Lame Thursday. Sort of Like Ash Wednesday. Only Not.
Posted by Moose on May 4th, 2006. Filed under: My Brain Needs a Drink.I’m wearing my “Writing well is the best revenge” t-shirt today. I’m not feeling very vengeful though. I’m feeling more…lame. Not lame as in, Woke up, discovered my limbs had been chewed to stubby nubbins by evil rodents, and now I’m pulling myself around with my arms. Not exactly. Besides, that would be less “lame” and more “really goddamn annoying, now where’s my bazuka?” (Fully realizing that revenge on rats is best gained with a pellet gun, as they won’t fully appreciate a carefully worded letter of complaint.) No. Lame in that I left my keys in the bathroom yesterday afternoon and they were gone two hours later. Lame in that we now have to change the locks on the office doors, and I have to figure out how to get a new car key. That kind of lame.
I feel like I should be kicking some ass in this shirt. Instead, I’m searching the refrigerator and the recycling bin for my errant keys. I’m still hoping for a last minute reprieve, a “you’re harebrained enough to leave your keys in the coffee pot, but not quite harebrained enough to lose them entirely” kind of thing. Hope is dwindling.
Most recent update on lameness: You can’t get into the bathroom without a key. Or the patience to wait until someone with a key uses the bathroom and opens the door for you. Or skill with a paper clip. Which means that I’ve been using the office’s spare key. Guess what I did with that key? Yes, I misplaced it. I asked all the interns. Nada. I borrowed my boss’s key to check the bathroom. No key. I came back, sat at my desk and pondered my lameness. Then I checked my coat pocket. Oh, hey, look. It’s a bathroom key.
At least the rats haven’t gotten my legs yet.
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