Must Be Spring
Posted by Moose on March 29th, 2007. Filed under: My Brain Needs a Drink.My last post about the kids and the having thereof consisted of what I like to call “considering the possibilities” and “being thoughtful”. Some laidback circles might be tempted to call it “rising hysteria.” This is why I don’t talk to these peope, these laidback people who don’t even know how to make a proper list.
Today, instead of the hysteria we all know and love, I am listing reasons that make me think babies are a good idea. Rather than small, wriggling hams that embody the end to all your freedom, you who have never traversed Tibet on a goat or even gotten well and truly drunk. Reasons that might help me loosen my death grip on the birth control pills.
We could take him/her skiing!
(So I could bite off my tongue each and every time the child falls into the snow. The wet, evil snow. Note to self: buy more tongues.)
When we went skiing a few weeks ago, I was suitably concerned when someone plowed halfway down a steep slope on his face, but contented myself with yelling up the hill, “Hey! You alive?” and taking off before I got an answer. At that point, “Hey! Do you still have the car key?” would have been more useful, but we didn’t know that yet. If my kid fell, I would probably be climbing back up the mountain on my hands and knees to check for contusions. This would be embarrassing for both of us and probably unnecessary. I will have to tamp down this crawling up snowy slopes instinct as I don’t want to be that overprotective mother who races her child to the emergency room just because he/she made a little sound in their throat that sounds like it might have been a cough. Or a swallowed frog. Or maybe some Drano.
Compromise: I get to take him/her to the emergency room if Drano is involved.
Baby heads! So sweet!
(Baby heads with the mouths that quickly learn projectile vomiting is fun and should be done at every opportune moment, those moments being the ones when mom has just changed into a fresh shirt for the first time in three days.)
To my credit, I wasn’t even thinking of this, which I admit have always made my ovaries twitch from the cuteness. Because a baby! That looks like a strawberry! Twitch! But, come on. I’ll be too busy spending my money on pints of ice cream to buy the kid cute hats.
Daily readings of Goodnight Moon and Where the Wild Things Are!
With an actual child, not just because these are exemplary works of American literature and no, it’s not weird at all for a full-grown woman to be reading kids books at the book store. It’s not.
If my child isn’t a reader, I honestly have no idea what I’ll do. Probably be forced to learn the rules to football or something. (Oh, dear sweet god of organized sports, no. I’m begging you.)
I’m sorry, is this post also full of rising hysteria?
Yes. Also, many obnoxious parentheticals.
Right. OK. How about: Gleefully messing with his/her little brain.
Sold!
So, anyway.
Gleeful brainwashing and mandatory episodes of Spongebob Squarepants aside, I’m wondering how much good the lists and frantic mommy blog reading is doing my decision-making process. It’s not really a decision about whether or not to have children, it’s more a decision about whether or not to have them now. Well, not right now. But the “sooner than 35″ now. This whole thing is all starting to remind me of how I ended up in London for a semester my junior year of college. I hadn’t quite decided if I wanted to go, but I knew if I did go I would need to file some paperwork (might as well file it), find some housing (oh, there’s something on the internet, click), so I casually went down my list, just in case, and then a few months later found myself in London wondering what exactly had happened.
This may not be the best way to go about having a child.
Maybe I should stop making lists. Lists obviously get me in trouble. Or maybe I’ll make them, but I won’t go buying any cute strawberry baby hats. Or maybe I’ll just accidentally find myself in London.
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March 30th, 2007 at 12:39 am
I have a number of comments. So I’ll list them. He, he. First, you will never stop making lists. We all know that. And that’s okay. It makes you who you are. Second, there is nothing wrong with reading children’s books as an adult without a child. I’ve got a whole section on my shelves devoted to them. A section that will have to be replicated when we have children because I am not having my Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs defaced by crayons. Third, having children validates checking out people’s strollers as others do fancy cars. (Hmmm…or, maybe that’s just me.) Fourth, I think you should definitely find yourself in London. When you do, call me.
March 30th, 2007 at 5:45 am
OK – you are wondering if you should have babies now, or say, after thirty five? do it sooner rather than later.
I’m a new mom at 43. I came across this post, recommended, I think, by Antiquemommy (http://antiquemommy.typepad.com) Go over here now and read:
http://mylevelofawareness.com/2007/03/21/a-bad-example-is-sometimes-the-best-one/
The post so completely captured my sadness at my daughter being my only (back before I realized I was carrying her sister!)But it should be required reading for all when-should-I moms. Do not risk doing what I’m doing, wondering how much I am limiting my kids by my limited energy.
Take care, love the blog.
March 30th, 2007 at 10:45 am
The strawberry hat is adorable.
Good luck with the baby now? baby later? thing. I feel your pain.
March 30th, 2007 at 11:18 am
“so I casually went down my list, just in case, and then a few months later found myself in *motherhood* wondering what exactly had happened”
So far as I’ve observed from all of my friends who have spawned progeny, the above statement is *exactly* “how it happened”. Very much like finding yourself in London.
It is Spring. I’m about to turn 41 and I’m still puzzling over these questions – minus the BCPs which haven’t been in the picture for years. Still not a mom, but not willing to try modern science to tip the equation. But I’m content knowing I’m fine with or without those lovely bundles of joy and panic. I get to lavish my niece and god-children with my gratitude and misplaced mommy-dom (and then send them home to their parents – tee hee). My recommendation, go “borrow” your friend’s kid, if you can. New moms usually appreciate someone who is interested in taking the kid for a trial “tour around the block”, it gives them a break and perhaps some camaraderie in a somewhat isolating journey of motherhood. I fortunately have never injured any of them (though I nearly dropped one in a joyous bouncing episode – near miss) despite a love for fast downhill rolling “radio flyers”.
March 30th, 2007 at 7:07 pm
If your kids at first don’t think they’re cut out to be readers, they’ll have your mom and me to deal with!