This Weekend I…

Posted by Moose on December 10th, 2006. Filed under: Daily.

1. Clocked my head with the business end of a desk.

2. Heard my mother say, “I don’t think I’m a Buddhist any more.”

3. Convinced someone to buy me a large piece of furniture.

4. Learned that upside down Christmas trees aren’t, in fact, a lie perpetuated to taunt the gullible.

5. Made some very tasty mulled wine.

6. Drank most of it myself.

7. Tried to blog drunk.

8. Failed.*

9. Engaged in gratuitous list-making.

~~~

*My laptop has a handy feature. Apparently, the screen registers the user’s blood alcohol level from his or her breath and, when it detects dangerous levels of red wine and brandy, changes the “publish” button to the “Are you sure?” window. I shouted, “Of course I’m sure, asshole!” and clicked “yes” with an inebriated flourish. And my post disappeared. It was for the best.

7 Responses to This Weekend I…

  1. Whyioughtta

    Which is the business end of a desk? And is yours a boy or a girl?

  2. A Random Person

    I’ve always wanted to blog drunk. however – it seems that when I’m drunk, I also become a cautious coward, and my pickled little brain goes: “maybe you shouldn’t do that” and I always end up going to bed instead.

  3. Moose

    Whyioughtta: business end of the desk = the really, really pointy sharp edge, the one that had the side of my head swelling to grotesque proportions in less than 10 seconds. It was totally awesome.

    RP: I am not as smart as you are. I needed the computer to physically reject my post. But it worked – I still have no idea where the thing went.

  4. Jhianna

    Mmmm… mulled wine. Aw man – my laptop hates me. It just loves to post my drunk bloggings.

  5. Jess R

    What I want to know is your secret for number three. And are you willing to share the recipe for mulled wine?

  6. Moose

    Hey Jess,

    Here’s my highly scientific mulled wine recipe:

    Dump a liter of red wine into a pot (I buy my wine in liters because I’m classy that way.)

    Toss in half a cup or three fourths of a cup of brandy

    Stir in half a cup of sugar (or to taste, I like me a lot of sugar)

    Add a handfull of mulling spices

    Slice an orange or two and add to pot

    Stir occasionally over low heat for about 20 minutes

    Perform complicated maneuvers with a strainer to get keep the spices out of your cup while getting the alcohol in

    Avoid blogging

  7. Sphincter

    OOH! I’m going to try mulling wine, too, then! Hopefully I’ll leave out the desk part. Time will tell about the blog part.

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