Lesbian Moving Brigade
Posted by Moose on March 5th, 2007. Filed under: Friends.On Saturday, I helped two friends move from their small house to their new, larger house. I was only 45 minutes late. I consider this an accomplishment of astonishing magnitude. In fact, I would like some applause. Go ahead, I’ll wait. A staggering number of people showed up to stack and drag and maneuver. When I moved, the only person I could get to help me haul boxes up three flights of stairs was my dad. Probably because I didn’t offer chips and large sandwiches. I would do most anything for some chips and a large sandwich. Even pretend to be gay.
I haven’t been in a room with so many lesbians since I graduated from college. Someone declared us the All-Lesbian Moving Brigade. Which is totally awesome. I didn’t want to sully the awesomeness by noting that I’m actually straight. The short hair and glasses do tend to throw people. I went on a blind date once with a guy who informed me, in a not terribly admiring tone of voice, that I looked like a lesbian. I refrained from mentioning that he looked like a chicken. I’m classy like that.
S. and J. bought a lovely little house, one that makes me want to yell “YOU’RE ALMOST THIRTY! YOU ARE FAR TOO YOUNG TO BE HOMEOWNERS!” Instead of immediately selling the house and waiting until a more respectable homeowning age of, say, 55, they discussed the state of their new gutters.
What the hell is a gutter?
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March 5th, 2007 at 3:48 pm
I’m sad I couldn’t have been a part of the All-Lesbian Moving Brigade! Token straight girl reporting for duty!
March 5th, 2007 at 3:56 pm
You are a much better friend than I am…I have a no moving policy. Which can be traced back to a selfish friend who asked me to pack her freaking closet and move it from Hayward to Modesto. Aaack!
March 5th, 2007 at 4:18 pm
Thanks for your help, Moose! We love you even if you’re not a lesbian.
March 5th, 2007 at 4:55 pm
I was a homeowner at 22, and I even knew what gutters were…but I wasn’t a lesbian…:(
March 5th, 2007 at 5:03 pm
Jason, you also live in the Midwest, where houses don’t cost like two million dollars. It’s kind of a factor.
March 5th, 2007 at 5:43 pm
A gutter is the place that blind date guy should be kicked into.
March 5th, 2007 at 5:59 pm
So you were an honorary Lesbian?
“I’m not a Lesbian, but I play one on TV”?
But are you sure you want to sully the S. and J. gutter with Bozo Chicken Boy?
*small voice* I owned my own house at 22 too, and yep, from the Midwest */small voice*
We always serve pizza & beer for our moving brigades with a promise of a steak cookout to be served up as soon as we locate the grill, silverware, and some sort of plate like thing.
March 5th, 2007 at 10:01 pm
The rule for moving brigades, EVEN BEFORE pizza, sandwiches or pad thai, is to have toilet paper left out at the old place, and toilet paper clearly handy at the new place. Pointing out the obvious.