Moose, Patron Saint of Cookies
Posted by Moose on August 22nd, 2006. Filed under: I Live to Eat.You all thought I was lying when I promised to send cookies to the good people inside my computer, didn’t you? I can forgive your faithless ways. But only after I prove how wrong you are. Behold the cookie packages:
Yes, I wrapped them. Yes, they appear to be packaged by an enthusiastic, though not terribly bright, four-year old. Yes, I baked the cookies on Sunday. Yes, they won’t get mailed until Wednesday morning. Why do you people ask such insolent questions? I didn’t have any packing tape. You try sending untaped packages. The post office is alarmingly anal about such things. But cookies, like fine wine, grow better as they age. Flavors become more complex. Texture becomes more satisfyingly crunchy. Surfaces get covered with more decorative mold.
Oh, and one of the packages has a note for Sam. Unfortunately, when I went to address the packages, I couldn’t remember exactly which one had the note. I am not stupid, I am absent-minded. There’s a difference. If you repeat this to yourself often enough, you will almost begin to believe it. Sam, if there’s no note, email me for the address for those return cookies. I hope you remember that promise, because I certainly have. I may be absent minded, but my clarity of thought is astonishing when cookies are on the line. If someone else gets an envelope labeled “Sam,” feel free to open and enjoy. Same incoherent ramblings, new illegible handwriting. You would all get nice hand-written notes, but I’m lazy.
Moral of the story: cookies coming soon.
P.S. I ate five Godiva truffles today. Send help. Also, more chocolate.
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August 22nd, 2006 at 10:56 pm
Those wrapped packages sure gave me my belly-laugh for the day!
August 23rd, 2006 at 4:55 am
one day, i shall earn a package. just you watch. just you wait.
unless that sounded too ominous. otherwise just forget i said it.
August 23rd, 2006 at 7:21 am
A colleague of mine dropped off 15 bars of assorted Lindt chocolate this morning.
Best. Office. Ever.
August 23rd, 2006 at 2:00 pm
There once was a Moose who had cookies,
To give to whomever she choosies.
I write a wee plea,
please send one to me!
To the mailbox I go and have look-sees.
Dear readers, please have no dismay.
With the cookies, there’s been a delay.
For I have a real life
With no help of a wife.
I don’t sit and eat bon-bons all day!
Here we are, near the end of the tale,
For the cookies are off in the mail!
Happy, dancing is me
(if you looked in to see)
Like a dog who is chasing her tail.
(I fear there might be one more stanza when they arrive, so beware.)
But otherwise, big grins. You’ve brightened an otherwise dull and uninteresting day.
August 24th, 2006 at 8:23 am
Hey Moose!
I’ve been thinking about your mood swing posts, the cooking post and you mention St. John Wort’s tea. I had been an avid useer of S.J.W. for quite a while. My B.f. at the time pointed out that when I used it however I swung madly from the blues (which is when I started the herbs) to manic and then crashed into a mucusy mess of ick. After the crash I seemed to stabilize just fine. Maybe the crash was induced by the herbs, maybe it was coming anyway but I quit using the S.J.W. and I find my lows and highs less drastic. Everyone is different though. Thought you might like to hear my story, I sure didn’t see the cycle until it was pointed out to me.
August 24th, 2006 at 8:36 pm
EEEEE! Cookies are coming! Yeehaw!
August 25th, 2006 at 2:06 pm
Thanks for all the lovely comments, guys. Bea: I am looking into ditching the tea and eating more cookies instead. Sam: Sorry again about your cookies. Ahem.