When Calendars Make Guatemalan Goats Cry
Posted by Moose on January 6th, 2008. Filed under: Beautiful Moments.On January 1, I was very excited to pull out my new calendar. Because 1) I am a shameless dweeb, and 2) This was to be The Planning Calendar. The one I could point to when asked “What are we doing this weekend?” or “What time is our appointment with the Guatemalan goat herd?” I WAS GOING TO POINT AND I WAS GOING TO SMIRK AND IT WOULD HAVE BEEN GRAND.
Unfortunately for my grand smirking plan, this is what the calendar looks like, when divested of its cunning plastic wrappings:
Lovely, yes? A vintage travel poster, featuring Rome and a sight we’ve seen with our very own eyes. Memories and organization, all in one tidy wall-hanging. Now look lower. See those wee numbers? Let’s have a close-up:
You may notice the startling lack of space for intricate color-coded lists. I was under the mistaken impression that all calendars contained inches of white space for each day of the year, spaces I could fill at my leisure with Things To Be Done and Appointments To Be Kept. Alas, it is not so. I feel betrayed.
I also feel betrayed by the person who laughed hysterically as I gaped in wide-eyed astonishment at the miniature numbers, packed like sardines in a tin. The laughter was hearty, with the barest hint of mockery, and showed a total disregard for our appointments with the Guatemalan goat herds. On second thought, no I don’t. Feel betrayed by the laughter, I mean. The laughter was utterly in character. UNLIKE THE MICROSCOPIC CALENDAR NUMBERS. Which are making the Guatemalan goats feel unloved. What say you to that, calendar?
Serves me right for not inspecting something before buying it. Or, um, handing it to someone else to buy. (See New Year’s resolution #1: GET THEE SOME CASH, PRONTO.) I better get that resolution rolling, because I apparently need a new calendar. Or perhaps I could fashion myself a new resolution, one that declares “BE YE NOT SO ANAL RETENTIVE. And stop fussing about a calendar before the pulsing veins in your forehead explode.”
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January 6th, 2008 at 4:52 pm
I was given a calendar like this too. The photos are stunning but I don’t have room to write anything on the actual dates. Grrrr…
January 6th, 2008 at 5:12 pm
I TOTALLY FEEL YOUR PAIN on this one. Maybe you will become skilled with microscopic printing?
January 6th, 2008 at 6:15 pm
ha! mine was not only without large white squares, but has Monday at the start of the week not Sunday! That’s gonna take some getting used to…
January 6th, 2008 at 6:59 pm
I can see how you were dazzled by the scenery. Perhaps you could buy another and have one pretty calendar and one practical.
January 6th, 2008 at 8:36 pm
This is your Guatemalan fortune-message, obviously, that 2008 is the year of the Minimalist Moose.
Remember those free calendar booklets from Hallmark that were small enough to fit in your jeans’ back pocket? (or is that exclusively a middle-aged person’s memory?) My BFF used to write her journal in those, in teensy-weensy eye-strain-o-vision.
January 6th, 2008 at 8:45 pm
But the picture is gorgeous! And to be fair, which would you rather have – a glorious picture of Rome to escape to every so often or a reminder to go find yourself knee deep in goats trying to eat the pants right off your legs?
January 6th, 2008 at 10:48 pm
I have to say, I do love the calendar. In spite of its TREACHERY. The prints are beautiful and they match the kitchen so well. And since I use google calendar (color coded lists!), I really can’t complain. Please note that didn’t stop me.
Peter: I plan to adopt eye-strain-o-vision into my vocabulary immediately. And there’s something to the Minimalist Moose idea.
Sunny: You are quite right. Rome not goats! Rome not goats!
January 7th, 2008 at 7:28 am
I would sooooooo be irritated at the calendar too. Hello, doesn’t everyone need room to write stuff down?!
January 7th, 2008 at 8:31 am
I get really annoyed with calendars like that, as well. This from a girl who won’t buy a planner unless it designates a full page to each day of the year. Then said planner is only marked up through the first half of the first month, because said girl loses all interest and results in post-its and redneck palm pilot (i.e. WRITING ON HER HAND).
January 7th, 2008 at 10:09 pm
My very favoritest thing in the whole wide world (today, at least; can’t say about tomorrow!) is the Moleskine notebook. They’ve got blank books and lined books and graph-paper-page books and also CALENDAR books – for to writing down your things to do! And you can carry them with you because they are small and compact and yet lie flat for writing. They come in all kinds of varieties and many of them you can get from Amazon.com for less than you’d pay in a place like Borders. Anyway, it’s not a wall-calendar but since I love these notebooks so dearly I thought I’d throw out the suggestion.
January 8th, 2008 at 5:45 am
Found you from GalaDarling and just thought that I’d tell you that I think you are the funniest blogger I’ve read in a long long long time. Since dooce actually, back when dooce was funny (now she is just passe. *sigh*)
at last count I had 4 calendars – 3 with at least an inch square of space for each day and one tiny one just so I can tell what day it is when I’m in the kitchen. It’s sad that I need this, but I spent until 7pm today thinking it was wednesday and fretting over the doctors appointment I have tomorrow. Then my other half assured me it was only tuesday, but I think that may be worse because now i have a whole ‘nother day to fret. You can tell now why I need lots of calendars. If only I’ve been in the kitchen today..
I ramble a lot. But I think you are cool and I’m scared of flying tree banches as well.