Battle of the Flake
Posted by Moose on January 10th, 2008. Filed under: How To.I wouldn’t be surprised if somewhere on my ancestral tree there was a family of smug crocodiles who, between delicately chewing up small dogs and discussing the works of Edgar Allen Poe, laugh delightedly amongst themselves at the legions of humans made scaly by their crocodile genes.
Suffice it to say, my skin is really dry. Left to its own devices, I would shed my entire carapace every other week. Kind of like a snake. Rather than leave shells of myself scattered around the house, I have gallons of moisturizer in the bathroom and an army of recipes for homemade scrubs.
Since even non-flaky people are battling dry, inclement, skin destroying weather, I thought I’d share some of my favorites with you. Because that, in my opinion, is what the internet is for: Skincare tips.
Chapped lips: Put on some lip balm (I like Burt’s Bees) and press a wet washcloth between your lips for 30 seconds. Fidgeting optional. Then rub the washcloth in circles over your lips to remove the lip balm and dead bits. (Tasty!) Dry your lips and reapply.
Homemade scrub that will give you new reason to live: Mix equal parts olive oil and brown sugar (softer than the white granulated stuff) in a small tupperware container. In the shower, rub onto arms, legs, any place that looks ready to secede, until the sugar dissolves. Rinse it off. (Um, obviously. Unless you want dogs following you around the neighborhood and licking the backs of your knees.) I don’t even need to use moisturizer after the shower any more. And, let me tell you, THAT is a blessed first.
Joining the cult of Philosophy: Like the rest of the internet, I have drunk the Hope in a Jar kool-aid. This stuff actually rids my face of all those pesky little dry spots that muck up my powder and make me look slightly deranged. Possibly because I’m cursing my moisturizer in a very loud voice. Plus, it makes my cheeks feel like a baby’s butt.
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January 10th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
Burt’s Bees Honey Lip Balm is what I use!!!!!
It’s multipurpose! Try it as lube!
January 10th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
I too like Burt’s lip balm and my nose is so cracked and raw from blowing it NINE MILLION TIMES the last few days, I slathered on some Hope in a Jar this morning and sent up a quick thank you to the Internet for introducing me.
January 10th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
I think I might be beyond Hope in a Jar. But I like the idea of slathering sugar all over myself.
January 10th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
I’m definitely a believer in the cult of Philosophy. I’m addicted.
January 10th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
I’m going to try that sugar/olive oil business later this week!
And I LOVE the Hope in a Jar. Despite all of this and the moisturizer I use daily, however, my dermatologist recently told me that I have to start skipping shower days. I feel ya, sister.
January 10th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
Oo, what could be better than that scrub? Thanks!
January 10th, 2008 at 6:47 pm
Oh, I love philosophy. Their microderm abrasion set works really well to get rid of dry skin.
I have naturally dry skin, too. I am going to have to try the olive oil and brown sugar scrub.
January 10th, 2008 at 6:51 pm
I am so going to have to dry the chapstick/cloth duo. I’m going through tubs of Carmex and my lips still feel like they could give the Sahara a run for its money. I must check out this Hope in a Jar cult…
January 10th, 2008 at 9:41 pm
I keep hearing about this Hope In A Jar!
*Runs off to purchase hope in a jar*
January 10th, 2008 at 11:12 pm
I’m assuming you’ve tried the “put lotion/oil on while skin is still dripping wet, not even patted dry” trick, yes? I do massage for a living and can always tell when people do that. Their skin is like silk.
January 11th, 2008 at 9:47 am
Also, don’t completely dry off after a shower and moisturize then. It locks in the moisture your skin has retained from bathing (if you do, in fact, abide by that whole little hygiene thing and shower on occasion. If you don’t, then sorry, you’re SOL).
Also also, Aveeno rocks. When I lived in Denmark (read: COLD, WINDY, MISERABLE), I had my mom send me Aveeno in bulk because I’ve never found anything that keeps my own skin from resembling a crocodile. And Aquaphor is the best discovery I ever made for my pout – I was even doing a TV taping last month and the makeup artist commented that I was the first person who she had done up in weeks that didn’t have chapped lips (maybe I should do their PR!)!
January 11th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Have you seen that science channel program about the young girl(s) who must constantly slather their skin with lotion, 24/7, because they have a disease (I can’t remember the name) that causes their skin cells to shed at at an alarmingly fast rate? I am not making this up!
I started swimming again, after which my entire back and torso feels dry and itchy. I put cocoa butter on my legs and arms, but I haven’t gotten the nerve up, yet, to ask a random stranger in the gym locker room to get my back (much as I enjoy being touched by male strangers).
January 11th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
God, I freakin WISH I had dry skin. I get ashy legs, but the rest of me is like T-zone hell of oiliness and woe.
Maybe you should take fish oil. It helped Beulah!
January 12th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
Oh the aggro when Anglos flaunt their products in my European face! Why don’t you go on talking about the virtues of Philosophy, yes, WHY DON’T YOU!
That being said, my psoriasis and I will soon give your olive oil + brown sugar a try, and we’ll let you know how we fare. This is my goal scenario: one of us will be giddy, and the one pissy due to disappearance. No pressure.
January 12th, 2008 at 6:52 pm
I *love* me some Hope in a Jar; it really is a miracle. Thank you for the scrub recipe! Given that I live in an EXTREMELY HOT AND DRY apartment building (inhabited almost exclusively by crotchety old people who whine if the heat dips below 95 degrees), I think it’s safe to say I’ll be giving it a whirl soon. I’m so scaaaaaly!
January 15th, 2008 at 2:18 pm
Living in the desert, I am now an Aquaphor addict for life (Chapstick just doesn’t cut it any more).
I have tried Aveeno but all the soy and oatmeal good-for-yous actually irritated my skin so I just buy Lubriderm in bulk now.
However, now I totally want to try Hope In A Jar. It’ll probably irritate my skin too, I wonder if I coudl scam a free sample from Sephora…