Cult of Bill Granger, Continued
Posted by Moose on September 26th, 2007. Filed under: I Live to Eat.Scones make me happy. Scones call to mind drizzly days, Earl Grey tea, and Jane Austen novels. (Which, to some of you, might more closely resemble the bowels of a fiery hell. Jane Austen has that affect on some people. But I bet you wouldn’t turn down a nice, fresh scone piled with cream and jam, WOULD YOU?) What scones don’t remind me of is jail. There are no scones in jail. Yes, last week had me ripping my hair out in small, tuft-y chunks. So I baked things. It’s a healthy reaction to stress and one I recommend, especially if you don’t want to be completely bald. I also recommend baking chocolate chip scones and then eating all the chocolate chips, leaving the bready bits of a ravaged scone behind. Pastry carnage, it soothes the soul.
My scone making has progressed from sodden lumps of glue* that require a box cutter to pry them off the counter and into the trashcan to scones that can be lifted with your own two hands, the way god, man, and Jane Austen intended.
Dear Bill,
Much like the unavoidable geographic disaster that occurs when someone says “just head south,” telling me to use “two ounces of butter” helps me not at all. I NEED YOU TO COME TO MY HOUSE AND MEASURE IT FOR ME. Thank you.
Love, Moose
Fantasy:
Reality:
Reality, how dost thou amuse me. You may have noticed this phenomenon after some regrettable catalog shopping when you try on the skirt, look at yourself in the mirror, look at the advertisement with the leggy model wearing the skirt, and shriek in abject horror. You never wear the skirt again, but it does come in handy for covering the mirror.
Simple Scones (From Bill Granger’s cult-inspiring cookbook
1 tablespoon confectioners’ sugar
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 tablespoons baking powder
a pinch of salt
1 cup milk
1 oz butter, melted
Preheat the oven to 425°F. Sift the sugar, flour, baking powder and salt into a bowl. Add the milk and butter and stir to combine with a knife. Knead quickly and lightly until smooth and then press out onto a floured surface. Use a glass to cut out rounds roughly 2 inches in diameter and 1 1/4 inches deep and place them close together on a greased baking tray. Gather the scraps together, lightly knead again, then cut out more rounds. Cook for 8 to 10 minutes, until puffed and golden. Serve with jam and lightly whipped cream.
* If you have an interest in train wrecks and want to read about my first scone attempt and the disaster that ensued, it’s here. (DAMN YOU, NIGELLA!)
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September 26th, 2007 at 8:58 am
I’m making the chocolate banana bread tonight. Maybe I’ll make scones soon, too.
September 26th, 2007 at 9:19 am
yum – do you think if you baked in my kitchen while I was stressed I would find relief as well? … i’m always so jealous of people who can bake. I’m a ‘cook’ which is much more forgiving….
I’m suddenly craving high tea at the Ritz or Lovejoy’s or something…
September 26th, 2007 at 9:52 am
Many, many years ago the Mister and I first visited Scotland. I had heard of scones from Jane Austen and Scrooge McDuck and needed to taste them. I went to a Scottish bakery and was instantly lost. I pointed at about a dozen lumps of dough. We tasted them all and they all seemed loaded with BB sized currents, regardless of their advertised flavor. And they were rock hard and without sweetening of any kind. It was the only disappointing thing I ever found about Scotland.
September 26th, 2007 at 10:03 am
[...] handmade *midori* wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerpt Scones make me happy. Scones call to mind drizzly days, Earl Grey tea, and Jane Austen novels. (Which, to some of you, might more closely resemble the bowels of a fiery hell. Jane Austen has that affect on some people. But I bet you wouldn’t turn down a nice, fresh scone piled with cream and jam, WOULD YOU?) What scones don’t remind me of is jail [...]
September 26th, 2007 at 3:02 pm
I love scones. My favorite are very vanilla, and when I make them I purposefully don’t eat for several hours beforehand so that I can have an excuse to eat as many as possible in one sitting. (“I haven’t eaten in so long! I’m so hungry!”) Well, anyway, it works for me.
(Also: Jane Austen. love. love. love. So much that I took an entire English class at University that was solely Jane Austen books. It was a delicious, delicious class.)
September 26th, 2007 at 4:04 pm
From The Back Nine — I wonder if you had rock cakes instead. No, seriously, they’re a thing. They look very similar to scones but taste pretty much exactly how you described. (Of course, this comes in very hand when baking scones that turn out to suck. “They’re rock cakes!” you can announce brightly to anyone who asks. Possibly this will dissuade them from spitting them out. Well, near you, anyway.)
September 26th, 2007 at 10:51 pm
Okay, but your reality still looks delicious! I’m going to have to try these…
September 27th, 2007 at 8:55 am
Mmmmm…. scones! I’m with From the Back Nine (well except the going to Scotland part). I tried scones several places here in the States, and most were lumps of flour. Course I didn’t have the clotted cream and jam to go with them, so maybe that changes it all up.
(Went to a low tea not long ago, and the scones were delicious even without the cream and jam and/or butter)
September 27th, 2007 at 3:04 pm
Yes, scones are notoriously tricky. I’ve had good ones, I’ve had weird ones (canned corn kernels do not belong in scones. I’m talking to you, New Zealand), I’ve had rock hard ones. In my opinion, they’re best when viewed as a vehicle for jam and clotted cream. A nice, light biscuit used to shovel cream down your gullet.
September 28th, 2007 at 12:25 am
So! A-ha! It’s YOUR fault it’s now drizzly and cold in England. Hmph!
September 28th, 2007 at 7:00 am
When can you move in?