Wherein She Yells Like a Crazy Person For No Good Reason
Posted by Moose on May 10th, 2006. Filed under: My Brain Needs a Drink.Hi.
I’m alive. Just in case you were wondering, given the fact that I didn’t post yesterday and I clearly feel my life is not worth living if I don’t post every goddamn day of the week. Except weekends. Because, you know, I do have other commitments. Commitments like lying on the couch while the dog breathes on me. Her breath smells like kibble. And whatever she’s licked off the dirty floor most recently. I try not to let her breath on me very often.
I’ve been a little under the weather. There were donuts in the office yesterday and I DIDN’T EVEN WANT ONE. This is serious, people. I immediately went home and climbed into bed. I stayed there until about 8:00 this morning. I got up for ginger ale. I read an entire novel. I’m not going to tell you which one because I don’t want to surrender my coolly intellectual reputation. Wait, you say I don’t have a coolly intellectual reputation, accented by my excellent taste? Never mind then. But I’m still not telling you what I read. OK, I’ll give you a hint. It’s worse than chick lit. Only slightly better than Danielle Steele. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?
I haven’t forgotten about the cookie contest. I feel guilty about having not posted a winner yet. There will be a winner. That winner will get cookies. Just not right this very moment. Or the very moment after this very moment. In fact, there will probably be a lot of moments in between now and the cookies.
Speaking of guilt over cookie contests, I’m trying to eradicate needless guilt from my life. How’s that going for you, Moose? Answer: Not well. I’ve felt guilty three times since I woke up this morning. Three. It’s not even 11:00 a.m. yet.
So I’m deciding not to feel guilty about deviating from my self-imposed cookie schedule. ALL YOU SUCKERS ARE GOING TO HAVE TO WAIT! WAIT, DO YOU HEAR ME!
Yes, we hear you, YOU’RE SCREAMING AT US IN ALL CAPS!
Sorry. It’s the drugs. Except that I’m not on any drugs. Apparently I’m ornery from missing out on my donut yesterday. Please excuse me while I go remedy the situation.
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