Walking from the Couch to the Refrigerator Counts
Posted by Moose on June 11th, 2007. Filed under: Friends.I woke up Sunday morning feeling like I’d rather skydive naked from the roof of the Transamerica Building than do what I had planned for that morning. “But I can’t exercise,” I stated matter-of-factly (where stated matter-of-factly = whined piteously). “I have a hangover.”
An eyebrow rose. “Any port in a storm, eh?”
Hmph.
I was, perhaps, exaggerating. A little. After three (maybe four) glasses of lovely prosecco-infused pomegranate-mango juice the night before, my head didn’t feel like a green monster hacking through my cranium with a chainsaw so much as a small and rather meek gnome tapping a dent out of a toaster with a spoon. So I probably could have exercised. But I didn’t. Instead, I sat in my chair, let my head loll back and closed my eyes to better cavort merrily with these in a sea of whipped cream and fresh raspberries. When I came to, I cursed myself to a fiery black pit (lots of smoke! no fauxreos!) for not taking some home with me when they were offered. Really, if I didn’t already adore Holly, her dinner party and those cookies would have won me over for life. (Hi! You’re stuck with me now! Hope you have lots of butter!)
She also kindly introduced me to Jemima who, like Holly, has a beautiful house with walls that aren’t left completely bare, even though you moved in a year ago, walls that make me vow to race immediately to Ikea for its soul-soothing aisle of picture frames. But picture frames wouldn’t even begin to close the awesome gap. Walking into Jemima’s living room, you’re greeted by the serene gaze of a wildebeest, whose head is mounted in the corner. By itself, it widens the awesome gap by about 17 feet and a few well-painted yellow walls. But Jemima didn’t just pick up a Wildebeests ‘R’ Us catalogue and order one to match the decor. She picked it out of the herd, tracked it down, and SHOT IT HERSELF. Then dragged it home and ripped the head off with her teeth, I guess. I heard the real taxidermy story, but my beer bottle kept magically refilling itself and I have no idea what that story was. (And this was before the wee glasses of limoncello.) (I’m going to have a worried voicemail from my mother tonight. I’m not a drunk. Promise.) (Really.)
I’m feeling very fond of blogs these days. I’ve met so many lovely people via my computer screen, and they’re all even better in 3-D. The skin, just as porcelain. The views on cheese, just as informed. The ability to get tipsy with me, GREATLY ENHANCED.
And they couldn’t care less if I exercise or not.
Related posts:
June 11th, 2007 at 11:06 am
Don’t you worry! I am working out enough for the both of us. I will happily send along a little sore buttocks and knotted shoulder pain so you don’t feel left out.
June 11th, 2007 at 12:01 pm
Mmmmm…. prosecco-infused pomegranate-mango juice sounds fantastic
And the homemade oreos look like heaven – I need to find someone to make me some of those
June 11th, 2007 at 1:49 pm
All right. I’ll let you off this time. But, next time the whip comes out! You know, because I have an immaculate history. A-hem…Pot meet kettle?
June 12th, 2007 at 9:47 am
That oreo photo is my new wallpaper. Come to mama.