If By “Charm” You Mean “Crazy”
Posted by Moose on February 15th, 2007. Filed under: Daily.If you hear someone muttering “juggling geese, juggling geese” while shuffling down the street, that someone is probably me.
My (admittedly incomplete) knowledge of geese is that they are unfriendly creatures. Try tossing one or more in the air and you’ll end up cursing all goslings from here to Mississippi and clutching your forehead with its fresh beak-shaped indentations. You will also be missing a thumb. My advice? Instead of throttling the goose that ate your thumb, and is now spitting out the nail with a casual “pitooie” that makes you wish you knew how to roast goose because OH HOW THAT GOOSE WOULD BE DINNER, just walk away.
I have a lot of self-imposed geese in my life. So now, when I feel somewhat overwhelmed by the multitudes of geese, instead of trying to juggle them, I am going to walk away and go visit the chickens instead. And it’s OK, because no one is meant to juggle geese. And the chickens get lonely. They need love and affection.
So every time I get down on myself, foster some delusional expectation, or really do anything that causes me to annoy the ever-living crap out of myself, I will chant “Geese aren’t meant to be juggled.” And, for special occasions, “The chickens need love too, you know!”
I have my own special brand of charm, don’t I?
February 15th, 2007 at 6:16 pm
whoa. causes of stress are WAY more fun when given entertaining animal imagery!
also, in my head goose-juggling takes place with “Put Down the Ducky” playing in the background. i appear to be mixing my waterfowl metaphors.
February 16th, 2007 at 12:03 am
is this all akin to “don’t let the turkeys get you down”? (in keeping with the feathered friend theme)….
hang in there either way…
February 16th, 2007 at 3:43 am
Watch out for bird flu. Long prolonged contact can get ya. Better to stick with the monkeys.
February 16th, 2007 at 3:45 am
Long prolonged? Hmmm…I should totally be awake by now!
February 16th, 2007 at 5:29 am
The good thing about geese is that they always leave on their own eventually. They’re mean, obnoxious, and leave a big mess–but they’re migratory stressors.
February 16th, 2007 at 7:32 am
I generally have no idea what you are talking about, but it’s always such a good read.
February 16th, 2007 at 8:41 am
I never thought I’d read the sentence “I have a lot of self-imposed geese in my life,” and I have a site with “geese” in the TITLE.
February 16th, 2007 at 11:12 am
The geese will always be there, and the chickens get so lonely.
I am in awe. Mostly confused, but still filled with awe.
February 16th, 2007 at 12:54 pm
Get rid of the gaggles….get the giggles. stick with the owls…they’re a hoot!!!!
February 16th, 2007 at 12:56 pm
You’ve got to put down the ducky if you want to play the saxophone.
February 27th, 2007 at 1:44 pm
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