The Dog is Just Happy We Finally Hooked Her Up With an Indoor Bathroom
Posted by Moose on December 7th, 2006. Filed under: Holidays, Misadventures, Photos, San Francisco.
Filled with rugged ardor, we trekked into the Santa Cruz Mountains last Saturday to chop down a fresh, reasonably priced Christmas tree. “Fresh” and “reasonably priced” are excellent standards for a tree. Another good one might have been “the right height.”
I am here to tell you that trees look a lot smaller in the great outdoors, my friends.
Our standards took a beating that day. Fresh and fragrant, yes. Able to fit into our living room, no. As San Francisco living rooms tend to boast high ceilings, this really doesn’t say much for my spatial awareness. “Of course it’s not too big! It’s perfect! In fact, it may be a bit small. But we’ll make do.” Please enjoy a hearty laugh at my expense. You’ve earned it. Impromptu tree surgery made the tree fit. But no procedure could regain the smug satisfaction of a bargain .
After trussing up the tree for its ride to its new adoptive home, and driving halfway down the mountain, we realized that a pair of expensive sunglasses were missing. Sunglasses I was entrusted with so someone could saw at a tree in a sweaty, sap-filled fervor while I stared at the crisp, blue sky whistling a little ditty. Reasonably priced becomes far less so when you add the cost of a new pair of expensive sunglasses. Expensive because the glasses must block all errant sun beams, sun beams which may cause the wearer to crumble into a small pile of ashes. Glasses should also block pungent dog farts. Add in the price of gas and our bargain was looking considerably less bargain-like.
But the tree is quite happy, if shorter, in its new home. It wears its new accessories well and seems rather pleased to exude such a warm glow. I try to ease the loss of its tree friends by explaining the fun we’ll have when we set it on fire at Ocean Beach on New Year’s Day. “And then you’ll go up in flames and shower sparks in a glorious display of festivity!” Unimpressed, the tree glares at me and drips sap on my head.
December 7th, 2006 at 6:20 pm
Ah, yes, the too-short trees and the too-tall trees, as well as the Charlie Brown trees. I’ve had them all. And then there was the Christmas manzanita tree a neighbor accessorized when we lived in the woods.
December 7th, 2006 at 9:30 pm
We have an artificial tree for the years when we’ll be away for Christmas and don’t want to come home to find just a trunk with no needles in the stand. We put it up this year because we don’t have the extra money for a tree when we have the fake one. We got it on clearance a few years ago, and we weren’t sure what size we should get, but thought we had eight foot ceilings. The tree is seven and a half feet tall. When I put it up last year, it scraped the ceiling. Good thing we never found a tree topper that both of us liked.
And when we leave the house now, Rufus not only hears “BE GOOD,” he also hears “AND DON’T PEE ON THE TREE.”
December 8th, 2006 at 4:29 am
Chris is in Alabama right now, and his brother’s dog, Lady, has a pesky, but slightly endearing, habit of knocking lights and limbs and ornaments about the living room while she wags her (strong!) tail to and fro while she greets incoming guests. (They put the tree just a little! too close to the front door, so that it could be seen in the window, you see.) : )
(Oh, and also: Pretty! (truncated) tree, you’ve got there, lady.)
December 8th, 2006 at 7:40 am
That is a very nice looking tree you have there!! Very Christmasy. I also want to commend you on going and cutting down a tree yourself. That is one of the few Christmas traditions I grew up with and it is probably my favorite!! There is nothing like picking your own tree out of a field!
December 8th, 2006 at 5:17 pm
Trees just have no sense of duty these days…
“It was a pleasure to burn.”
December 11th, 2006 at 9:14 am
ooooh pretty!