 2008 at 3:51 pm
Here’s a quote I heard once: Life is a shit sandwich. The more bread you have, the less you taste the shit. There must be a lesson in that too. Though I don’t know what it is.
February 22nd, 2008 at 3:55 pm
900 bucks is pretty good. Buy an iPhone and you’d still have 500 in change. Hahaha.
February 22nd, 2008 at 4:07 pm
The other day my friend sent me a list of restaurants and wanted to know my opinion on all of them, um, even the French Laundry. It’s a well-known fact where my money goes.
Meanwhile I begged Holly’s old phone battery off her when she upgraded to an iPhone because mine would only let me make a 1-minute call. I mean, a new phone battery? Pshaw! Who needs it?
So I hear you on eating your money. Live life one bite at a time! Viva food!
February 22nd, 2008 at 4:10 pm
When I get together with people I haven’t seen in forever, all we ever talk about is that time that my new iPhone worked perfectly and we made it to the movie on time.
I can’t remember my own phone number half the time – cell phones have ruined me for any number.
February 22nd, 2008 at 6:02 pm
Sarah: I love first-time commenters. You make my heart sing with glee. Or maybe that’s jubilation. Could also be caffeine. It’s always startling to look at the spending patterns and realize that I happily spend $60 on an evening out and moan piteously over $15 for socks. My wallet can’t fathom it.
Leah: The sullen, one-eyed cat is meant to be mocked. And if I willingly put myself in a little red wagon, then I too am meant to be mocked. (I still love that image. Now I’m putting Meeka in the red wagon. I have too much time on my hands.)
C&C (and Mere): If I ever spend any amount of money on a phone I will totally get insurance. Who knew? (Well, you did. Oh, the things one learns from the internet.)
All Adither: I hate it when I know I’m supposed to be learning something, but I’m not quite sure what it is. Oh, I have it! The lesson is: Eat More Bread.
NBB: As I wrote that, I thought, “You know I could USE $900.” Then I realized that I’d just be using it to replace all the stuff I sold off.
Good Girl: I spent $7 on an egg salad sandwich today and DON’T REGRET IT ONE BIT. (mmmm…)
Jhianna: Life is just better with an iphone. I am now convinced of this.
Dear Apple Marketing,
You’re very good at your job. STOP THAT.
February 22nd, 2008 at 7:03 pm
Crap, now I feel bad about saying something pithy about your tape deck. Because I LOVE that you have a tape deck. I want to go on road trips and sing to mix TAPES and stop at roadside taco stands. Because I still have tapes. Lots and lots of tapes to listen to on my nonexistent tape player.
And note who was actually DRIVING and who it was who was having to wait for an hour in the rain for the stinking bus?
February 22nd, 2008 at 7:14 pm
J: Don’t feel bad. I laughed my ass off.
February 23rd, 2008 at 10:07 am
Hey. Two years ago I was still using my cassette tape Walkman in the gym, taking out that noisy, plastic, clicky mix tape to flip over after the first side was done. Embarrassing!
My old beyond-piece-of-crap-car, which also had a cassette deck (that no longer worked), had a cooling fan that also no longer worked, which meant turning the heater on full blast, in August, in order to keep the engine from overheating, which meant extracting heat from the engine directly into the cab. In August.
‘Diamond-studded cashmere pony’ made me laugh the hardest!
February 23rd, 2008 at 11:53 am
Okay, first? “I’d do better in a little red wagon pulled by a sullen, one-eyed cat.” is the best sentence I’ve read in the past six months.
Second, tape decks remain awesome. The original mix tape is just not the same on an iPod. In a related point, tape decks can be used with a cheap cassette adaptor to play one’s iPod easily!
Also, Eat More Bread is a life lesson for everyone, and one of my personal mottoes. (mottos?)
Oh, and you know what’s weird about NY? There are a bunch of payphones still to be found underground, on the subway platforms. Random, no? And yes, I fully agree that no one knows any numbers by heart anymore. Thank goodness my parents’ phone numbers have been around since before cell phone madness, so I at least know how to reach two people by Regular Phone.
February 23rd, 2008 at 3:28 pm
I think your head is in the right place, Moose—Even if said place has a roof that’s falling off, a door that’s missing a knob, and a floor that’s missing a few boards
And whoo hoo Tape Decks and Fancy Shoes!!!
February 25th, 2008 at 7:25 pm
This story reminded me that just this weekend we were wandering about (aimlessly, because: sunlight!) and Chris pointed bemusedly at two phone booths, one which looked like you would have easily and quickly contracted the bubonic plague had you thought to touch it, and said “Look! Phone BOOTHS” as if they were long forgotten pieces of our past, like overalls and striped Union Bay shirts.
It also reminds me of the story I meant to tell you last week, when we bought Iggy a new stuffed moose and Chris stood in the kitchen with it and said “Look! What am I?” And I said, “Um. A moose?” “Yep, but WHERE am I?” And I blinked confused for a minute and then: “A MOOSE IN THE KITCHEN!”
We are such amazing dorks.