Dear Sugar Bowl Bakery,

Posted by Moose on September 27th, 2006. Filed under: I Live to Eat.

Please stop lacing your baked goods with crack. Seriously. Just stop. I finally fit into that skirt I bought six months ago but haven’t been able to zip since, and I don’t appreciate you jeopardizing this situation.

In future, please make sure your brownie bites, your madeleines, and your flaky little heart-shaped cookie things are just as tasty, but with zero fat. A few calories are OK. I’m not entirely unreasonable. Say, two. Two calories. Per box.

Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter.

Love, Moose

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2 Responses to Dear Sugar Bowl Bakery,

  1. kerri
    September 28th, 2006 at 2:20 am

    Can you imagine! how many cookies one could eat, if said cookies boasted TWO calories PER BOX? That is pure genuis, Moose, and I highly suggest that you get to work on creating such a cookie. No, seriously. Drop whatever you’re doing right now, because obviously a two calorie box of cookies is more important. ; )

    Genuis! I say.

  2. Moose
    September 28th, 2006 at 7:44 am

    I need a genius grant for this. So I can go out and buy a large chef hat, a mixing bowl, and a cabana boy. (The cabana boy would, um, fetch things. And sift flour. Yeah.)

    My brilliance will not be stifled!