One Small Cog in the Great Machinery of Messed Up Politics
Posted by Moose on November 7th, 2006. Filed under: My Brain Needs a Drink.Little in this world makes me feel more alarmingly clueless than voting. First of all, I didn’t even realize today was voting day until, well, today. Out the window went all my plans of careful preparation, complete with large pulpy voter’s information booklet, stacks of highlighters and red pencils, and pots of coffee to keep me fueled long into the night while I saved the world with my flawlessly cast vote.
Undaunted, I sallied off into the internet to figure out what all those propositions mean and which political scion would receive my all-important vote. Only to become really, really confused. Luckily, I have friends who will tell me how to vote. I like people who work for nonprofit environmental political-type places and who have my email address and aren’t afraid to use it. I especially like these people when they patiently break down propositions for me, using really short sentences.
I jotted down my initial decisions on a post-it note and began scouting a route from the train to the voting station and calculated how fast I would have to run and how fast the line would have to move so I could both vote and arrive at my dance class on time.
Unfortunate realization of the day, no. 632: I’ve (somewhat) recently moved. This is the first time I’ve voted in the neighborhood. Was I supposed to do something about that? Call someone? Pay the mafia? Fill out a form, maybe? Am I still on the list in my old neighborhood? Will I be denied if I try to go vote in the new place? The place where no one knows I live, cause I never really mentioned it in any official capacity? Will my decisive post-it note remain unused?
Just as well. You don’t really want someone like me voting anyway.
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November 7th, 2006 at 7:43 pm
Dammit, if this apolitical moron can vote YOU can vote! And no…you cannot just show up. But I could somehow go to 2 places? I seem to registered at 2 addresses.
November 8th, 2006 at 12:02 pm
You’d THINK, wouldn’t you? But no. My unimaginable incompetence becomes more sharply defined with every passing year. I love that. I just keep topping myself.
November 8th, 2006 at 2:11 pm
Well moose, at least you can impress your self! I was working and my boss asked me if i wanted to vote, and what went through my head
two hours off of work in the middle of the day…
“YESSS I WANT TO VOTE”
and i got lunch and went home to visit the cat
November 8th, 2006 at 3:39 pm
provisional ballots!