Questionable Christmas Cookies

Posted by Moose on December 25th, 2007. Filed under: Tis the Season.

I am bedecked in festive holiday burns, courtesy of hours of cookie baking yesterday. Due to the state of my bank account, I’m not indulging in my normal frantic consumerism for Christmas this year. Everyone gets cookies, a state of affairs I may have belabored by announcing, whenever someone mentions Christmas, gifts, or the amount of rain we’ve been getting lately, “You’re getting cookies.” I may have repeated myself. Several times. Today, when gifts are opened I will shout “SURPRISE!” every time someone opens a package from me and finds cookies. I fully expect them to be surprised. And then dump hot chocolate on my head.

For you, my dear internet friends:

snowman cookie

I’m quite fond of his green smirk and burst blood vessels.

Vagina cookie

Rudolph: Victim of an unfortunate food coloring experiment.

Oh, Christmas tree

I was particularly proud of the Christmas tree. If you’d concocted a reasonable tree trunk with a tub of chocolate frosting and a butter knife, you’d be proud too.

Merry Christmas to you and yours! Now, me and mine are going to switch on the fire and drink some eggnog.

EDIT: Schnozz has tactfully reminded me that we made these cookies TOGETHER. And, um, last year. Apparently, I’m lazy about adequate explanations on Christmas. I’m lazy about doing anything that doesn’t directly affect my caloric intake. So to improve my moral standing, I add this message: Merry Last Christmas, from me and Schnozz!

Related posts:

  1. The Pineapple Feels Violated
  2. More Cookie Porn
  3. Moose, Patron Saint of Cookies
  4. The Dog is Just Happy We Finally Hooked Her Up With an Indoor Bathroom
  5. It’s No Roast Beast, But It’ll Do
«
»

6 Responses to Questionable Christmas Cookies

  1. pamsterish
    December 25th, 2007 at 12:58 pm

    As a recipient of some molasses spice cookies-

    DAMN THOSE R GOOD COOKIES!

  2. Angella
    December 25th, 2007 at 1:11 pm

    Mmmm…cookies…

    Merry Christmas!

  3. She Likes Purple
    December 26th, 2007 at 10:48 am

    I gave everyone hugs for Christmas.

  4. kerrianne
    December 26th, 2007 at 1:32 pm

    I made reindeer cookies this year and Chris thought they were frogs. I’m clearly a horrible baker. Happy! Christmas.

  5. All Adither
    December 27th, 2007 at 11:56 am

    Cinnamon rolls here. And if anyone complains about getting food as a gift, next year they’ll receive a plant.

  6. Heather B.
    December 28th, 2007 at 12:48 pm

    I’ve been dreaming of cookies for days and sadly I cannot have any. I’m now drooling while staring at this page. If I come to San Francisco will you make me some? Pretty please?

Leave a Reply