Setting the Record Straight
Posted by Moose on August 23rd, 2007. Filed under: How To.I was walking home today when I spotted a dollar drifting in the weeds next to the highway overpass. Homeless people tend to congregate there, so my first thought was that someone else could use that dollar far more than I could. I kept walking. Until I remembered yesterday. Jemima and I were walking to a coffee shop when she stooped to pick up a penny. She handed it to me, saying “I always pick them up. If you don’t, I figure you’re telling the universe you already have enough money.” I snatched the penny right out of her hand.
I backed up and stared at the dollar, fluttering in the wind as it clung to the weeds. Do I leave it for someone who could really use it (to buy booze, but come on – that’s all I was going to do with it) and risk sending the wrong message? Or do I pick it up and live with the realization that I’m an ass and somewhere there’s a homeless person without booze?
I left it. I felt better about myself as a person, but am now suffering the pangs of remorse as pertain to my bank account and all those bills that insist on being paid in a timely manner.
Dear Universe,
I NEED MONEY. NO, REALLY, I DO. PLEASE SEND SOME. MAYBE IN BIGGER DENOMINATIONS THIS TIME. THANKS.
Love,
Me
I’m officially over the bend. And have been since last week, when I started sending emails to potential freelance clients with the subject line: “I am awesome. Hire me.”
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August 23rd, 2007 at 9:07 pm
That’s what I’m thinking about doing, since job loss or quitting is imminent here. Let me know if the “awesome” line works. Or the universe giving money thing (I prefer that one, okay universe??)
August 23rd, 2007 at 11:25 pm
I found you a way to make money writing even if chillins take away your free time.
http://tinyurl.com/2jflbz
August 24th, 2007 at 12:36 am
Wishing you all the luck that you’re better at saying “I’m awesome, hire me” than I am! But, maybe I’ll revisit that idea soon…
I have an early morning rendezvous for a girls’ night call-in this weekend. Will you be there??
August 24th, 2007 at 12:47 pm
There is something to be said for mercy. That is, unless you were mistaken and it wasn’t generosity, but rather your desire to not utilize too much of your job search energies to pick up the dollar.
The subject line? Priceless. Here’s one. I’m not as desperate as you might think, but definitely not too tied-down to start working for you TODAY!
heh heh
August 24th, 2007 at 6:12 pm
After I read this, I felt compelled to pay for the cookies of the homeless person behind me in line at the grocery store. On second thought, I wonder if that was slightly patronizing. Regardless, Moose, you made me a better person. For today, at least. Tomorrow he can buy his own cookies.
August 25th, 2007 at 8:34 am
The kind of booze you can buy for a buck should not be consumed by the homeless OR by you. Now a buck’s worth of low end chocolate candy …
August 27th, 2007 at 6:34 am
I’m really not into this whole bill paying thing. I don’t get it. It’s annoying and frankly I never have anything left over.
Next time pick up the dollar and keep it. It’s like a quarter of the way towards a good cup of coffee. So remember that for next time.
August 27th, 2007 at 12:35 pm
Awesome subject for the potential clients, I’d hire you
August 29th, 2007 at 2:44 pm
I hear ya sister.
I am in awe of a friend who has always been able to cobble economic opportunities together…teaching dance to youngsters, painting apartments, waiting tables, house sitting, ushering, massage therapy. Whatever she needs to move forward, she’s done it.