Moose in the Kitchen

I promised you interviews, didn’t I? And cookies. Far be it from me to deny you, my doves. Therefore, I will soon be transcribing inspirational messages from humble folk who have risen to dizzying heights of fame and fortune, rescued crippled orphans from burning buildings, and revelled in the presence of Josh Hartnett with his shirt off.

My choice was fraught with indecision. There was much rending of garments and wails of ‘Oh Great Biscuit in the sky, how shall I decide?’ My choice was eventually made the way all my choices are made – via sheer laziness. (Hint: involves eeni-meeney-miney-moe.) Also, this. THIS, PEOPLE! (In case you missed that link the first time.) My god. The mastery.

Geese Aplenty, you win. The cookies and the opportunity to spend some of your precious time speaking with someone who may or may not sound like Minnie Mouse on acid. You have revelled in the presence of Josh Hartnett with his shirt off, right? If not, I’m afraid I may to rethink my decision. [Thinking. Thinking. Sick of thinking.] I guess I’ll overlook any Josh Hartnett deficiency because you’re making me a mix tape. Don’t think I’d forgotten. (Did I just say mix tape? Is that like composing a mix 8-track? A mix 45? A mix victrola?)

As with most of my cookie contests, I will now demonstrate the complete ineptitude with which I make decisions. More accurately, with which I don’t make decisions. I didn’t actually choose a winner here. Why? Because all of the suggestions pretty much rocked. Especially the Cookie Monster proposal. Don’t think I wouldn’t interview a large blue puppet whose sole claim to fame is shooting off his mouth while shoving 16 cookies into the gaping hole. We obviously have much in common.

My detailed plan to assume control of the world now includes doing interviews on a semi-regular basis. Hence (here’s where the lack o’ decision making comes in, if you were waiting with bated breath to see how that last unfinished paragraph panned out), I plan to work my way slowly through the list, sending out cookies as I go. (Geese Aplenty, please don’t let this diminish your keen sense of triumph. Remember, you get the cookies first. First is always best. Unless you’re a lemming.) Those of you who nominated yourself or others, send me an email at mooseinthekitchen(at)gmail(dot)com. We’ll go from there. Be warned, to receive cookies and interviews, I will need contact info.

I promise that I’m far too sluggish to take the bus to your house and poke my camera into your living room window to take a picture of you scratching something uncouth.

Related posts:

1. Soon = Whenever My Lazy Tail Gets Off the Couch
2. Proclamation: Indecisive People Are Henceforth Banned From Running Contests
3. Return of the Ever-Elusive Cookie Contest
4. Moose, Patron Saint of Cookies
5. In the Name of Journalism