Pointless melodrama, thou art mine. NaBloPoMo was relatively painless. (Stairs after six pieces of pecan pie, not so much.) Sure, the barrel got scraped up to its nether regions, the ones that shrieked pitifully for mercy, but I never resorted to posting pictures of my bed head. Haikus about belly button lint made a brief [...]
What you are about to read is the sad, sad product of writers block. Part of my job is to write about theater. My attempts to stay employed sometimes go horribly awry. I decided to write whatever popped to mind, just to keep typing. It didn’t help, if you care. Since NaBloPoMo doesn’t end for [...]
It mostly involves eating cake.
My computer battery is fully charged. Which means I have approximately 20 minutes before the computer beeps forlornly and goes black. Not unlike an alcoholic spilling his sixth unmixed drink before falling face-first into cold mashed potatoes with a gin-soaked splat. If you’re wondering about the gin reference, it’s my nod to Kerouac’s On the [...]
“Fill out these forms in triplicate, file them with the proper office, and I’ll get back to you sometime next week.” Why am I the only one who ever thinks this is funny?
I was a late bloomer in every way it’s possible to bloom late. I didn’t discover Ani DiFranco until I was in college. I didn’t go out on my first date until I was 22. I didn’t discover hair products until two weeks ago. I’m still waiting for cleavage. As you may intuit from that [...]
I’m currently on a farm in Oregon. Misty mountains and fields of unfriendly cows beckon, but I’m only interested in the couch. And the snacks. Nine driving hours were required to haul ourselves, the dog, and the accompanying massive appetites up to a farm whose suitably farm-like accoutrements include staring livestock, cast-iron stove merrily roasting [...]
Fred sat on his bed, all alone in his shed Pondering his own demise. Innocent was he, til suddenly He learned of a recipe. ~ Through the swinging door Flounced a woman, bound for the store. Her list noted sherry, butter, onions, and spread With which to baste poor, succulent Fred. ~ Fred gobbled in [...]
There was a young turkey named Fred Who was forced to live in a shed ‘Twas quite all right, for six dark nights ‘Til he realized someone wanted him dead ~~~ Does Fred escape? Find out tomorrow!
Trust me, I don’t want to be that girl. (You know the one. She wears a lot of lip gloss and cringes when the dial is spun to NPR.) If I had a choice in the matter, I would have killer debate skills, a wide-ranging knowledge of world events, and a keen sense of How [...]
