I’ve Already Ordered the Earmuffs
Posted by Moose on May 3rd, 2006. Filed under: Travel.One of my favorite moments in Antigua was on the last day of our trip. We were staggering back from the beach (why spend two whole hours sober, when there’s a bar right there on the sand?), when we heard a ferret being gutted by a rusty saw. We looked to our left, the direction the sound was coming from, and saw only the harbor with a ship sailing in. Nary a bloody ferret to be found. Then we noticed a man at on the prow of the boat, playing a set of bagpipes.
Classics Week was just beginning and boats of the teak and brass variety manned by crews of tan blondes in matching red shorts were sailing from all over the world to participate in the my-wood-is-shinier-than-yours extravaganza. The boat with the bagpipe player installed on the prow was clearly taking the We Need To Impress You People We Don’t Know one step further. As such maneuvers go, it totally worked. Regal ship sailing in as the sun begins to set over the mountains, with a man in a kilt wailing out a stately bagpipe tune. Undeniably cool.
What will be less cool is the sound of a not-so-stately bagpipe playing in our basement. Which is where the bagpipe aspirant will end up, if a bagpipe actually enters our house.
Yes, it’s true. I actually know someone who wants to learn how to play the bagpipe. What’s more, he lives in my house. More specifically, I live in his. Meaning relegating him to the basement will be THAT MUCH MORE DIFFICULT. How about a soundproof cage in the backyard? Better yet, a field in Salinas.
It was only a matter of time. Various instruments have been pondered: fiddle, banjo, accordion. I suggested the kazoo. But our trip to the Caribbean sealed my fate: the bagpipe it is. Industrious craigslist searching has begun, and the tuneless whine of the practice instrument (some sort of recorder) has been emanating from the computer speakers as one ponders the options in delighted wonder and the other wears the expression of having just chewed a rancid lemon.
Project Bagpipes: commencing.
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