Five Reasons You Shouldn’t Take Advice from Me

Posted by Moose on November 3rd, 2006. Filed under: Random Lists.

Response to Someone Who Tells You She’s Participating in NaNoWriMo: “I was going to do that! But I’m not crazy.”

Caring for a Small Hungry Chinchilla: Wait until 11 p.m. Drive 15 minutes to where the chinchilla is. Get out of the car. Walk to the door. Realize you left the house keys at home. Drive 15 minutes home. Get keys. Drive 15 minutes back. Feed ungrateful chinchilla. Drive 15 minutes home (again).

Best Use of Brand New White Sheets: Make yourself a plate of crackers, cheddar cheese and nice oily salami and climb into bed.

Decide Not to Eat Any More Sugar: Eat 16 starbursts five minutes later. Self Control is just a mythical land, 12 miles down the road from Bloggers Who Get Paid for Blogging.

I Can’t Count: I don’t seem to have a number 5. Or I forgot what it is. Hard to say. Who wants a starburst?

Related posts:

  1. Lame Thursday. Sort of Like Ash Wednesday. Only Not.
  2. New York Mice Have Good Taste
  3. Less Guilt. More Cheetos.
  4. Why I Have Doritos Crumbs in My Belly Button

4 Responses to Five Reasons You Shouldn’t Take Advice from Me

  1. squid

    who ever said eating in bed is bad is retarted, i mean you do EVERY thing else in bed right?!

  2. Jhianna

    Oooh ooh – me, me! I wanna starburst!

  3. Jess

    Where is this magical land of Self Control of which you speak? I seem to have never heard of it myself.

  4. meredith

    Somewhere in my early 20′s, those partying days, I burnt the brain cells that can count in the high 80′s. At the time I often had to count cash and I always lost 86 and 87. Just gone.

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