Welcome to My World
Posted by Moose on August 18th, 2005. Filed under: Adventures.I am the black hole of directional capability. I need only to be in a car – not driving or navigating, just sitting there staring at the strange stain on the back of the seat – for that car to get lost. Even if the driver knows exactly where she’s going.
When actually driving myself, I can pull some truly impressive stunts. I once took two bridges to get from San Francisco to San Mateo. (There’s no water between San Francisco and San Mateo. If you were wondering.) I have traversed mountains, from one end to the other and back again, searching for hiking spots that utterly fail to materialize even though I KNOW THEY EXIST.
I’ve gotten lost and pulled over for directions, only to lock the keys in the car. It’s a family trait. One camping trip, we arrived at Big Basin – only to find out that we were supposed to be in Big Sur, three hours away. Later that same trip, someone (exactly which someone is under debate to this day) locked the keys in the car. The car with all the food inside. Ever try to call Triple A from the woods?
Now that you’re up to date on the humiliating annals, it should come as no surprise when I announce that today, in a stunning display or ineptitude, I broke my own record. There’s a nice little drive between San Francisco and Mountain View. It takes, on average, under an hour. Unless you’re me. In which case, it takes two hours and 45 minutes.
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