Tastes Better Too
Posted by Moose on June 29th, 2006. Filed under: Meat Suit.Ill as I felt eating eight cookies in a row, I believe that particular porcine demonstration has become my good luck charm – on par with the athletic socks a winning basketball player won’t take off for three months straight or the rabbit’s foot that evil, evil rabbit-killing people put on their key chains in a massive display of karmic stupidity. Yes, I eat meat. What’s your point?
After mainlining eight cookies, I went to a dance rehearsal and kicked ever-loving ass. Relatively speaking, of course. I was still the least competent person in the room – but I was 76 percent more competent than usual. We learned a three minute routine in two and a half hours and I remember every goddamn bit. This is the equivalent of Dick Cheney being named Savior of the Planet and apes learning to crochet. My usual reaction in dance class is to learn one half of a 30-second routine and then promptly forget it. This impresses no one.
I was nervous about this rehearsal because it is a bit of an audition to see if I can perform in an upcoming piece that has been categorized Really Damn Cool. It’s a collaboration with live musicians (live musicians are HOT, I want me some of this action) and performed in a theatre. An actual theatre. Which is not a bar. Hello, moving up in the world! I was recently informed that the Cowell Theatre seats 450 people. I really need to stop eating cake.
Moral of the story: Worried about your performance capabilities? Eat cookies! Lots of them!
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